marrige falling apart .don't know what to do

marisco_2

victory wrote: »

Well it does seem to have an awful lot of problems inside one post:eek:

Unbelievable ones at that. The OP says his wife told him a year ago that she had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and given 18 months to live or up to 2 1/2 years if she had treatment. Which apparently she turned down and refused to have. Yet a year on and she is showing no visible signs of being ill to the point where he is questioning if she was being honest and is fit and well enough to be moving across the road.

Also if they put in a claim for I/S care allowance in December, which they are sure someone from the dwp has pocketed (as if), why would they think that the back payments were up to 24K just six months on. I know this country has a ludicrously generous benefits system but payments haven't reached those ridiculous levels yet.

Sorry to be blunt but if you are going to spin a tale OP you need to get some basic facts right, or people are going to see straight through you.

Dunroamin

marisco wrote: »

Is it just me that thinks this thread screams 'half term troll'

Nope......

fluffymuffy

I find . random punctuation.disturbing .

crying_inside

Yes I know . But I don't want a new start. . To the other poster my life has been a blur for the past two years. With not knowing what is going on. Being told this that and the other . Stressing out about money and such like. Now u may understand without accusing me . Of why I need help and advice. I also know that I do need to pull myself together. And also what my wife has said 24 k is a combined amount of benefits also compensation . Yes I find it hard to believe at times. . Why order a ashes to glass item and write what she wanted on the paper weight. Why write letters to her family for when it did happen ? Now perhAps you can see where I'm coming from instead of accusing me as making it up. Crazy !

Gigglepig

crying_inside wrote: »

I would not say it's anger problems I have. It s being pushed to the brink.

Sorry but people are in very difficult situations (illness, finances, people who lie to them) and yet do NOT push/hit each other, abuse their wives or wreck the house in front of their children! You need to sort out how you deal with things when pushed to the brink.

Basically, the problem is not being pushed to the brink, but how you deal with it when life gets tough. You will of course want to sort put all these problems that stress out out, but please don't use them as an excuse for completely unacceptable behaviour.

1. I think you should go see a counsellor asap firstly on your own
2. and also try to arrange counselling/mediation with your wife, since there are obviously some serious issues here that you should discuss
3. Also if you are not 100% well behaved and under control when drinking, stop drinking - if you need help with that speak to your GP.
4. Your wife may have mental health issues and perhaps should go see her GP as well, but before you can help her, it sounds like you need to sort yourself out.


OP for your children's sake (both those from this, and from your previous relationship) I do hope you are a troll!

Dunroamin

I

fluffymuffy wrote: »

I find . random punctuation.disturbing .

And very adolescent.

paulineb_2

You dont act like two people who like one another and you both sound incredibly immature. It sounds extremely co dependent and that neither of you know how to exist peacefully, always got to be some other drama

Im assuming you got married because of her illness?

The family you left, do you see them?

thorsoak

I too think that the OP is a troll - and one who has loaded his troll trolley with so many stories that all the ends will unravel soon ....so I am asking a few questions:-

1. What about the family you left for this woman - are there children involved - do you/should you be paying maintenance - and if not - why the heck not?

2. If you think that she is telling you lies about the terminal illness - why have you not gone with her to the hospital/asked her consultant?

3. If you "love" her - why are you getting involved with internet !!!!!!/cam/scam?

4. Why are you not seeking work/claiming benefits?

5. Are you terminally stupid - or do you think we are?

Pollycat

crying_inside wrote: »

she and the kids are my world.

No, they are not your world!
Otherwise you would not have subjected them to this:

crying_inside wrote: »

Although at times I have messed up with them all by the pressure and strain. Drinking stupid causing rows and more I have broke things in the past. And the day she left I got drunk .took tv off her smashed it then proceeded to wreck the house and this my kids saw.

Do your children a massive favour and leave them alone.

crying_inside wrote: »

What can I do to win her back ?

You sound like a match made in Hell.

crying_inside wrote: »

What can I do for money ? . ;

Start a sensible money-related thread either on the DFW or Benefits board, detailing your financial position and ask for advice.

System

your poor kids.