Would you date someone with a disabled child?

skylight

As with everything with regards to a relationship, you just do not know what will or will not work out.

There will be some who wont date you because of your son - disabled or otherwise, there will be others who don't like your glasses and there will be others who don't like your body shape or taste in music.

You won't know who's out there until you try. And as with all dating "problems" you will face set backs and morons.

*You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince*

Gavin83

I wouldn't. However I wouldn't date someone with a child full stop. I don't want children myself so therefore it makes sense I wouldn't wish to be in a relationship with someone who already has one.

peachyprice

fluffnutter wrote: »

I'm a bit depressed by many of the answers, tbh, although appreciative of people's honesty. How does it work then? You meet someone, you get on well, you feel that spark. They tell you their child has disabilities. 'Sorry, love, not interested. Your kid's disabled. Sounds like a whole load of hard work. Bye'. Or perhaps you put on your online dating profile - 'Those with disabled kids need not apply'? I find that really sad, actually.

Life's not perfect and people aren't either. I don't doubt that bringing up a disabled child is incredibly limiting and hard work, but who said life was easy.

TBH, I don't think there is anything wrong with that degree of honesty, better to admit to the fact that you wouldn't want to care for a disabled child than have a romantic notion that you would all live happily ever after only to find you just can't do it.

To be blinded by the first flush of love into thinking that you would have a normal relationship with the parent is foolish at best very cruel at worst.

Some parents choose not to continue with a pregnancy when a disability is diagnosed and they know they don't want to bring that child into the world, is that sad and depressing too? Should those parents not be given that choice because life isn't perfect and not easy?

In answer to OP, no I probably wouldn't date someone with a disabled child that they were caring for full-time if I were looking for a life-long committed relationship. If I were just looking for a companion and someone I enjoyed spending some of my time with, I probably would, but I wouldn't want to be in a position where caring for the child became part of my life too.

lazer

TBH - I would have to say that I probably wouldn't, I know how selfish that sounds but it is true.

Relationships are hard work enough sometimes without adding on extra complications.

It would however depend on the extent of the disability - things like autism/ADHD etc wouldn't really put me off whereas more physical or severe mental disabilities where the parent has to provide complete care for the child for ever would put me off, I couldnt say for definate that I wouldn't but it would be a major consideration.

Tenyearstogo

I wouldn't date someone with a disabled child. I have worked with children with life limiting illness in their homes so have seen how these families are. They are often the kindest, most loving families but they struggle emotionally, physically and financially. I think I'm just too selfish to put myself in that position.

I have to add that I probably wouldn't date a single dad either, if I was single.

My husband also said that prior to meeting me though. His criteria was "no single mothers or divorcees". I was both:D he's a lot nicer than me though.

System

I'm not a guy so not sure how much i can comment.

Strictly speaking i'm not sure i'd date someone with a child (not just disabled but any child) as i'm not sure if i could be a step parent (i've had 3 and know it can be rewarding yet also turbulent too). But then i think, you can't help who you fall for, and if that person had a child, including a disabled child, then so be it. The child having a disability wouldn't be a factor in me not wanting to date them.

laurel7172

OP-I know someone whose son is that rare thing-a genuinely violent schizophrenic-who spends his life shuttling between her house and hospital.

It has taken some years, but she has met the most wonderful man, and so will you.xx

squirrelchops

I wouldn't date a man with any children, disabled or not.

Harsh, maybe but I made a decision that I did not want to enter a relationship with a man with children from a previous relationship and I was certainly not prepared to take on a 'step mum' role.

Just my personal choice.

Erinnire

I couldn't do it. Not because the child was disabled but because I've been in two relationships with children involved and it devastating when they break down and you have to walk away from those kids you love as your own, maybe a bit different if the children are grown up but I'm quite young myself so the children were always small.

So I wouldn't put myself in a situation where I could fall in love with someone with children again and I also get that it is hypocritical of me to expect someone else to come into my life and love my children with the risk of losing them at some point but that is just how it is for me.

However, that's just my feelings on it there is plenty of people out there who it wouldn't even register on the radar as a niggle let alone an issue.

LisaLou1982

For me, i think it would depend completely on the circumstances and how it affects your life, how much time you can give to your partner and how much need your child has.

Its easy enough to say that love will find a way, but can you put enough time into a relationship at the beginning for it to flourish? If you have no time to spend with someone due to the care needs of your child, then for me, i cant see how it would work IYSWIM?

For me, if i was interested in someone who kept letting me down then i wouldnt be interested in taking it further. Being a 24 hour a day carer is a tough job and i have the upmost respect for anyone that can do it, but for me, i wouldnt like to feel like i was second best.