Am I over reacting? Think I might explode if I dont talk about this

KateBob

He managed to spend £150 in one nights drinking and was still standing and making enough sense when he got home to give you this info :eek:

I think you have have every right to be more than peeved about this, even if it was his money it was ear marked for a purpose (an important one to you at that) and he !!!!ed up against the wall instead!

System

What a selfish ba$t*rd!:mad:

Person_one

tea_lover wrote: »

ETA: FWIW, my OH cleared off to watch football on my 30th and I didnt even get a card. He then sulked for 2 weeks as apparently it was unreasonable of me to be annoyed.

Surely you meant ex when you said OH?

marleyboy

The secret to any good birthday present is the surprise. Until it is your birthday there is no point in racking your brains over what he MIGHT have bought for you.

I certainly would not want my OH to know what surprises I have for her on her birthday, dare she question how much and what I have spent my money on, I would happily tell her I blew the lot on a horse race if it meant keeping a present as a surprise.

I have never expected to receive birthday presents, making me even more grateful for the surprise gifts I may get, regardless of costs.

Tropez

I'm finding this quite confusing.

You say he was given £150 with which to buy you a present, yet you then go on to say the money came from his bank account but then you also say that he said he was taking the £150 to go shopping.

So, was he given the money, or did he take it? If it was given to him, who gave it to him? If he took the money, where did he take it from?

Did it come from his bank account or from a joint bank account?

To be honest though, regardless of any promises of a present, anyone who spends £150 in a night on booze would be less than useless to me.

HeadAboveWater

OP, I'd react the same way!

Me and OH (apparently!) have very different ideas when it comes to birthdays:
He 'doesn't want a fuss', but yet has to get out with his mates for drinks :huh:
I, on the other hand, do want a fuss! So for my birthday in March I told him I wanted to go away for a night. No present. (Had to make extra sure he got me a card though!) Did he surprise me?? Nope! I had to research, decide where I wanted to go, book it, pay the deposit and get £ changed to €, then he paid the balance at the hotel!!!

It was more like me making a fuss of me but I got my night away so shouldn't really complain (note to self: book most expensive hotel next time )

The point is, the money was meant to be set aside specifically for your big 3-0 shopping trip. The fact that he drunk it would make me mad!

But like other posters have said, wait til nearer the time as he may have something else sorted or in mind for you. Don't assume just yet without knowing all the facts!

EDIT:
Crossed posts!

How can you be so sure there are no surprises?!

marleyboy

chelseablue wrote: »

There are definately no surprises coming
I can bet the 150 quid on it

Yep, that's EXACTLY what I would want my Mrs to think. Then I could sit back and watch her eat such words on that big day.

geoffky

How long will you let this continue...Doing £150 in on the lash must involve some coke because even in my greatest drinking days i could not have done anything near £150..I could with some coke...

Tiddlywinks

This is your life and the only opinion that matters is yours.

If you think you can live with this then OK... if not, then you need to do something about it.

Just accepting it gives him the signal that you have no self respect.

paulineb_2

chelseablue wrote: »

Perhaps mine and yours are related

I look after the finances. He's useless with money, as you've all gathered by now.

He said he was taking £150 to go shopping specifically for my birthday

Well I think thats the bigger problem to be honest, his lack of control over his own money.

Personally, I couldnt be with someone long term (and I know I said birthdays dont matter to be much,they dont), if they were absolutely useless with cash to the point where they let me down constantly. And I have been in the past.

And I dont want to be with someone who I have to mother as opposed to being in a relationship with, again been there and done that.

The birthday is obviously just a small part of bigger issues re cash that he cant handle.

Or wont handle.