Ex wife lied to where she has taken kids abroad. Where do i stand?

Moonwax

Jinx wrote: »

I said I didn't know exactly where they were, as in I know they are in Tenerife, Canada etc and flying to the airport nearest and of course what dates they were leaving and coming back but not the exact hotel/area. That's because my ex-husband and I shared the care of our child - I didn't need it all in writing. Similarly when my daughter went skiing with my brother and his wife - I trust these people with my child - they are responsible toward her in the UK and even more so abroad.

Are you seriously suggesting that in the event of them going missing nothing could be done and they couldn't be traced? As I said before, an element of overreaction here.....

When it comes to my children, i can overreact if it ensures their safety and my knowledge they are ok. Is that a crime?

aliasojo

KxMx wrote: »

I bet the replies would be different had a mother been the one posting.

Not from my pov, I'd have said exactly the same things.

Double standards or what!

Do any of you keyboard warriors actually have any direct experience of these kinds of situations? Because I do and can well understand OP's worry.

Yip. And as annoying and concerning it was at the time, not once did my reaction contain thoughts of 'police' 'solicitor' 'talking to' etc etc.

I disliked the man (my ex husband) but I recognised his ability to look after his kids for a week. I also recognised my anger at him was because I had no control over the situation and not because I was worried about the kids.

thehappybutterfly

Moonwax, what makes you think she might not come back? Has she threatened this? Is she marrying a US citizen? If she's not, she'll find it very difficult to stay in the US without the proper paperwork. Unless she's American?

thegirlintheattic

Moonwax wrote: »

A discussion when she gets back at how dissapointed i am is not really going to help is it? What if she doesnt come back? What if she does it again? Whats stops me from worrying?

As said before, unless she is marrying a US citizen it is VERY unlikely she is going to stay in the US. You seem to be thinking worst case scenario instead of what it likely.

Has she ever done anything to suggest she would take them?#

Legally I doubt the police would do anything until the date which they said they would be back has passed and they are not back, unless there is significant evidence prior to that.

balletshoes

Moonwax wrote: »

Thats fine, but try and keep to the topic please.

Indeed she is entitled to have a happy wedding, she knows i wouldnt stop that. So she doesnt want me to know. Yes she lied.

What in the law do i have to stand on? Thats is the answer.

A discussion when she gets back at how dissapointed i am is not really going to help is it?
What if she doesnt come back? What if she does it again? Whats stops me from worrying?

okay, lets look at this logically.

when you thought she was going to Orlando, USA, you had no worries that she wouldn't come back. So why now are you worried because she's in Las Vegas, USA, for 5 days, instead of Orlando, USA?

aliasojo

Moonwax wrote: »

When it comes to my children, i can overreact if it ensures their safety and my knowledge they are ok. Is that a crime?

How does you knowing anything about where they are ensure their safety?

This isn't about them. It's about you and how you feel.

Jinx

Unless she is marrying an American I don't think you have cause for concern.... I would say the children and finances will have her back home as planned.

Going forward I suppose it depends on the outcome of your chat when she returns. Personally I don't see any merit in trying to stop them holidaying abroad in the future - I think ultimately you will need to either get over or try to understand why she lied. You do seem hellbent on ensuring you get your way - do you have concerns re her capabilities as a mother. If not, then still over reacting.

geoffky

I can not see what the problem is!
But if you have not heard from them in a few weeks time then you might have a reason to panic...
Sounds like you do not enjoy not being in control...
And i do not blame her for lying if this is how you react.
YOUR KIDS ARE SAFE....

Zoetoes

Moonwax wrote: »

Thats fine, but try and keep to the topic please.

Indeed she is entitled to have a happy wedding, she knows i wouldnt stop that. So she doesnt want me to know. Yes she lied.

What in the law do i have to stand on? Thats is the answer.

A discussion when she gets back at how dissapointed i am is not really going to help is it? What if she doesnt come back? What if she does it again? Whats stops me from worrying?

This is the topic.

Law for what though? What is it you want to achieve? She has taken them to the country you agreed to so I'm unsure if she has actually done anything wrong legally. You've already said you don't expect her not to bring them back

I'll make a suggestion then..read over your posts on here and think about what you have suggested you may do and what it will actually achieve and who it will benefit.

Then perhaps think about having a chat to her when she is back and asking her why she lied. She might say she thought you'd stop the kids going, then you can say you wouldn't have stopped them and congratulations but please in future let me know where you are taking the kids and don't lie as I worry.

Maybe then she would feel happy at not having police and solicitors and restrictions involved, you would feel happy that you don't need to get police, solicitors and restrictions involved and the kids will feel happy!

Moonwax

I came for advice, i got some good & great advice. Thanks guys.

Yes i mention solicitor, for legal grounds.
Police for advice? They know the law is that a problem?

Overeact? So what? Im concerned i have been completly lied to. But i now have advice to go on, from here and other sources.

My kids are the most important in my life i can be controlling regarding them only! I have looked into the worse case scenario now and know what to do, also know what to speak to the mother about upon their return.

I didnt need the judging by some of you who did, but learnt you have no clue about the law and situatuation i am in. Are probably a disgrunted parent who has some issues about an ex.

Thanks again to those who have helped. But im signing off here now.