Ex wife lied to where she has taken kids abroad. Where do i stand?

peachyprice

Moonwax wrote: »

What in the law do i have to stand on? Thats is the answer.

A discussion when she gets back at how dissapointed i am is not really going to help is it? What if she doesnt come back? What if she does it again? Whats stops me from worrying?

You've already been told. A court order preventing you both from taking them out of the country until they are adults is what you can do in law. That's it.

19lottie82

OP I understand you are a bit miffed here and tbh I think if I were you I would feel the same BUT....

It's obvious that your wife didn't tell she she was taking the kids to her wedding in LV for a reason.

I think she was scared you wouldn't be happy and would kick off. You SAY you wouldn't but its obvious she thinks otherwise (rightly or wrongly) and that's why she did it.

Perhaps the children think the same (kids pick up on their parents relationship tensions very easily) which is why they aren't responding on their phones / tablets - chances are they don't want to be put in a position where they have to lie to you.

I'm sorry I'm not meaning to have a go at you but to put things into perceptive, my OHs ex wife (who he has two daughters with) is one of the most unreasonable and troublesome people I have ever come across, but if you asked her to admit that she behaved like this, would she? I bet my house that she wouldn't.

I'm not for one minute saying you're that bad, all I'm trying to show is that 2 people may have totally different opinions on each others attitudes and behaviour.

paulineb_2

Calien27 wrote: »

But she hasn't broken any laws...there isn't any thing in place stopping her from taking them to one state instead of the one she told you they were going to.

As for last part...pot meet kettle.

Legally, shes got written permission to go from the OP. Shes not committed any crime as far as I can see from discussions on the internet about this, articles by law firms, shes just lied about where they are.

And yes that might mean in future that a court will need to decide if these kids leave the country and I understand it must be awful for the OP not being able to get in touch, but as has been said already, if they share responsibility for the kids and theres no reason to believe she would disappear with them, they arent at any more risk being abroad than they would be at home with the mum.

If shes posting on facebook and you can see her posts theres no reason why you cant PM her, wedding or not.

Calien27

If the OP decides to return or is still reading....

When did they leave and when are they due back?

Also when calling, remember time differences. It's 19:30 over here but over there it's only 11:30 in the morning in Vegas. If you've been phoning mid afternoon on our time they're most likely asleep over there.

busiscoming2

Perhaps she didn't tell you OP or the children because she wanted it to be a surprise for them and you may have spoilt it for her.

I can understand your concern but as many others have said as long as she is marrying a British citizen then they will have to come back.

janninew

gotnodosh wrote: »

Does anyone else find strange that the op found out through social media? Why are you Facebook stalking her if your only interest and worry is for your children? I think your main concern is that you have lost the control that you obviously had over your ex wife once, I don't think it has anything to do with the children.

I don't find it strange, they were married, they have children together, maybe they still have mutual friends, have each others family as friends on facebook. Who knows? There are many plausible explanations that don't involve 'stalking.'

Blackpool_Saver

gotnodosh wrote: »

Does anyone else find strange that the op found out through social media? Why are you Facebook stalking her if your only interest and worry is for your children? I think your main concern is that you have lost the control that you obviously had over your ex wife once, I don't think it has anything to do with the children.

this ......:T

Robisere

It's the lie that gave rise to your anxiety and worry, is it not? Has she lied like that before?

You could phone your Local Government Child Services, via the local Council offices, they will give you the number. Tell them you are a concerned parent, if you don't want to give your name, don't. Just say that you need advice about a parenting issue. Explain the problem in general terms and ask advice regarding your position.

Has there been a Court Order giving you a certain amount of Parental responsibility, with some form of Contact arrangements with your children? This would have involved a solicitor working on your behalf at the time and their files will still be open. Contact them if that is the case.

Richard53

I can well understand the OP's concerns, and I think a lot of responses here have made light of what must be a worrying situation. You agree, amicably I assume, for your ex to take your children out of the country. You are given flight and accommodation details, which you believe are true. You then find out that your ex has lied deliberately about these details, and is taking them to another destination for, apparently, another purpose entirely. (The actual destinations and reasons are irrelevant.) What sensible person wouldn't get anxious in these circumstances? You've agreed to the trip, but now find that all the info you were given is false. Why?

I would be concerned that the ex is planning something with the children that I wasn't meant to know about. There may be a perfectly innocent explanation, but that isn't obvious at first glance. I would agree that a softly-softly approach is the best. The OP wants to have a relationship with the kids after all this has blown over, and going in with a legal team and armed response may not be the best way of achieving that.

The reported bar crawls are a worry too. Maybe the ex has made excellent arrangements for the children to be looked after while this is going on - but how is the OP to know that? In his position I would be very concerned indeed for their welfare. Maybe his slightly old-fashioned tone has put some people's backs up, but he's still a caring Dad who just wants his kids to be safe.

To those who say he has nothing to worry about because they had good, trusting relations with their own exes - perhaps the whole point of the post is that this isn't true for him?

When I took my own children out of the country (ex had sole custody, long story), I had to give times, dates, locations and everything, and I know that if I had deviated even slightly from those I would probably never have seen them again. (Yes, it was that bad.) I accepted the situation, and tried hard to work with my ex to reassure her that her children were going to be OK. I didn't think it was unreasonable of her to want that. I feel the same about the OP here.

peachyprice

gotnodosh wrote: »

Does anyone else find strange that the op found out through social media? Why are you Facebook stalking her if your only interest and worry is for your children? I think your main concern is that you have lost the control that you obviously had over your ex wife once, I don't think it has anything to do with the children.

Yes, very strange indeed, as I said earlier in the thread, I don't even know, or care, whether or not my ex has a facebook account and wouldn't think of even looking. I certainly have no interest in what is going on in his life beyond my children being happy with him.