Ex wife lied to where she has taken kids abroad. Where do i stand?

Calien27

The only thing she has planned without telling the OP about is going to Vegas to get married, should she have said she was actually going there instead of Orlando? Yes, although going to both places whilst over there is possible. Should she have told the OP why they were going to Vegas? It's her wedding, if she didn't want to tell him she and her partner are getting married, that's up to her.

As for the bar crawl, with there being a wedding she probably has a relative or two out there who can look after the kids while everyone else goes out.

He hasn't given any indication that she isn't a good mum when at home so there's no reason to suspect that she's suddenly going to become a terrible parent when on holiday.

emsywoo123

Moonwax wrote: »

Written via email yes, with location and dates confirmned.
She then provided me false flights no's and accomodation, and have gone somehwere different to agreed location.

I know OP has "gone", but why would she have had to give flight numbers and accommodation details? Is this not excessive?

Richard53

peachyprice wrote: »

So you accepted you were a lesser parent?

Not at all. What did I say that made you think that?

paulineb_2

From what Ive read about this online, she would have had to provide details of flights and accommodation if a court ordered it. If the other parent gave permission it would seem not.

Im assuming though that the mum doesnt have sole custody as the OP talked about having equal parenting rights (I think that was what was said).

Taking a Child out of the Country

This used to be very complicated for divorced parents, but nowadays a foreign holiday is no big deal. If the parents agree, then nobody's permission is needed. If there is a Residence Order in force (indicating a past dispute) then the parent with the Residence Order can take a child out of the country provided it is for no longer than one month. Any other party would need that parent's written consent. Some countries (especially the USA) may refuse a tourist visa if written consent is not provided, even for a holiday.
If there is a dispute over a holiday, then a court can resolve it by a Contact, Specific Issue or Prohibited Steps Order.
Taking a child to another country for longer, say a year's posting or (more often) permanently is an issue that has been the subject of many Court of Appeal decisions. It may be best summarised by these statements.
1. If the proposal is made for good reason and properly thought through, it shall normally be granted.
2. If it is not for good reason or not properly thought through, it shall normally be refused.
3. A court may have to consider the impact on the resident parent of refusing an application and the consequent impact on the Children (the Rule inPayne -v- Payne).
4. The other parent may well argue that , whatever the merits, the children might be better off with them instead.

Taking a child on holiday

The necessity to obtain permission to take a child out of the UK is not commonly known. It often depends on what Children Act Orders have been made, if any, and applies whether it is a day trip to France, a fortnight to Florida or the whole of the school holidays with relatives in Pakistan.

Consideration should first of all be given as to who has parental responsibility. If both parents have parental responsibility and there are no residence orders or other restrictions in place, then neither can take the child on holiday outside the United Kingdom without the written consent of the other parent or any other party with parental responsibility. If consent is refused, an application to the Court will need to be made for permission.
The situation is different where one parent has a Residence Order. A person with a Residence Order can take a child abroad for up to a month without the written consent of the other parent. However, it is good parenting to endeavour to agree the arrangements in advance; if consent is unreasonably withheld then an application may be made to the Court.
If the mother alone has parental responsibility and there are no residence orders concerning the child, permission is not strictly needed by her to take a child abroad on holiday. However, again it is responsible parenting to consult and reach agreement with the other parent. Of course this does not stop a father without parental responsibility applying for parental responsibility and then objecting to the temporary removal of the child.
In almost all cases it is best to agree holiday or similar arrangements in advance to avoid misunderstandings, problems with contact, accusations of abduction and other applications to the Court. In the normal course of events permission for a child to go abroad is invariably given by a Court. Often details are required stating where the child will be staying, giving the date of departure, return and details of flights along with contact telephone numbers. If however there are suspicions that the child will not be returned, especially if the child is going to a non Hague Convention Country, then security will be necessary.

shellsuit

gotnodosh wrote: »

Does anyone else find strange that the op found out through social media? Why are you Facebook stalking her if your only interest and worry is for your children? I think your main concern is that you have lost the control that you obviously had over your ex wife once, I don't think it has anything to do with the children.

Why assume he is stalking her?

A mutual friend might have commented on something of hers, or even liked a photo of hers, and it could have shown in the OPs feed, or the ticker in the top right hand corner.

paulineb_2

I think a message on facebook could have put the OPs mind at rest. Also, as someone else said, its possible that they did go to Orlando or are going to Orlando and then went over to Vegas to get married.

I do hope it all works out in the end and shes made a mistake, a massive one, but there are still kids involved in it all and once they are back safe and sound it would be a shame to take the shine off their holiday if all hell is going to break loose on their return.

I think Id have sent a PM or asked someone else to, if I wasnt on her friends list just to say, please text or email just to let me know everything is ok.

I hope it all works out in the end.

pesky85

Give the poor guy a break - seriously shocked at some of your insensitive responses!

The OP was given false details by the kids' mother and she has since arrogantly splashed it all over facebook that they're somewhere thousands of miles away. Her motive is irrelevant, she shouldn't have lied. Of course he is going to worry!!

She has been irresponsible and I don't believe for one second that she posted her location on facebook not knowing that he would read it.

I see it as her being spiteful, not him being controlling.

Calien27

Arrogantly posted on FB? I think the majority of people who have a FB go on holiday and end up "bragging" about it on their status updates. I seriously doubt there was anything malicious about her talking about it on FB.

Besides, we don't even know if they are even friends on FB, he could easily be looking at her profile if she doesn't have security settings that don't allow non friends to see what she's posting.

It doesn't take that long to fly from Vegas to Orlando, getting married and hopping a plane to Florida is possible.

paulineb_2

Its a 3 hour flight from Orlando to Vegas, certainly within the realms of possibility.

longforgotten

I too am flabberghasted by some of the replies on here.

This guy is fully justified to feel as he does.

She should have been upfront about the holiday, given correct details about the flights etc. Whatever happened to common courtesy for goodness sake.