Ex wife lied to where she has taken kids abroad. Where do i stand?

Moonwax

Zoetoes wrote: »

Because she is the mother of your children and her being hit by a truck would not be in the best interests of the children now would it? And why would you feel the need to say that if you were amicable with her up until this?

Because you sound very bitter towards her considering you have been divorced 6 years.

Using wording such as 'I'll get to say..', 'I'll give her a stern talking to'. No wonder she's not replying to you.

This is not about your kids at all, this is about you not having control of what is happening now.

Haha your reading into this all wrong so il kindly ask you to leave it from now on. Thanks for the input but your now digging at me rather than the point of topic.

Im asking, not telling so dont take this as controlling please?

Zoetoes

Moonwax wrote: »

Haha your reading into this all wrong so il kindly ask you to leave it from now on. Thanks for the input but your now digging at me rather than the point of topic.

Im asking, not telling so dont take this as controlling please?

This is a forum where people can post, and people do not all have the same opinion so you cannot expect everyone posting to agree with you and tell you what you want to hear.

Your ex wife is entitled to have a happy wedding day and share it with her children, maybe she simply did not want you to know she was getting married and this is the reason.

Jinx

Moonwax wrote: »

So if they never came back and you never heard from them you wouldnt have a single clue where they went?

No they are not safer me knowing where they are, but my mind is at rest worrying.

I said I didn't know exactly where they were, as in I know they are in Tenerife, Canada etc and flying to the airport nearest and of course what dates they were leaving and coming back but not the exact hotel/area. That's because my ex-husband and I shared the care of our child - I didn't need it all in writing. Similarly when my daughter went skiing with my brother and his wife - I trust these people with my child - they are responsible toward her in the UK and even more so abroad.

Are you seriously suggesting that in the event of them going missing nothing could be done and they couldn't be traced? As I said before, an element of overreaction here.....

KxMx

Zoetoes wrote: »

This is a forum where people can post, and people do not all have the same opinion so you cannot expect everyone posting to agree with you and tell you what you want to hear.

Your ex wife is entitled to have a happy wedding day and share it with her children, maybe she simply did not want you to know she was getting married and this is the reason.

This crossed my mind, but sometimes for the sake of the children you have to tell the ex things you'd rather not under other circumstances. Be grown up and sensible about it. Providing the children's father with false contact details and taking them somewhere you haven't told him you are going is not on IMO.

I wonder if the ex wife would be happy if OP did with their children what she has done?

balletshoes

KxMx wrote: »

I bet the replies would be different had a mother been the one posting.

Double standards or what!

Do any of you keyboard warriors actually have any direct experience of these kinds of situations? Because I do and can well understand OP's worry.

this point has already been brought up in this thread - I wouldn't be saying anything different if it was mum posting instead of dad.

Calien27

Moonwax wrote: »

I am in no way controlling. I care and love my kids! I just want to know they are safe. Is that really a crime.

I have tried looking at it from her side but find it strange she lied, though that is why we split up... But to lie about the wedding is odd, as she knows im happy for her.

Choice of words may sound controlling but if it were your kids?? What would you say?

If it were me I wouldn't be thinking "solicitors, police and stern talking to" I'd want to know why he felt he had to lie and go from there so in future if either of us want to take them somewhere we can have total honesty and no "I don't give you permission"

What exactly do you expect the police to do anyway? She hasn't done anything wrong, she's taken the kids on holiday, there is no order saying she can't take them to X Y or Z.

Your kids are probably having a great time in America, whilst your working yourself into a tizzy over it. Whatever you do, don't throw a fit as soon as they get back. Calmly talk to your ex, find out why she lied and take it from there.

Zoetoes

KxMx wrote: »

This crossed my mind, but sometimes for the sake of the children you have to tell the ex things you'd rather not under other circumstances. Be grown up and sensible about it. Providing the children's father with false contact details and taking them somewhere you haven't told him you are going is not on IMO.

But we don't know yet what they are doing, they may still be doing as she said but she just missed out the married in Vegas bit.

I agree it should be all open and honest but for some reason she has not told her ex this part, maybe because he would have made things difficult for her and spolit what should be a happy time. He is not coming across as being happy for her!

thehappybutterfly

KxMx wrote: »

This crossed my mind, but sometimes for the sake of the children you have to tell the ex things you'd rather not under other circumstances. Be grown up and sensible about it. Providing the children's father with false contact details and taking them somewhere you haven't told him you are going is not on IMO.

I wonder if the ex wife would be happy if OP did with their children what she has done?

true. She could have told him where they were going but not necessarily why they were going. But we don't know why she said one place and then went to another. Some people just like to be contrary I guess - maybe she had absolutely no reason to lie other than "because she could".

Moonwax

Zoetoes wrote: »

This is a forum where people can post, and people do not all have the same opinion so you cannot expect everyone posting to agree with you and tell you what you want to hear.

Your ex wife is entitled to have a happy wedding day and share it with her children, maybe she simply did not want you to know she was getting married and this is the reason.

Thats fine, but try and keep to the topic please.

Indeed she is entitled to have a happy wedding, she knows i wouldnt stop that. So she doesnt want me to know. Yes she lied.

What in the law do i have to stand on? Thats is the answer.

A discussion when she gets back at how dissapointed i am is not really going to help is it? What if she doesnt come back? What if she does it again? Whats stops me from worrying?

KxMx

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

true. She could have told him where they were going but not necessarily why they were going. But we don't know why she said one place and then went to another. Some people just like to be contrary I guess - maybe she had absolutely no reason to lie other than "because she could".

Indeed we don't know that.

Hasn't stopped some suggesting OP is controlling and ex didn't want her nice happy big day (ie miss innocent) spoiled!

I would urge OP to try and think calmly, I know you are very worried now but the wrong action now can have lasting negative consequences. I speak from experience.

If it was me I would continue trying to contact your ex or the kids, don't go in all guns blazing, and when they get back speak to your ex and a solicitor if necessary to try and find a way forward.