Ex wife lied to where she has taken kids abroad. Where do i stand?

Zoetoes

Moonwax wrote: »

Definatly not going to happen, thought getting written permission would be enough.

I think a good talking too with mediation is the way forward. And il get her to say she will never lie again. There was no reason to lie, i wouldnt have had a problem.

The specific reason is parental responsibility, and were divorced. Thats all really.

And this...

Moonwax

Zoetoes wrote: »

This is an example of why she probably didn't tell you.

Why? Because i dont care about her?

I care about my kids, have the Legal right to know where they are and in whos care they are under! Is that wrong?

Sorry for being a caring father.


Yes the police sound severe, i want advice, can they not advise me? Cheaper than a £200ph solicitor. ( dont need a convo on the cost of solicitor thanks)

thehappybutterfly

Moonwax wrote: »

Bad choice of words, sorrrry!

Tbh she has lied i will be discussing this with her with dissapointment in my voice. Does that sound better?

(trying not to put this accross as sounding controlling...)

That's a bit better

Hopefully by the time they come back you will have calmed down a little and be able to have a calm discussion, ask her why she lied and explain why it's bothered you, i.e. if anything happened to them while they were away and the potential disappointment of your kids. Although I bet they will have loved Vegas baby!

Of course you're right to be concerned but is it not a bit premature to start talking about solicitors and police?

Dimey

I'm with you MoonWax.
I think both parents should know where their children are at any given time and there was no reason for the Ex to lie and cause all this worry. Of course it makes you think about putting plans in place to better protect the children and the parents peace of mind in future.

What if some catastrophe happened in Orlando and MoonWax wanted to find out if his children were OK but couldn't get hold of them or give correct flight details to the authorities. Vice Versa with Vegas. He'd be thought a bad parent for not knowing.

No, I think honesty is a reasonable policy to expect where children are concerned and I hope the solicitor is able to get it for you in future. It shouldn't take much to find out both parties rights & responsibilities and agree a set of simple ground rules.

balletshoes

julie03 wrote: »

i would be a bit annoyed especially as the kids were excited about going, why would any mother lie like that to their kids.

we don't know yet that they're not going to Orlando for the kids to do all the things they were excited about.

Calien27

There has to be a reason why she felt she had to lie about where she was going, and from everything you've said on here you come across as bit controlling.

Your kids are probably out having a fantastic time on their holiday and are too knackered out at the end of the day to even think about checking their phones for messages.

thehappybutterfly

I actually had to have a similar conversation with my then 14 year old daughter who lied to me about where she was one night. She told me she was staying at her friend's house and told her friend's mum that they were both staying elsewhere. I knew something was up and eventually her dad went and picked her up and brought her home. I was furious but reined it in to have a civil conversation with her about why she shouldn't have lied, e.g. if she hadn't come home the next day and I'm trying to explain to the police where she was and when I last saw her. If I'd gone in all guns blazing, she'd have clammed up and never told me anything again.

Zoetoes

Moonwax wrote: »

Why? Because i dont care about her?

I care about my kids, have the Legal right to know where they are and in whos care they are under! Is that wrong?

Sorry for being a caring father.


Yes the police sound severe, i want advice, can they not advise me? Cheaper than a £200ph solicitor. ( dont need a convo on the cost of solicitor thanks)

Because she is the mother of your children and her being hit by a truck would not be in the best interests of the children now would it? And why would you feel the need to say that if you were amicable with her up until this?

Because you sound very bitter towards her considering you have been divorced 6 years.

Using wording such as 'I'll get her to say..', 'I'll give her a stern talking to'. No wonder she's not replying to you.

This is not about your kids at all, this is about you not having control of what is happening now.

Moonwax

Calien27 wrote: »

There has to be a reason why she felt she had to lie about where she was going, and from everything you've said on here you come across as bit controlling.

Your kids are probably out having a fantastic time on their holiday and are too knackered out at the end of the day to even think about checking their phones for messages.

I am in no way controlling. I care and love my kids! I just want to know they are safe. Is that really a crime.

I have tried looking at it from her side but find it strange she lied, though that is why we split up... But to lie about the wedding is odd, as she knows im happy for her.

Choice of words may sound controlling but if it were your kids?? What would you say?

KxMx

I bet the replies would be different had a mother been the one posting.

Double standards or what!

Do any of you keyboard warriors actually have any direct experience of these kinds of situations? Because I do and can well understand OP's worry.