Ex wife lied to where she has taken kids abroad. Where do i stand?

ognum

marisco wrote: »

I dont think the OP has come over as controlling at all. People who are divorced need to obtain written permission from their ex partners in order to take their children out the country. The OP agreed to this and gave his permission happilly. Being a responsible dad he asked for flights and accomodation details. What kind of parent wouldn't want that information when their children are travelling so far away. Why is there always a tendency to look on people in such negative ways on this forum without any just cause?

I usually agree with you but I actually beg to differ, having read the OPs responses he suggests 'a good talking too' which is not an adult to adult method of communication!

OP then suggests mediation in the next breathe which to me means I will say what I want and then you will agree. I could of course be wrong.

I am saddened that a separated couple cannot be open and reasonable with each other but there are always two sides to a story and the OPs ex may have a good reason for not telling the OP where she is going, there is no court order to stop her and legally she has not done wrong.

The only thing I would suggest to the OP is to go for mediation and leave the 'good talking too' as this really suggest a controlling personality.

Dunroamin

Moonwax wrote: »

Definatly not going to happen, thought getting written permission would be enough.

I think a good talking too with mediation is the way forward. And il get her to say she will never lie again. There was no reason to lie, i wouldnt have had a problem.

The specific reason is parental responsibility, and were divorced. Thats all really.

I think I've spotted why she's married someone else!

paulineb_2

Moonwax wrote: »

Woww hang on a minute!

Im doing what the law states and being a loving dad who just wants to know where his kids are.

If she told me shes getting married, great im happy. She is providing the security of a family the kids need better than a single benfit scrounging mum then!
Going vegas, yes fine great could have to,d her good place for kids.

Lying to me and kids about disney world... Different matter altogether!

Il be controlling over my kids for their safety that is all.

Bottom line is she has lied to me,what if something happened???

To be honest, if something happened, you wouldnt be able to do much about it anyway. I do understand you are concerned that you cant contact them but as someone else has said, its very possible their devices dont work in the states, I went to Orlando 2 years ago and my phone didnt work and even when I bought a local sim card, still wouldnt work.

The positive about all of this is, if she were planning to do something ridiculous I dont think for a minute would she be posting all over her facebook what shes doing.

nearlyrich

I took my children on many holidays over years I never told their Dad where we were staying or exact travel details. He was a control freak and if he could have done anything to spoil my life he would have done.

OP your children are in the USA with their mother who I presume they live with some or all of each week, why do you think this is something to be concerned about?

thehappybutterfly

marisco wrote: »

I dont think the OP has come over as controlling at all. People who are divorced need to obtain written permission from their ex partners in order to take their children out the country. The OP agreed to this and gave his permission happilly. Being a responsible dad he asked for flights and accomodation details. What kind of parent wouldn't want that information when their children are travelling so far away. Why is there always a tendency to look on people in such negative ways on this forum without any just cause?

But to say that he's "going to give her a good talking to" is unbelievably controlling! Who the hell does he think he is?

Nobody in my life would ever get away with "giving me a good talking to" especially an ex.

daisiegg

Alikay wrote: »

btw, they won't be allowed into the casinos in Vegas if your worried about that - they're more likely to be exposed to gambling on Brighton seafront.

I don't think this is true? They won't be able to gamble of course(!) but the majority of the hotels have a casino as their entire ground floor...it would be impossible for kids to get in and out of the hotel, to and from their rooms and restaurants etc if they weren't allowed in casinos! I went to Vegas as a child (well, I was 19, but that is a child there, and my youngest sibling was under 10) and there were no restrictions on where we could walk through etc.

thegirlintheattic

paulineb wrote: »

To be honest, if something happened, you wouldnt be able to do much about it anyway. I do understand you are concerned that you cant contact them but as someone else has said, its very possible their devices dont work in the states, I went to Orlando 2 years ago and my phone didnt work and even when I bought a local sim card, still wouldnt work.

The positive about all of this is, if she were planning to do something ridiculous I dont think for a minute would she be posting all over her facebook what shes doing.

and if something really bad happened, heaven forbid, the authorities would be able to get in touch with the OP.

Moonwax

Seriously guys? Ok

We will talk as adults and she can explain why she has lied to me about where she is taking my kids, and why she has lied.

If you want to start diagnosing me and our divorce leave it off here. I only wanted some advice before i speak to a solicitor.

Choice of words always lead forum users down the wrong path..... Hence my low input on any as its always got gossipers jumping to conclusions or making their own verdicts.

Thanks to those whom have helped constructivly.

Jinx

I think its understandable to be miffed at being lied to, however, I do think there is a bit of overreaction going on here. You seem to be painting that its all about the childrens safety etc but tbh it just comes across as a smoke screen.

IMO if this woman is a responsible mother while shes in the UK then she will continue to be so while she is abroad with the children.... And if she is responsible then all talk of solicitors etc is over the top.

She may have lied or changed plans, whatever; I bet she has her own reasons for this which I am sure she will share with you when you have the conversation with her.

As a divorced parent I have always allowed my daughter to go abroad with her dad and not had exact details of where they were - I trust that he (as I do) is looking after her. Your children are not any safer for you knowing where they are, its just understandably reassuring for you.

Dunroamin

Just a thought. I wonder whether one of you's confused between Disney Land and Disney World?