Ex wife lied to where she has taken kids abroad. Where do i stand?

Moonwax

peachyprice wrote: »

It can be prevented from happening again, it will mean a court order being put in place where NEITHER parent can remove them from the UK until they are adults, so no more overseas holidays for you or their mother.

Definatly not going to happen, thought getting written permission would be enough.

I think a good talking too with mediation is the way forward. And il get her to say she will never lie again. There was no reason to lie, i wouldnt have had a problem.

The specific reason is parental responsibility, and were divorced. Thats all really.

aliasojo

Moonwax wrote: »

I think a good talking too with mediation is the way forward. And il get her to say she will never lie again. There was no reason to lie, i wouldnt have had a problem.

The specific reason is parental responsibility, and were divorced. Thats all really.

Well you're not going to like me for saying this but if there is no specific reason or past cause for you to be overly cautious, then you seem to me to be coming across as overly controlling and whilst I don't condone her not being honest, I'm not surprised she lied.

It's a short holiday, keep it in perspective otherwise the only ones that will suffer will be your kids.

minimoneysaver

I always wonder what the other side to a situation like this is?

* Maybe the children have begged and begged to go to their mothers wedding, but the only way that the mother knew how to make it happen was to tell a little white lie?

* Maybe the mother thought you might be jealous if you found out she would be going to get married abroad and was trying to protect you?

* Maybe she knew that you would never had agreed in the first place?

* Maybe she's not a very truthful person who cannot be trusted.

Either way, there are always two sides to every story.

paulineb_2

Moonwax wrote: »

Definatly not going to happen, thought getting written permission would be enough.

I think a good talking too with mediation is the way forward. And il get her to say she will never lie again. There was no reason to lie, i wouldnt have had a problem.

The specific reason is parental responsibility, and were divorced. Thats all really.

To be fair, you cant get her to say she will never lie again, you cant control how someone behaves

And you have every right to be upset, but she may have thought you would have had a problem, because shes lied for a reason.

minimoneysaver

moonwax wrote: »

definatly not going to happen, thought getting written permission would be enough.

I think a good talking too with mediation is the way forward. And il get her to say she will never lie again. There was no reason to lie, i wouldnt have had a problem.

The specific reason is parental responsibility, and were divorced. Thats all really.

seriously????

Gigglepig

Trust is a two way thing. Given how op is reacting (solicitor!? Legal advice?? ) I can see why the ex asked for permission to the 2 week holiday in the usa in orlando, and did not mention the 3 day side trip to vegas to get married. By talking about legal advice already, Op sounds a bit like the sort of ex that could kick up a stink over the marriage, maybe the ex didn't trust that Op would not spoil her big day? Just a thought op, before you go in guns blazing. Mediation may help?

marisco_2

aliasojo wrote: »

Well you're not going to like me for saying this but if there is no specific reason or past cause for you to be overly cautious, then you seem to me to be coming across as overly controlling and whilst I don't condone her not being honest, I'm not surprised she lied.

It's a short holiday, keep it in perspective otherwise the only ones that will suffer will be your kids.

I dont think the OP has come over as controlling at all. People who are divorced need to obtain written permission from their ex partners in order to take their children out the country. The OP agreed to this and gave his permission happilly. Being a responsible dad he asked for flights and accomodation details. What kind of parent wouldn't want that information when their children are travelling so far away. Why is there always a tendency to look on people in such negative ways on this forum without any just cause?

Moonwax

Woww hang on a minute!

Im doing what the law states and being a loving dad who just wants to know where his kids are.

If she told me shes getting married, great im happy. She is providing the security of a family the kids need better than a single benfit scrounging mum then!
Going vegas, yes fine great could have to,d her good place for kids.

Lying to me and kids about disney world... Different matter altogether!

Il be controlling over my kids for their safety that is all.

Bottom line is she has lied to me,what if something happened???

thegirlintheattic

I can understand that you are upset that the children are not where you thought but tbh is it a big enough deal to be threatening the police and never allowing the kids on holiday with her again.

Not knowing the situation, it sounds like she thought you would not let the children go to the wedding, so had to tell a lie to get them there. You say you'd would have let them go - but perhaps she didn't realize that. I'm sure when the kids get back they will not be concerned about not going to Orlando. At that age a holiday to America, wherever they end up, will be more than good enough. You do not know for certain that the kids have been lied to, if they are old enough to have 'apple devices' perhaps mum has said to the kids, don't tell dad but... or perhaps they have been to Orlando for a few days in the theme parks.

Unless you have concerns that she will not bring them back to the UK, which is unlikely in the states unless she is marrying a US citizen. I would take the next few days to calm down and then find out the truth when they get back. I very much doubt that the plan is to keep up the story of Orlando when they get home - where would all the photos be?!
If you go in all guns blazing based on Facebook stalking you are going to look slightly silly - especially going on about who is looking after the children during bar crawls.

Moonwax

minimoneysaver wrote: »

I always wonder what the other side to a situation like this is?

* Maybe the children have begged and begged to go to their mothers wedding, but the only way that the mother knew how to make it happen was to tell a little white lie?

* Maybe the mother thought you might be jealous if you found out she would be going to get married abroad and was trying to protect you?

* Maybe she knew that you would never had agreed in the first place?

* Maybe she's not a very truthful person who cannot be trusted.

Either way, there are always two sides to every story.

1, kids were well looking forward to disney world and especially harry potter.

2, jealous never - see last post.

3, no reason not to agree unless it was pakistan or afghanistan, iraq etc...

4 spot on :rotfl::rotfl: