Silly situation but a little upset about it.

Pixiechic

OP, it does seem that an actual time and place for the meeting was not really agreed between you. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding.

How long have you actually known her for? Have you met for coffee or been out together before?

I wouldn't text her anymore, she has your number if she wants to get in touch. I don't mean that to sound harsh.

shellsuit

top_drawer wrote: »

Yep I was annoyed and trying to convey it, maybe badly. I was genuinely glad she was ok. She left me hanging around for two hours and didn't have the decency to send a text saying "I'm sorry xxxxxxxxxxx"

I feel rejected that she wasn't willing to drive into town to see me and annoyed I'd been so pleased to meet up with a "friend"

I will certainly keep it in mind that this person isn't a "friend" as I thought the fact that we have met up outside work on a number of occasions/she came to visit me when I was first off work (although I wonder now, looking back if this was because I mentioned in the same text that I was still planning to attend her Bday event - despite my injury) and is not a formal type person.

That's the thing. She didn't leave you hanging around for 2 hours, as you both hadn't agreed you were meeting at X o'clock, so she has nothing to apologise for.

top_drawer_2

shegirl wrote: »

If somebody is giving you a lift (and on their way to work for heavens sake!) and they say they'll drop you off at such and such a place you say 'thanks'.You don't get narked over their FAVOUR not being exactly what you want/expect and say 'well xxx would be better'.

If I have a lift from a friend I often say to just drop me off on the corner etc so they don't go out of their way.

I don't want to keep adding information but on that day I was coping with two broken wrists, two bags with all my stuff in and it was pouring it down with rain.

Maybe I shouldn't have bothered had I known I couldn't manage but I thought as a friend I should make the effort as I knew from the many months of worrying/talking about it that she was worried that she would have no-one attend. I was/am narked that when I could do with just a little help, there wasn't any forthcoming.

No I won't be texting her again anytime soon. Maybe I did overstep the line re the text the following day ... I was pretty p!ssed off but I had worried all afternoon about what I had done now to be ignored and I was quite annoyed when I saw that she was all cheery on fb (and me all worried). I'm not sure how I can solve it now to be honest. Particularly since I had an inkling that she wasn't all what she seemed anyway and how to deal with this. I find people/situations hard work and despite my best efforts (much people watching, reading, counselling, going to things to practise some of what I've learnt) I don't seem to make many inroads.

I do find that people seem to alter their attitude towards me for no apparent reason and you're right that I don't mean to be a pain although I often get treated as such.

Its all been very stressful this past 6 weeks - I don't stop and stare much (try to stay busy all the time with jobs about the house/gym/work/study) and I'm getting quite peeved with people saying they're jealous I'm off sick when I'm finding it lonely, frustrating and I'm kind of stuck in a situation as to what I'm going to do with work anyway.

shegirl

top_drawer wrote: »

Yep I was annoyed and trying to convey it, maybe badly. I was genuinely glad she was ok. She left me hanging around for two hours and didn't have the decency to send a text saying "I'm sorry xxxxxxxxxxx"

I feel rejected that she wasn't willing to drive into town to see me and annoyed I'd been so pleased to meet up with a "friend"

I will certainly keep it in mind that this person isn't a "friend" as I thought the fact that we have met up outside work on a number of occasions/she came to visit me when I was first off work (although I wonder now, looking back if this was because I mentioned in the same text that I was still planning to attend her Bday event - despite my injury) and is not a formal type person.

Look,I'm going to be blunt here.

Do you not think you may have annoyed her?Making her wait.Expecting such and such (clearly on more than one occasion).Pointlessly sending three 'chatty' consecutive texts while she was going to pick up her child (did you think to respond to her text with something like 'I can wait if you still want to meet?) which may have also made her think you were ok with not meeting-perhaps-along with irritating her.Then you continued to send more texts.Told her you were going home but would stop off somewhere her.

That is not normal.She may well be a friend who cares and tries to help you but get irritated and drained by your behaviour/lack of social skills

shegirl

Op,at any point did she actually say 'sure,1pm would be great/ok,see you there/looking forard to it/see you then'?

Dunroamin

It strikes me that the combination of someone with communication difficulties and texting is pretty lethal.

Springbean

You say that she does things for people. You sound like you may have expected a lift from the hospital and the appointment took longer than expected.

You then told her where you would prefer her to drop you off. You seem to have expected something and you are annoyed or have annoyed her by texting her too much.

top_drawer_2

Springbean wrote: »

You say that she does things for people. You sound like you may have expected a lift from the hospital and the appointment took longer than expected.

You then told her where you would prefer her to drop you off. You seem to have expected something and you are annoyed or have annoyed her by texting her too much.

Quite why someone with two broken wrists has bags of shopping is beyond me.

Nope. No expectations beyond those stated, definitely none on Tuesday. These are different situations you are referring too.

Maybe I did text her too much but would that really lead someone to think Oh I won't bother replying ...

I was injured - result two broken wrists. I attended another colleagues party (reasons already explained in last post) and so I had two smallish bags with me for my things. This was the easiest way to arrange things and I had a lift at the other end and as my preferred drop off wasn't far off her route didn't think this would be a problem.

Person_one

The main thing you got wrong here was leaving it too long after her 'what time' text. You should have replied much quicker, even if it was only to suggest a window rather than a specific time. If you'd done that, you'd both have started the next day with a firm plan and would probably have met up and had a nice chat and a coffee.

top_drawer_2

shegirl wrote: »

Look,I'm going to be blunt here.

Do you not think you may have annoyed her? Making her wait.Expecting such and such (clearly on more than one occasion). Pointlessly sending three 'chatty' consecutive texts while she was going to pick up her child (did you think to respond to her text with something like 'I can wait if you still want to meet?) which may have also made her think you were ok with not meeting-perhaps-along with irritating her. Then you continued to send more texts.Told her you were going home but would stop off somewhere her.

That is not normal. She may well be a friend who cares and tries to help you but get irritated and drained by your behaviour/lack of social skills

Possibly I've annoyed her and I do have a lack of social skills.

I didn't keep her waiting though - I suggested 1pm although she didn't reply "yeh, ok" "see you then" or whatever but I she also didn't say no, cant do or made an excuse....

Maybe chatty texts are pointless but I think I'm just being friendly/making conversation. I will keep it in mind for the future.

I kept it as light as possible in saying I'm heading home now ... no accusations/anger but then thought well if travelling is a problem then XX (where I need to stop off) may be nearer for her so I could salvage this.....

Maybe its not normal or its not your normal. Where does one learn normal? I know I am needy and have low s-e and a lack of social skils - I wonder too where one may learn these skills.

I don't know what's going on in her head and since I won't see her to have a "informal chat" I doubt I will find out. I hope it doesn't affect my progress with people at work as I have worked hard there.