Silly situation but a little upset about it.

kjmtidea

Person_one wrote: »

Trying to put this as gently as possible, but I think it might be worth looking into again.

Maybe speak to somebody on this helpline, just in case?

http://www.autism.org.uk/Our-services/Advice-and-information-services/Autism-Helpline.aspx

I've been wondering if I am on that magical spectrum somewhere, ever since my son started going through the process of being 'tested' for it, all the symptoms or lists sound very much like me, that's probably why I never realised there was an issue with my son :rotfl:

bestpud

I think the 11.15 text was saying she couldn't make coffee but she didn't spell it out.

If her child is 16 then she was possibly picking them up from an exam or something exam related. She may well have switched off her phone to talk to her child /other parents/teachers or just not picked up the texts for the same reason.

If I thought I'd declined coffee and then received several texts in a short space of time, including one getting a little antsy, I'd probably think it better to avoid further texts and to speak about it face to face next time I saw that person.

My guess is she didn't know how to handle the situation and probably wanted to avoid telling you to sod off.

All you can do is take what you've learnt from this and firm up arrangements next time.

She could do with being a bit more explicit with texts too so I don't think it is all your fault, but you definitely didn't help matters by bombarding her with texts and she is probably a bit freaked out now.

FWIW, as a driver, I find non-drivers can be very trying! What seems like nothing can be a right pain in he rear and I also find they don't always consider the impact of their chosen route once they've got out of the car. It's not only the route but traffic etc that we will be far more aware of.

I hope you can sort it between you when you next meet - it may just be a simple case of comparing notes, laughing at the comedy of errors and moving on.

Until then, try not to put thoughts in her head as you may be way off target with them.

seven-day-weekend

I frequently meet my friend for coffee. One of us will text and suggest a day. The other will either say yes or no, and if it's no suggest an alternative. If it is yes, will suggest a time or will say something like, 'great, will arrange time later' (and then do so later). We do not meet if there is no firm date/time arranged and agreed to by both of us.

I think the OP left it too late to arrange a firm time and by the time her friend got the text her friend had already made other arrangements. The friend's text saying she was picking her son up from school was her way of saying this.

If the OP is on the autistic spectrum, then this information about picking the son up from school would not mean to her that the friend could not come, it would just be a piece of unrelated information.

Basically the OP thought they had made an arrangement, the friend didn't and the OP didn't take her text as meaning that the friend wasn't coming.

As for saying where you want dropping off when being given a lift, then you either take what is offered or decline the lift altogether.

Hope it all sorts itself out.

LannieDuck

I think everyone's being a little unfair on the OP. As far as she was aware, she had an arrangement to meet this woman. The confusion over whether or not they had an appointment is both of their responsibilities, not just the OP's.

Then the other lady sends an unclear text (if she meant to say she couldn't make the meeting because she was picking up her son, she should have just said that), and then ignores the OP? I find that very rude. She must have known the OP was waiting for her because of the OP's texts - why not say something? Even if she was driving, she could have sent a text later on to apologise for the misunderstanding.

OP - I would do one of two things:

i) let it drop. Don't make plans with this woman again, and let the 'friendship' cool.
ii) when you next see her, ask her outright, e.g. "what happened on Monday - I thought we were meeting up?"

victory

http://www.aspergerstestsite.com/75/autism-spectrum-quotient-aq-test/#.UZ8mCrUU9zg

I really was going to mention aspergers last night but since then it has been mentioned and dismissed, still, no harm in taking the aspergers test see how you go, no harm:D

http://aspergerstest.net/

I know you say for yourself things are not like an aspie where they are black and white, I know you have said that but also there is a little niggly thought of mine that although you have been answering people's questions and putting your point across, you don't seem to entirely quite 'get it' what happened, why, the reactions, the understanding of how the other text came across, etc.

Please, honestly not attacking you as you have previously said you felt by posters, not at all, just there is a little bit of the process that you don't get.

kjmtidea

victory wrote: »

http://www.aspergerstestsite.com/75/autism-spectrum-quotient-aq-test/#.UZ8mCrUU9zg

I really was going to mention aspergers last night but since then it has been mentioned and dismissed, still, no harm in taking the aspergers test see how you go, no harm:D

http://aspergerstest.net/

I know you say for yourself things are not like an aspie where they are black and white, I know you have said that but also there is a little niggly thought of mine that although you have been answering people's questions and putting your point across, you don't seem to entirely quite 'get it' what happened, why, the reactions, the understanding of how the other text came across, etc.

Please, honestly not attacking you as you have previously said you felt by posters, not at all, just there is a little bit of the process that you don't get.

Cheers for that, I got 37 :cool:

victory

kjmtidea wrote: »

Cheers for that, I got 37 :cool:

37 out of...?

kjmtidea

victory wrote: »

37 out of...?

50. Apparently it means that it's highly likely I have asd.

cutestkids

top_drawer wrote: »

No she wasn't going out of her way. She wanted to drop me on her way to work at the bus stop. I said B would be better. I get your meaning and when people do it to me I often felt pushed but I'm beginning to realise I have as much right to say No as they have to ask. She said No and yes I was/am irritated as I feel its not too much to ask all things considered.

As I've said I struggle with making friends and tend to hang on to any I make as tight as I can.... its not healthly but I don't want to be alone. I feel that as she has made such a lot of friends in a short space of time at work that she must be right/there must be something I am missing.

The part in bold is enough to send anyone running in the other direction, it comes across as very needy and a bit strange to be honest

Rottensocks

top_drawer wrote: »

She is a work colleague and has proved to be really popular; the type that makes friends almost instantly (I've seen it) she is open, funny and somehow says the right thing at the right time and the person just naturally falls into conversation/freinding her on fb. Hence she is likely to be around a lot longer.

Ironically she often says at work that she feels irritated/annoyed by X insistence for something i.e for them to go out for the night, saying she would prefer to stay in. Awhile back she was saying another person we work with wanted picking up/dropping off (from a fair distance) so that she could borrow some clothes from her - the other person didn't drive either but she did it.

I'm not saying I want to take advantage too at all but am worried its me.

I don't think its you. If she's been the "popular" girl since school, she's unlikely to have worked out that proper friendship takes effort on both sides...and ultimately, as a result, she'll be a fairweather friend because of it.

When there have always been queues of [STRIKE]friends[/STRIKE] followers available since your school days, you don't have to bother your butt to do much to keep them sweet.