Silly situation but a little upset about it.

top_drawer_2

coolcait wrote: »

How can you possibly say even a fraction of that and not come across as confrontational?

You think you were messed around by her; she probably thinks she was messed around by you. You sent her a sarky message, yet still she is being friendly to you. Why would you want to cling on to your gripe, and then stir things up further?

As someone else said, go into work, smile, say 'Hi' and join in the general chitchat. If the 'missed meeting' is mentioned say with a smile "Wasn't that a mix-up!" and move on.

'Move on' would be my advice for the whole situation.

Why would I say a fraction of it? or any of it? I might have bad social skills but I would imagine looking at her interpetation of the situation would be best ....

I would go with something along the lines of, after saying "Hello... "We seemed to have encountered some crossed wires in meeting up? I was quite offended, you didn't respond to my texts" Someone else may have a better phrasing.

top_drawer_2

cutestkids wrote: »

I think it is more than likely a distant memory by now as far as your friend is concerned, I am sure that if she has a family etc then she will have much more to think about to be honest.

Just go to work and carry on as normal don't try so hard to get people to like you just be yourself.

I think you are probably worrying too much to be honest your friend probably did not really know that there was a big problem in the first place.

Yes it may well be... but I would like to avoid future instances particularly if there is any chance that I may decide to involve myself with her in the future, as she has become such a popular member of staff it will be difficult not too.

I would think that the final 2/3 texts were pretty clear that there was a problem, particularly -

I have done all my jobs that I need to do so I am going to head home now ... No response.

or the final one Glad ur ok, was quite annoyed when you just left me hanging around yesterday ... No response.

I do try to get people to like me, although I don't see how this would affect this situation really.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

top_drawer wrote: »

Why would I say a fraction of it? or any of it? I might have bad social skills but I would imagine looking at her interpetation of the situation would be best ....

I would go with something along the lines of, after saying "Hello... "We seemed to have encountered some crossed wires in meeting up? I was quite offended, you didn't respond to my texts" Someone else may have a better phrasing.

No. You say 'Hi' and if asked then say 'What a mix up' and laugh it off.

Why can't you just let it go?

CH27

top_drawer wrote: »

Yes it may well be... but I would like to avoid future instances particularly if there is any chance that I may decide to involve myself with her in the future, as she has become such a popular member of staff it will be difficult not too.

I would think that the final 2/3 texts were pretty clear that there was a problem, particularly -

I have done all my jobs that I need to do so I am going to head home now ... No response.

or the final one Glad ur ok, was quite annoyed when you just left me hanging around yesterday ... No response.

I do try to get people to like me, although I don't see how this would affect this situation really.

Stop obsessing about it.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

top_drawer wrote: »

I do try to get people to like me.

You trying to get people to like you means you come across as desperate. Just be yourself and stop trying to be everyone's friend.

Does anyone else you know work quite so hard at trying to get other people to like them?

top_drawer_2

I don't see it as trying to be liked, just as sorting out a mis-understanding/barrier between us.

kittiej

When you go into work just talk about your wrists and how well they are or aren't healing etc.

Perhaps she will be expecting you to say something so throw her off balance for a change and talk about yourself

coolcait

top_drawer wrote: »

Yes it may well be... but I would like to avoid future instances particularly if there is any chance that I may decide to involve myself with her in the future, as she has become such a popular member of staff it will be difficult not too.

I would think that the final 2/3 texts were pretty clear that there was a problem, particularly -

I have done all my jobs that I need to do so I am going to head home now ...

There is nothing in that message which indicates that there is a problem. There is nothing that requires a response. It is a message which gives your friend information - whether she wants it or not - about what you have done today so far, and what you are going to do now.

No response.

or the final one Glad ur ok, was quite annoyed when you just left me hanging around yesterday ...

That one indicates that there is a problem. Now. Your previous message gives absolutely no indication that you felt that you had been "left hanging around" - but now you're flinging that accusation at your friend. In my view, your friend has been extraordinarily patient with you. You should count yourself lucky that you didn't get a response to that text, especially the response which it deserved.

No response.

I do try to get people to like me, although I don't see how this would affect this situation really.

All that said, I stand by my earlier advice that you should simply let this go and move on.

cutestkids

I think you are just not understanding what people are trying to tell you here.

For most of us the incident that you describe really is no big deal, just part of daily life, I know that if I was the person involved and you came up to me a later date still saying how offended you were over a misunderstanding I would be inclined to walk away from any sort of friendship with you.
I don't say that to be mean just to make you see that perhaps your reactions to situations are not the same as most peoples.

You trying to get people to like you as others have said can have the opposite effect, it can come over as too pushy and make people likely to back away.

Hashing over something that appears to have been a very minor misunderstanding in most peoples eyes again will put people off.

There really is no point trying to make people like you they either will or they wont as people get to know each other over a period of time there is the potential for a proper friendship to develop but this will only happen if both people are true and honest to each other and themselves.

By trying to watch others and behave in a way that you do not find natural will only cause problems in all types of relationships with other people, we are at the end of the day who we are, to develop true friendships or for that matter any type of relationship we have to accept ourselves for who we are before we can expect others to.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

One of my friends didn't show to a pre arranged meet up last year. I texted several times and nothing.

Did I start a thread on it - no

Did I sit and stew - no I just read my book

Did I text some sarky response - no

I did say 'That's life' when she finally got in touch and I found out that it was the day that O2 had gone down and she was late getting her mother back from shopping.

Did I confront her when I next saw her - no I gave her a hug and she ranted about 02 for about 5 mins and we've never spoken about it since...because it's not even an issue.

I think if I'd had a go at her she would probably not want to meet up with me again.

That's what friends do - they give and take. You really need to deal with this and move on.