Silly situation but a little upset about it.

kjmtidea

Why didn't you just phone her, surely that would have saved your time?

~Chameleon~

Did you really expect her to be sitting around waiting for you to get back to her with a time? I should imagine she'd made other plans as you never got back to her. She did respond to tell you she was picking up her daughter when you finally texted her!

top_drawer_2

Maybe it is but seems to be standard practise - with this person too. Maybe I should say something along those lines ... I don't check my phone often but did respond well in time to follow through with it.

balletshoes

top_drawer wrote: »

I'm very unassertive and regularly get walked all over. But I didn't insist on being dropped at the bus station but when she said Oh I could drop you at X street on my way I said Oh well... such a place would be better, but what ever is convenient to you (trying not to be too pushy). When we were in the car she drove past such a place and dropped me further out at X street on route to work.

When I texted asking her if she fancied coffee she said Yes, definitely and I kept her informed as to where I was as I knew it would e unpredictable. Surely she must realise 3 buses is too much/expensive for a coffee to go to her house..... did she expect that? I think that would be overstepping the line in how much to expect of someone tbh.

I think this is all down to miscommunication - did you not attempt to phone her instead of texting, after you got no response and especially since she'd said yes, definitely, to meeting up with you after your hospital appointment?

It may be she had something come up, it may be that she just couldn't be bothered and thats why she didn't reply, but a phone call could have cleared that up a lot more than texting and fbing?

shegirl

top_drawer wrote: »

Yesterday I arranged to meet a friend for coffee - there was quite a bit of travelling involved but I had to go anyway as I had a appointment to attend.

I suggested a time and she didn't disagree. I had been waiting for my appointment for an hour and texted her saying I didn't think it would be much longer ... she replied she was collecting X from school (who is approx 16). I replied with a chatty text asking how things had gone for her in an exam - no response. I had my appointment and left the hospital, texted her asking her where/what time she wanted to meet.... Nothing.

An hour later I texted saying I was going home as I had [STRIKE]wasted enough time waiting around[/STRIKE] done everything I needed to do, then that I was stopping off at X which I thought maybe closer to her. Nothing. Nothing on facebook either all day. I know she has issues so I texted saying Hope your ok. Nothing. The following day I texted to say "Glad ur ok. Was worried when you disappeared and left me hanging around yesterday." No response. I feel quite upset about it as it seems to come down to that she didn't want to drive to me, although I cant work out why she figured I would take yet another bus (3rd in the day, and again on the return) for the sake of a coffee t go directly to her house. I hate not being able to drive.

She is posting on fb, has been on chat (time shows up on browser) but no response.

I'm worried I've done something wrong but am confused as to what as she stopping texting when it was apparent that she would need to travel into town to meet me (she lives a fair way out and miles away from the hospital).

I've stopped with this person for 2 nights (to attend work colleagues events) and the other thread re subject has set me wondering whether I've overstepped the mark somewhere. She has been unwilling in the past to go out of her way for me i.e when I visited she had to go to work later and I was hoping she would drop me off within walking distance of the bus station (not in it as that involves driving right into the centre). She didn't exactly refuse but sort of avoided it, dropping me near a bus stop on her route to work.

However, I have thought in the past that I would be best not to depend on this person although I couldn't work out why. She is fairly new colleague but has proved really popular at work and everyone seems to think she is great.

I'm not sure how to handle it.

Hang on a minute...

You didn't bother responding to her text asking what time until 10am the following day.

You say 'she didn't disagree'. That sounds like she didn't agree either.

You then text after your appointment telling her you were finished and she told you she was picking up her child from school.

Does that sound like she had an agreed plan to meet you?No.

You then sent further messages (including one while she was possibly driving to collect her child or getting ready to) and expected responses and her to come running?

No offence,but she was collecting her child and there was no firm plan.The poor woman has nothing wrong and is probably irritated with you for A. Not bothering to arrange things in time and B. Then expecting her to be at your beck and call.

balletshoes

top_drawer wrote: »

Because its not the meeting of the great minds or anything ..... just a coffee. I was worried about setting a time and being late due to the clinic just basically being a drop-in.

I'm upset she didn't respond at all. Nothing.

Even "I've made other plans" "I'm comfortable on the sofa now so lets leave it today"

again - I would have firmed up (by text if you must although phone would have been better) far earlier than Tuesday that 1pm would be good, and if you were going to be held up you'd call her.

paulineb_2

I read that she didnt actually pick the text up straight away as she had a new phone.

*max*

I agree with above. You had no definite plan, you didn't bother to reply with a time until the day after she asked you, so she must have assumed it was off. Then on the day, you tell her "I won't be much longer at the appointment", which can be understood as mere chatting, not an expectation you are to meet. She tells you she's collecting her son, which means she would be going back home. Then you you mention that "she left you hanging around"...

I'd have been mighty annoyed at you if I were her too. You assume too much from a relationship that frankly doesn't sound that close anyway! Is she a work colleague?

I think it was all way too vague. You need to work on your communication if you want to keep friendly relationships with people you don't know very well, and not just assume as if you knew them inside out.

bagpussbear

top_drawer wrote: »

lol no I texted her Sunday saying I had an appointment at the hospital on Tuesday, did she fancy a coffee?

She said Yeh, definitely .... what time? I replied on Tuesday how about 1pm, you choose where. She replied at 11 ish that she had a new phone and had just got my text. I said "No problem, figured you were enjoying your days off"

Ah I see, sorry I misunderstood!

Mmm .... I think what's happened is this - she probably thought you'd text straight back with a time suggestion, which you didn't do until the Tuesday at 10am, by which time she might have thought it was no longer happening as you hadn't been in touch. So she made other plans eg. picking up her son. So when you did text, that was her way of saying to you she's already made other plans in the absence of not hearing anything sooner. The fact she didn't reply back any more, seems to indicate she was irritated.

I do think you should have texted back sooner, but I also think it rude of her to ignore you, knowing you were waiting for her specifically.

Sorry your day didn't turn out well, hope you can both work it out

*max*

bagpussbear wrote: »

Ah I see, sorry I misunderstood!

Mmm .... I think what's happened is this - she probably thought you'd text straight back with a time suggestion, which you didn't do until the Tuesday at 10am, by which time she might have thought it was no longer happening as you hadn't been in touch. So she made other plans eg. picking up her son. So when you did text, that was her way of saying to you she's already made other plans in the absence of not hearing anything sooner. The fact she didn't reply back any more, seems to indicate she was irritated.

I do think you should have texted back sooner, but I also think it rude of her to ignore you, knowing you were waiting for her specifically.

Sorry your day didn't turn out well, hope you can both work it out

You're so much nicer than me!