Affair, can't forget

Pixiechic

A lot of the 'doubters' have actively encouraged women to leave their partners having only had information from one side.

The difference that I can see is that they were women.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

SuzieSue wrote: »

Don't worry OP, this happens all the time on threads like yours. All the honest, decent OPs are accused of lying. I have said this many times on several threads (although for some reason the Mods keeping deleting my posts or they delete the whole thread so you can't see them), but a lot of the people on here are very nasty indeed.

I really feel for you because as far as I can see, you have been totally honest throughout (why on earth would you feel you needed to lie to a group of strangers?).

Anyway, please don't be upset and please believe me that I have written this at least half a dozen times in the last few months when an honest OP has been accused of lying.

I would have actually been more surprised if you hadn't been accused of lying.

Pray tell; what gives you the unseeing eye that determines whether an OP is decent and honest or not? Surely you read the exact same information that others read? Or are you hired to automatically go to the defence of people who are accused of lying - as you sure don't seem to give out any actual advice - you do nothing more than leaping to people's defence and calling everyone else on a thread nasty.

waccoe_2

ecgirl07 wrote: »

Whats the balance of your marriage these days - how much time do you spend together that you can called quality time?

We have plenty of time together if we want to but just at the moment things are not great so we seem to be choosing to avoid each other.
The matters will need confronting at some point but I just feel I need some more counselling sessions to get a better understanding of both her point of view and my own.

scooby088

OP I would say that you counsellor should never pass judgement on your relationship and should never take sides even though you are paying for their time. They offer suggestions but never tell you to do anything.

When I was in counselling for my anger issues I came to the conclusions myself all the counsellor gave me was the tools to recognise the triggers and how to effectively deal with them.

In the end OP it is you that is going to be effected by any of your decisions you have a lot of choices to make and a lot of organising to do whether it being on your own or with your wife. I would concentrate on those at the moment rather than putting in any stock what is being said on here.

scooby088

waccoe wrote: »

I will say it again, Scooby, I hope you don't think that applies to my postings?

No way at all.

paulineb_2

waccoe wrote: »

Hi paulineb
I appreciate the number of times you have posted on this thread, I will be honest with you, I haven't responded because I dont agree with most of what you have said.
I can see how it looks that I haven't mentioned any voilence before now but it never felt that important. Her words hurt me far more than a punch or a kick could ever do.

Im quite aware you havent responded because you havent agreed with most of what I have said. Thats your perogative.

From a point of view of someone posting on here (and taking time out to give someone a perspective on a matter, throughout the thread youve responded to the people you agreed with and ignored people like me who you dont agree with).

I wish you well and I sincerely do hope you sort matters out, but I think probably it would be better for me to exit this thread so you can get on communicating with the points of view of posters that you do agree with.

And while this whole nice v nasty posters is being made an issue of yet again.

Also, I agree with poet, Id have massive alarm bells ringing if a counsellor made some of the comments they have made to you about your wife and I do hope you actually get some information/advice about what counselling ethics are or should be.

Because being neutral is important, in 6 months time if you do leave your wife and you think its a massive mistake, you might turn round and blame your counsellor by saying "she told me my wife was a bully".

A good counsellor will let people work through their own issues and make their own minds up about the situation, not try and influence their thinking on a matter or a person.

Pixiechic

This all depends on what type of 'counsellor' Waccoe is seeing.

poet123

SuzieSue wrote: »

Don't worry OP, this happens all the time on threads like yours. All the honest, decent OPs are accused of lying. I have said this many times on several threads (although for some reason the Mods keeping deleting my posts or they delete the whole thread so you can't see them), but a lot of the people on here are very nasty indeed.

I really feel for you because as far as I can see, you have been totally honest throughout (why on earth would you feel you needed to lie to a group of strangers?).

Anyway, please don't be upset and please believe me that I have written this at least half a dozen times in the last few months when an honest OP has been accused of lying.

I would have actually been more surprised if you hadn't been accused of lying.

And you really can't see why this keeps happening?

This is a forum and even if you do not agree with a certain poster provided they couch their words civilly they are entitled to put their view of the issue. To label those who disagree with you as "nasty" is childish in the extreme. It would appear that the mods concur with this which is why your posts are removed.

SuzieSue

paulineb wrote: »

Why do you have to go round threads telling people that other people on here are nasty? Theres already been one thread deralied this week with numerous posts removed, including ones that were perfectly polite because you seem to be on a mission to brand certain people nasty just because they dont agree with every single thing an OP says in their posts.

You actually have no idea whether someone is being honest, dishonest or anything in the middle and I strongly object to being labelled nasty by you (as I was in another thread because you pointed the finger at everyone who didnt agree with someone). I dont make offensive posts to anyone on here.

It is not your job to police threads and tell people they are nasty. It derails the thread and at times it just looks like pot stirring.

And in my view it damages the thread far more than people who disagree and then discuss why.

If you don't believe the OP, stop reading the thread. What is so difficult about that?

Pixiechic

Waccoe, may I ask,

Was your holiday booked recently or a while ago and by who?