How can I fix this?

tayforth

Is he home yet, OP? xxx

tayforth

OP - please let us know that you are ok.

amyloofoo

Thinking of you OP, you've been very strong and have made a decision to keep yourself and your children safe... please stick to your guns.

Anon34

.............

tayforth

What time do they go to bed?

heartbreak_star

*hugs*

Remember - strong!!

HBS x

amyloofoo

Anon34 wrote: »

Hi

Yeah he's home.
Acting like nothing's happened, not sure if he's just waiting to talk to me when kids are asleep, no idea, again he's on the pc.

We shall see what the night holds

I don't understand why he's able to be at home on the PC after you've asked him to leave. You need to make it clear that the only time he spends in your house from now on is to pack his bags. I know that sounds harsh, and you have children there which isn't ideal, but how exactly do you envisage things changing if he's allowed to pretend nothing's happened? I can understand that you may be scared, but is there no-one who would be able to visit and give you some support or to look after the children?

ETA: I'm sorry, I know what I've written sounds blunt and I really don't want to upset you any more than you already are. I can just envisage a situation where he uses the children's presence (whether awake or not) to force you to back down. I don't know that waiting will change that :grouphug: However mean what I've said sounds, I honestly just want you and your children to be safe, and I think the best way to do that is to get him out of your house (and life) as soon as possible.

BitterAndTwisted

Why don't you start packing his !!!!!! while he's on the computer and before the kids are in bed?

Leaving it any later and there could be nowhere for him to go. And then it will be another day. And then yet another. All the while he's secretly thinking that you've somehow changed your mind, or could have it changed for you.

Anon34

.............

tayforth

I wouldn't have stayed in the same house as my ex once I told him that it was over. It was either him or me (rented house) but one of us was leaving that night. I wouldn't have felt safe being under the same roof.

Thankfully, he left when I asked him to.


Once you make it clear that it's over, that means that he's lost control of you. And that can be the most dangerous time. That's not anecdotal, it's a statistical fact. In most cases where women are murdered by their partner, it happens at the point when the woman is trying to leave the relationship.

I don't mean to scare you, but please consider your safety and that of your children.