How can I fix this?

BitterAndTwisted

Abusers and controllers often step up their abuse if they get an inkling that they are losing control of the ones they are abusing. I implore you to be very, very wary of what may happen when he returns home. I DO NOT want to read about you in the papers tomorrow!

Anon34

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Pechow

Edit: You responded while I was writing-I hope it is as simple as that. I wish you and your daughter all the best, keep us updated!

Anon34

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paulineb_2

Anon34 wrote: »

He's agreed we should split. Surprisingly easy actually. Frees him up I suppose.

Frees you up.

Give yourself a HUGE pat on the back for actually emailing him and telling him to leave

And dont waver, do not change your mind on this one, set a strict timescale as to when he has to be out of your home and stick to it

And THEN, if you drink, buy yourself the biggest bottle of sparkly something and crack it open and raise a toast to your new life.

You seriously deserve better than this. No one should put up with years of abuse from someone who claims to love them.

Anon34

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BitterAndTwisted

I fear that he's trying to distract you from his real plan of action by appearing to accept your suggestion that he leaves. Please, do not trust what he has said. And do not trust that he will just pack his bags and leave this evening because I don't think that he will.

I also fear that you might be putting yourself in very grave danger if you are alone at home with him once he returns. If you can't have someone else there with you, police or friends or anyone else, I suggest very strongly indeed that you leave and take your children with you to spend the night elsewhere.

paulineb_2

Anon34 wrote: »

It doesn't feel like a good thing. I feel worse than when we are arguing.

Do you actually want to spend the next amount of years living with someone who abuses you, who pushes and shoves you, who belittles you, who abuses your kid.

Do you really really want this life for yourself

Or do you want a magic wand and wake up one day to find hes turned into a really nice person?

You will have a lot of feelings to work through, but if you cant see that you are better off without this person, hopefully in time you will do

Anon34

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paulineb_2

Anon34 wrote: »

He has now emailed saying I'm the one causing this but saying I don't love him. All me again. I may go stay at my brothers

I think thats a good idea, but be careful about leaving him in your house.

If you leave, ask him to leave as well and change the locks so no harm can come to anything in your home, neither do you want to come back and find out hes changed the locks on you