How can I fix this?

Anon34

................

balletshoes

you can't fix this.
Its not all your fault.
Separate so you can both live a life that you can't live together.

For your sanity, you need to get away from this poisonous excuse for a man.

victory

Why would you want to fix this?

It's not your problem, not your fault, you deserve more, you should aim for more.

Richard53

His behaviour is unspeakably selfish and immature. It's also creepy and definitely not normal. He has a problem, a big problem, and none of it is your fault.

If I were in your position, I would be leaving on the next train.

Anon34

............

gibson123

He's a nasty manipulative toxic person.

HOW DARE HE

Say it's your fault that he looks at pictures of naked women and is disrespectful to women

Compare you unfavourably to his ex.

Complain about you being boring in bed, but not suggesting constructive ways to get better together

Make you feel unattractive after you have had a baby

Makes you feel like a bad mother

Wishes you dead

Your relationship is in serious trouble, you are suffering emotional abuse and you need to have a frank conversation with him. You cannot stay in this relationship unless he agrees to change, that's what you need to tell him and if he won't you must make plans to get out of it with as little damage to you and your children as possible.

Good luck

bagpussbear

Advice? get out of the relationship. End of. He is a dirtball, and you and your daughter deserve much better.

Sorry to be blunt. I don't think your depression will ever lift being with someone that is so very disrespectful to you.

SmarterNotHarder

Anon34 wrote: »

Hi

I must add I can't be easy to live with although my depression is now 80% better.

Thanks

Seriously???????

You were/are unwell. You wouldn't be apologising for breaking your leg would you?

His behaviour is at best disrespectful, and at worst abusive. Actually scrap that, telling *anyone* that they should kill themselves is abusive.

He is manipulating you, cheating on you mentally and emotionally if not physically and then somehow making you believe that this is your fault!

If he's that fed up of your relationship, you'd think he'd leave. The reason he doesn't is because he likes having that hold over you. He knows which side his bread's buttered. Especially if you don't stand up for yourself, your needs and your self respect.

I understand that you might love him, after all apart from anything he is the father of your kids. But do you like him? Is there anything positive you get from your relationship? Belittling your way of parenting is just a way of ensuring you remain dependant on him and make yourself believe that you need him.

Are you married to him? Do you own your home or do you rent? these things may be relevant to what you do next.

I'm sorry, I can't answer your question of how you fix it, mostly because I can't see anyway you can change your behaviour that would make him change his. My gut reaction is to tell you to throw him out. but that, I realise is probably unhelpful. What I would advise is that you talk to one (or all) of the domestic violence charities. It's not just about physical violence. This man is taking advantage of your vulnerability.

Do you want your children to grow up thinking this is how you treat people you love?

Sorry, couldn't read and run. and I apologise for the rant.

Toothfairy4

Wow. What a disgusting excuse for a man he is, how dare he make you feel like this! As for taking pictures of random women, what a creep.

Get out. Now!

I hope you can realise you are truely worth much more than he will ever know, he has obviously ground you down to this and it is time to get away from him and get your confidence back.

balletshoes

Anon34 wrote: »

I must add I think we have been intimate about 3 times in the past year, mainly due to my depression but also I can't bring myself to be near someone who I know thinks about me like he does.
But it could be a reason he behaves the way he does.
In a text argument he told me his behaviour is caused by me. No other reason.
Maybe we should seperate if we can't make each other happy

I bet you anything you like thats not the reason he behaves the way he does.

You are not to blame for the way he behaves. You are not.

mumonashoestring

If he can't provide you with an environment in which you feel safe being intimate with him then why should you? I haven't seen anything in either of your posts which suggests any reasons why *you* think your relationship is worth saving. Are there any? Or are you trying to fix him as opposed to trying to fix your relationship?

I have to say based on what you've posted I'd be out of there...