Sometimes struggling with sense of loneliness and isolation; anyone else?

Cloudydaze

I completely understand where you are coming from as I feel the same.

I've not long come out of a relationship. I do miss not having someone to hangout with at weekends. I find it tiring that now I have to make plans with friends one or two months in advance otherwise I spend the weekend alone.

I was also made redundant a month ago which has made my situation almost unbearable. With no job & living alone, I find myself desperately lonely at times.

Whilst suggestions of running groups & meet ups are well meaning, it's not always an easy solution. I do a number of group based activities which keep me busy for an hour or so but I've not really made any 'proper' friends out of them. Its not that im socially inept or that they're not nice people but making friends, I mean real friends isn't always that easy.

justme111

Yea you are not alone. I have a child and my dad stays with me most of the time but i still know that lonely gripping feeling all too well. If your friends have kids they still can perfectly spend time with you when those are in bed or go out. Or even doing a BBQ during day time. if you had that good circle of friends you would not have felt lonely, that's my guess.
Another consideration may be that human being mat be meant to live with/have a significant other so that's just the way it is for people who do not.

wildswans

Yes, absolutely; thank you for understanding! Unfortunately, when you try to explain what you are feeling to people, they misunderstand and start to tell you things that they think you should be doing. It has happened on this thread, despite me explaining that I am not actually short of things to do, people seem to think "I feel lonely" equates to "I am bored." They are not the same things!

justme111

Haha the irony of it is that I for example do not even have time to engage in additional activities ! Lonely feeling is there still. I think people who suggested what to do for you meant an activity as a mean to get some human interaction.

mountainofdebt

I know this may be a bit of a curve ball suggestion but have you thought about getting a pet such as a cat (not that I'm suggesting you become the mad cat woman you understand!)

I know you won't be able to have a two way conversation but at least there would be another beating heart in the house - which I think would go some way to solving the problem

wildswans

Mountain, I already have two cats, thank you though I am afraid you are right, though, it ISN'T the same as human company.

Yes, absolutely re activities, however it is all set against the context of an empty house and with the best will in the world, arranging to fill ALL of my free time with activities is perhaps unrealistic!

mountainofdebt

Have you thought about a lodger? if you don't want a full time lodger then there are sites for people offering rooms on monday to friday basis. Alterntively there are sites where you can rent out a room on as and when it suits you basis

justme111

Get a gipsy family in , then after you manage to get them out you will love the empty house till the end of your days ::D

justme111

My guess would be that you go through some type of a crisis , any strong experience may help to see life in different light. You may want to read a thread about how good it is to be alone in ones house , its about a month or two long on this forum . If you leave in south west you are welcome to pop in to mine for a cuppa . Another idea - you may want to visit a big family house with a couple of generations living under one roof , arguments and shouting at kids, then coming back to yours would feel like a blessing.

Counting_Pennies_2

I wonder if it is a case of feeling unfulfilled? It sounds to me there is a missing piece to your life.

People suggesting you do things is more than likely a way to help you find that piece of the jigsaw that is missing. Taking up a fulfilling hobby would hopefully reduce this lonely feeling