Visitor etiquette

valk_scot

notanewuser wrote: »

In fairness, you're travelling to Cardiff where theres lots to do (its my hometown). We're going to Yorkshire, where there is fook all.

We go to Yorkshire quite a lot for odd holidays like long weekends or a week, the kids love it. Tons of things to do, great people, lovely place. it's a four hour drive for us too but we keep on going back, we've not run out of things to do yet. If you can't find something there to suit two adults and a two year old you must be wearing blinkers. Get onto the Yorkshire tourist board site or go into one of their lovely tourist information offices, they'll soon sort you out.

valk_scot

notanewuser wrote: »

She's not ill. She's had a nasty chest infection in the past 2 weeks. She's back at nursery now etc. The weather here is appalling - cold and wet. The same is forecast up there. I don't want her standing in the cold and wet when she's only just better. I thought that was a sensible parental decision?

She'll be coming with us to see the baby, but I suspect she'll be more interested in playing with her 20 month old cousin.

if your DD has a chest infection that's still troublesome enough that she can't safely go outside, you really shouldn't be taking her to see a newborn.

jinty271

Perhaps the measure of your welcome is proportionate to your obvious disdain for the area, and the "breeding program" currently being undertaken there.


It might not be your husband, or your daughter, that they seem to be deliberately avoiding.


Just sayin'

jellyhead

notanewuser wrote: »

Gran lives in a mobile black spot. We've tried dongles, tethering, hacking the neighbours' wifi, everything. I have to divert my mobile to her landline when we go there in case anybody needs to contact me. Because of client requirements, he can't work in public places like hotel lounges or coffee shops.

DD does remember her cousins. She talks about them between visits and they're now making an appearance in her pretend play.

I looked at Sheffield, but they were all outdoor places or softplay.

Your daughter might find soft play more enjoyable if she has her little cousin to play with?

I've been to Sheffield once. I remember enjoying Magna, but we had older children, and I think baby was around a year. He loved the big park that was across the road iirc. They also had a soft play where you could pay around a fiver and stay for hours. It was huge and had little cars and other activities, it wasn't just soft play.

I can see why you're miffed, but one brother and his family are staying around to see you, and you might enjoy taking the cousin out for the day. Butterflies sound fun

notanewuser

jinty271 wrote: »

Perhaps the measure of your welcome is proportionate to your obvious disdain for the area, and the "breeding program" currently being undertaken there.


It might not be your husband, or your daughter, that they seem to be deliberately avoiding.


Just sayin'

I don't have distain for the area - my ex years ago was from Bradford.

As for the "breeding programme", my earlier threads refer. 3 BIL and SILs have had 5 children in 21 months. That's quite some rate, don't you think?

There have been so many things that have pi55ed me off about them over the years, which I've ignored. But their treatment of my DD leaves me with a very bitter taste in my mouth, and gives me little reason to make an effort with them.

notanewuser

valk_scot wrote: »

if your DD has a chest infection that's still troublesome enough that she can't safely go outside, you really shouldn't be taking her to see a newborn.

She's fine. But I don't want her outside in the cold and the wind and rain ALL DAY. I'm still recovering myself (5 weeks on) and I don't want to be out in it all day either. As DH hasn't caught anything from either of us I'm sure the baby will be fine.

notanewuser

valk_scot wrote: »

We go to Yorkshire quite a lot for odd holidays like long weekends or a week, the kids love it. Tons of things to do, great people, lovely place. it's a four hour drive for us too but we keep on going back, we've not run out of things to do yet. If you can't find something there to suit two adults and a two year old you must be wearing blinkers. Get onto the Yorkshire tourist board site or go into one of their lovely tourist information offices, they'll soon sort you out.

I can see there's stuff to do, but a huge proportion is outdoors or too old for DD and its all so far away!!! That's my gripe!!

embob74

Tropical World is lovely and kept my boy amused when he was 2.
If you go make sure you have layers on though as it's humid and well...tropical in temperature.
Eureka in Halifax is always popular with the little ones but gets busy.
Does Sheffield have an ice rink? They have special skates for young children which are more stable.
Hope you enjoy your time with the newborn at least. It may be better with no other family about and not being tied to having to do the 'visits'.

paulineb_2

notanewuser wrote: »

I can see there's stuff to do, but a huge proportion is outdoors or too old for DD and its all so far away!!! That's my gripe!!

I agree that you havent been treated well, but as other people have said, you have the choice to stay home or go and make the best of it.

Its one weekend and I appreciate that youve been let down, badly, but you have choices and if I were you I would start by having some frank discussion with your partner about how horrible this all is for you

Its really not good enough just to say,thats the way they are.

How many kids people have or dont have is entirely up to them.
In times gone by when people didnt have as much money or as much choice, Im sure people still managed to entertain themselves

Its going to be as good a weekend as you make it to be fair.
I live in the back of beyond, but theres always something you can find to do that doesnt cost the earth.

valk_scot

notanewuser wrote: »

She's fine. But I don't want her outside in the cold and the wind and rain ALL DAY. I'm still recovering myself (5 weeks on) and I don't want to be out in it all day either. As DH hasn't caught anything from either of us I'm sure the baby will be fine.

Babies don't have a fully developed immune system at that age, even if they're being breastfed. There's no comparison between the immune system of an adult person in good health and that of a new born. Plus there's a certain degree of resistance to each other's germs within a family who lives together. It's really not recommended to allow strangers with active infections (and for the purpose of this arguement, you are geographical strangers) to get too close to newborns, certainly not to touch, hold or kiss them. I'm sure you'd have felt pretty upset if your inlaws had turned up when your daughter was two weeks old and they were still coughing away from a persistant chest infection. Respiratory infections can be really dangerous for small babies.