Existing, not living (Life)

securityguy

ceebeeby wrote: »

Yes, our income is too high to allow her to qualify for student loan

There is a £4500 per year non-income assessed loan. Why isn't she taking it? £4500 pounds per year over three years (and, presumably, the same again for your 16 year old) would massively change your financial, and therefore your domestic, position. What makes you think your daughter isn't entitled to this loan?

19lottie82

ceebeeby wrote: »

Yes, our income is too high to allow her to qualify for student loan

Every student in Scotland is entitled to a basic student loan, no matter their parents income. There is an additional "top up loan" that is means tested, but the basic part isn't.

ceebeeby

rpc wrote: »

Any student in Scotland can get a loan. There is a non-income assessed loan of £4,500. See the table on page 6 http://www.saas.gov.uk/_forms/funding_guide.pdf

19lottie82 wrote: »

Every student in Scotland is entitled to a basic student loan, no matter their parents income. There is an additional "top up loan" that is means tested, but the basic part isn't.

Thanks for keeping me right. The student loan rules have very recently changed in Scotland.

Up until June 2013, she's not entitled to a full loan - at present she gets something along the lines of £80 per month during term time which pays for her photocopying, hand-outs, lab materials etc. She has a part-time job that pays a further £80 per month for her going out money. I pay for the remainder (travel, books, food, accom, clothes etc.) although she contributes whatever she can.

From September 2013, the rules have changed and all students can obtain a 'full-loan' of up to £450 per month. Once she receives this, with her part-time job, she is hoping to move into a shared house with other students.

Hope this explains properly.

ceebeeby

rpc wrote: »

Your ex is quite happy to continue controlling your life and having most of the house to live in while you get a single room. Refusing to let you move on or live happily is not amicable.

My head is so far buried in the sand it taking a while to see the sunshine.

Also, I'm not convinced that I'm as squeaky clean in this as you are making me feel ... I do 'put up' with a lot - but he says he does too.

I don't do much house-work anymore. I do kids bits and bobs and keep things like kitchen and bathrooms clean, and sort out shopping and meals - but that's it (other than an occasional dust and hoover). And, I have a mouth on me which isn't slow at letting him know when he's crossed the line.

Calling me a "f***in c**t" in front of the children means I won't make him packed lunch for a week. Does that count as standing up for myself.

OMG - I've just read that back! :eek: That's so not okay is it!!:o

gizmo111

ceebeeby wrote: »

My head is so far buried in the sand it taking a while to see the sunshine.

Also, I'm not convinced that I'm as squeaky clean in this as you are making me feel ... I do 'put up' with a lot - but he says he does too.

I don't do much house-work anymore. I do kids bits and bobs and keep things like kitchen and bathrooms clean, and sort out shopping and meals - but that's it (other than an occasional dust and hoover). And, I have a mouth on me which isn't slow at letting him know when he's crossed the line.

Calling me a "f***in c**t" in front of the children means I won't make him packed lunch for a week. Does that count as standing up for myself.

OMG - I've just read that back! :eek: That's so not okay is it!!:o

Why are you even making his lunch? Let alone stopping for a week as a punishment??
Why are you bothered about his career? - What is yours?
what does he do around the house?
He says he puts with a lot - so what, you are unhappy, your children are unhappy and subjected to a stream of emotional abuse and seemingly other arguments.
You need to get out and sort finances later.
Ring Womens Aid.

Netwizard

ceebeeby wrote: »

Calling me a "f***in c**t" in front of the children means I won't make him packed lunch for a week. Does that count as standing up for myself.

OMG - I've just read that back! :eek: That's so not okay is it!!:o

I realise its easy for me to say as im not in your situation, but you need to get out now. I wouldn't speak to my worst enemies like that let alone my partner infront of the kids. :eek:

busiscoming2

What a really dreadful situation. It can't be easy for any of you. I feel for the children having to grow up in this situation (not getting at you OP)

So are your debts paid off completely in 2017?

ceebeeby

gizmo111 wrote: »

Why are you even making his lunch?

Easy enough to do when I'm doing mine and kids - saves further rants and rages

Why are you bothered about his career?

He's still got a child he adores - and I don't want to see him on the streets.

what does he do around the house?

Dusting, hoovering, his own laundry and the garden

I do come across as very lazy for putting up with it all, but to be honest, it's just to avoid further rants / rages

ceebeeby

busiscoming2 wrote: »

I feel for the children having to grow up in this situation QUOTE]

Yours is the million dollar post that hit the bulls-eye

:(:(:(:(

I just want life to change enough, so that they can see that "Mum and Dad" is not normal, and so that they NEVER for a single second think about settling for something akin to what I have.

gizmo111

I just want life to change enough, so that they can see that "Mum and Dad" is not normal, and so that they NEVER for a single second think about settling for something akin to what I have.

Well only you can change it , and making them live it for a another 4 years over money when it can be sorted long before then is just madness.