Existing, not living (Life)

gizmo111

ceebeeby wrote: »

I see what you're saying, but I would be worried that with bad credit, even if temporary, I wouldn't be able to rent.

You will be able to rent, don't worry, you can prepare for that in the next few months.
In the alternative you are seriously suggesting that you live like this for another 4 years to pay debt?
Can you afford the house by yoursel if you were alone? Would you even want to stay there?
Post on the DFW board as it is now and if you were alone and post a link to that thread here - you'll be amazed at the suggestions and options you get to start your life and that of your children in a matter of months - not years.

Take Care x

Toto

Oh my goodness what a horrible situation you're in. But, there is always a way out if you are prepared for a bit of a bumpy ride. Personally I'd prefer to go and rent a house then walk into court on Monday morning and declare myself bankrupt than stay living a horrible existence. But, if nothing else you really need to get advice as the others have said.

It sounds to me as if hubby likes to have control, you need to find it within yourself to snatch that back. You only get one life, do something for yourself and start to live it.

Spendless

Why will the situation change in 2017?

ceebeeby

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

does lack of student loan mean you're supporting her completely apart from her 'going out' money? Is that really sustainable?

it may be different in Scotland, but if they choose to go to Uni, they need to work out how to pay for it, IMO. If that involves student loans, why not?

Yes, our income is too high to allow her to qualify for student loan

ceebeeby

Spendless wrote: »

Why will the situation change in 2017?

Large loans repaid.

If all my debts were cleared I could afford to live here myself. I'd rather start somewhere new though.

dancingfairy

How much would it cost you to rent a house privately through a landlord? Could you afford this if you stopped paying your other debts (or just paid them a token amount each month)? Paying debts is very honourable and the right thing to do but you need to keep a roof over your head and live in a place where you feel safe and not bullied first.
Have you spoken to someone like womens aid? I know that in some circumstances in England you'd get housing benefit ifyou are escaping an abusive relationshoip so maybe check it out with them?
df

peachyprice

Could you not take a payment holiday on all or some of debts for a couple of months, long enough for you to get together a deposit for a rented house? If you do it this way it shouldn't effect your credit file, but would give you breathing space and the means to escape hell.

You could then move out, sell the house and make reduced payments on the debts until you get your equity to pay them off.

It may prolong your debt free date, but you would be living again.

ceebeeby

Given career, I'd prefer to avoid BR. Also, it would ruin OHs career entirely, and I'd rather try as much as poss to remain amicable / agreeable.

I'm definitely happy to look into house sale, but will need to wait it out here until its sold. Once sold, I agree that debt will be much more manageable, eventually allowing for re-buy in future.

Thanks again for advice.

rpc

ceebeeby wrote: »

I'd rather try as much as poss to remain amicable / agreeable.

From your description, you are past the amicable stage. Your ex is quite happy to continue controlling your life and having most of the house to live in while you get a single room. Refusing to let you move on or live happily is not amicable.

It isn't the usual way of doing things, but speak to some solicitors and ask if you can defer payment of all advertising until the sale completes. They may still take you on, but could charge a little more. If you don't ask, you won't get. the worst they can do is say "no".

Any student in Scotland can get a loan. There is a non-income assessed loan of £4,500. See the table on page 6 http://www.saas.gov.uk/_forms/funding_guide.pdf

sallysaver

tayforth wrote: »

Is the additional £40k debt all yours? What are the debts? Credit cards? Loans?

Hi Tayforth,
I have inadvertently caught the 'spam' button when clicking onto the next page and for this error, I am truly sorry. Sally