Existing, not living (Life)

ceebeeby

just a quick post as he's "going off on one" tonight. Just been reminded that I'm still a fat ugly sxxt.

I basically ignored him and let him rant about my uselessness for 5 minutes without making any response, and now he's gone away and left me in peace.

Reminder to self - dont ask him for ANYTHING, regardless of who or what it's for!!

No, I haven't had any legal advice yet. Ready for flames now! Until you've walked in these constantly hurting / painful shoes, you won't get why not.

Off to eat a cake now, to prove him right!

Brighton_belle

Nobody is going to flame you ceebee - people understand this is a very difficult situation and if it had been that simple, you would have done it before. Urging you to get legal help is about caring for you and pushing you out of concern and to keep helping you 'get there'.
Well done for ignoring his latest outburst.

ceebeeby

Thank you BB x

tayforth

(((ceebeeby))) - I am sending you massive hugs. You're going through such a crappy time right now, but we are all thinking of you and willing you to get through it.

Your ex is a horrible, nasty bully. You are definitely doing the right thing by taking steps to get away from him. And you *will* escape from that house soon.


xxx

kittendothroar

I haven't read the whole thread...but..

Growing up mum slept on the sofa from when I was about 7, until they finally divorced when I was 12. They had a vile marriage, and I was piggy in the middle forced into lying to protect them both (mum had a new partner). The emotional scars which came about in those years I still carry now. They lived separate lives and hated each other and would physically tense up around each other. Please never stay together 'for the sake of the children' because it only causes irreparable harm. Things were tight, fortunately mum got the house and a part time job, with maintenance scraped the bills but life was more settled without dad being around so entirely worth living on school meals and hand me down's.

spirit

tayforth wrote: »

(((ceebeeby))) - I am sending you massive hugs. You're going through such a crappy time right now, but we are all thinking of you and willing you to get through it.

Your ex is a horrible, nasty bully. You are definitely doing the right thing by taking steps to get away from him. And you *will* escape from that house soon.


xxx

This x2.

Project yourself fowards in your mind by 6 months say, and how very different things will be by then. should help to keep you going.

ceebeeby

I was out with youngest DD tonight in the car and we were having a lovely chat - and she says "you know I can't come nd live with you don't you - dad would be way too lonely. You would make new friends, go on dates. Dad won't have anyone. I'll still see you all the time. But I have to live with dad"

I actually don't think I can survive this. I wanted us to be free. But together.

tayforth

ceebeeby wrote: »

I was out with youngest DD tonight in the car and we were having a lovely chat - and she says "you know I can't come nd live with you don't you - dad would be way too lonely. You would make new friends, go on dates. Dad won't have anyone. I'll still see you all the time. But I have to live with dad"

I actually don't think I can survive this. I wanted us to be free. But together.

How old is she again?

Do you suspect that he's planted all these thoughts in her head? Because that's what I think.

(((Hugs)))

Savvy_Sue

ceebeeby wrote: »

I was out with youngest DD tonight in the car and we were having a lovely chat - and she says "you know I can't come nd live with you don't you - dad would be way too lonely. You would make new friends, go on dates. Dad won't have anyone. I'll still see you all the time. But I have to live with dad"

I actually don't think I can survive this. I wanted us to be free. But together.

I think - I don't know for sure, haven't been in this situation before - I'd go for a "Well, obviously Dad says he'll be lonely, but I'm not sure you're responsible for that, are you?"

Does he have no friends, no life atm? Is that your fault too?

gizmo111

ceebeeby wrote: »

I was out with youngest DD tonight in the car and we were having a lovely chat - and she says "you know I can't come nd live with you don't you - dad would be way too lonely. You would make new friends, go on dates. Dad won't have anyone. I'll still see you all the time. But I have to live with dad"

I actually don't think I can survive this. I wanted us to be free. But together.

What was your response?
Why does she think you will be having this great time and he won't.

''have to live with dad''' = more emotional abuse and an extension of the DV you are living with,

Get on to womens aid and get out asap, before your children think this brainwashing and controlling behaviour is normal.

ONLY YOU CAN HELP THEM. Stop worrying about about sofas and sharing costs - get out, rent somewhere and deal with the rest in due course.