Existing, not living (Life)

justme111

I would disagree with fighting suggestion. First of all nobody says he is going to try and shortchanged op . Second even if there are disagreements it all can be sorted without negative emotions that the word "fighting "implies and at the end of the day there are things more important in this life than money . They probably are going to end up with more or less the same whether they fight or not and if they fight there will be a lot of nervous energy spent on it leavi.g them bitter and kids not happy. I seen a few times people's lives being ruined for a good few years due to "fighting " becoming their focus .

tayforth

It's not 'fighting'. It's simply 'being prepared'. Getting legal advice is a good idea.

My ex has taken our jointly owned car without my agreement, and is refusing to return it. I didn't see that coming. People can be very nasty and renege on verbal agreements when they realise that they've lost control of their partner, as I've learned the hard way.

paulineb_2

justme111 wrote: »

I would disagree with fighting suggestion. First of all nobody says he is going to try and shortchanged op . Second even if there are disagreements it all can be sorted without negative emotions that the word "fighting "implies and at the end of the day there are things more important in this life than money . They probably are going to end up with more or less the same whether they fight or not and if they fight there will be a lot of nervous energy spent on it leavi.g them bitter and kids not happy. I seen a few times people's lives being ruined for a good few years due to "fighting " becoming their focus .

No one is happy at the moment are they? They arent, the kids arent. The OP certainly isnt. Nobody says he is going to short change OP? Have you read the thread about how he currently treats her?

I didnt suggest that they should go outside and start knocking lumps out of one another. I suggested that she took legal advice to stop herself being browbeaten by a bully who has by all accounts been treating her like dirt for a long time. If you have built up a home and you technically own 50 per cent of that and assets, why should one person end up with the majority share and yes that does happen sometimes and also some people choose to leave with nothing to save any arguments. But these arguments are happening at the moment, theyve been happening for a long time and I would say to anyone in a situation where they were divorcing, get yourself some proper legal advice.

And I also did say, if she wanted to move out with nothing and then see about getting access to what is hers at a later date then that is entirely up to her. And it is, she can accept or disregard anything that anyone has said to her on this thread, including myself.

geoffky

Let the games begin....As long as you can spot them you will win hands down with humor...Teenagers think we are brand new and your ex must think you are..Let him think that..It will be easy to outmaneuver him..

ceebeeby

paulineb wrote: »

she can accept or disregard anything that anyone has said to her on this thread.

I just wanted to say how very grateful I am to everyone. Some suggestions I hadn't even considered, so even if I don't immediately act on them, I've definitely read and absorbed them, and they might be useful either immediately or in the future.

You're all so kind to support me through what is both the most awful, but also exciting time of my life.

X:)X

justme111

Legal advice - sure. A must. Probably a while ago. Does not need to be seen as fighting though. Tayforth , what do you mean - nobody mentions fighting. It wasentioned in the post I replied to. I seen the scenarios of "you go girl " or "show that b..ch " friends' encoraged fight taking a few years and resulting un legal fees that wipe anything "won " and where people's life is ruled by resentment that fighting brings. Ps. Denigrating partner and being manipulative and abusive in petty everyday occurences is not the same as to try and shortchange that partner in major financial issues. Those are different behavior patterns.

tayforth

ceebeeby wrote: »

I just wanted to say how very grateful I am to everyone. Some suggestions I hadn't even considered, so even if I don't immediately act on them, I've definitely read and absorbed them, and they might be useful either immediately or in the future.

You're all so kind to support me through what is both the most awful, but also exciting time of my life.

X:)X

I'm so glad to see you describe it as exciting! Because it is. It's the start of the rest of your life I, and many others, are following your progress with hope and optimism. You are doing so well and deserve every happiness. I have no doubt that you will find it xxx

tayforth

justme111 wrote: »

Legal advice - sure. A must. Probably a while ago. Does not need to be seen as fighting though. Tayforth , what do you mean - nobody mentions fighting. It wasentioned in the post I replied to. I seen the scenarios of "you go girl " or "show that b..ch " friends' encoraged fight taking a few years and resulting un legal fees that wipe anything "won " and where people's life is ruled by resentment that fighting brings. Ps. Denigrating partner and being manipulative and abusive in petty everyday occurences is not the same as to try and shortchange that partner in major financial issues. Those are different behavior patterns.

Um...

Go back and read your own post.

paulineb_2

justme111 wrote: »

Legal advice - sure. A must. Probably a while ago. Does not need to be seen as fighting though. Tayforth , what do you mean - nobody mentions fighting. It wasentioned in the post I replied to. I seen the scenarios of "you go girl " or "show that b..ch " friends' encoraged fight taking a few years and resulting un legal fees that wipe anything "won " and where people's life is ruled by resentment that fighting brings. Ps. Denigrating partner and being manipulative and abusive in petty everyday occurences is not the same as to try and shortchange that partner in major financial issues. Those are different behavior patterns.

If you want to point me to anywhere I said, "you go girl", or "show that !!!!!", fair enough. Fighting ones corner or fighting for what you believe is right is vastly different to attacking someone.

And who said anything about trying to shortchange anyone in major financial issues? What I said was, you may have to fight (please note, that doesnt mean actually physically laying a hand on someone or calling them names), for a share of whats rightfully yours. Your share. Your legal share, what you are entitled to by law. Not screwing someone over (I seriously hope Im not going to have to spend the next 22 posts I make defending my use of the word screwing):)

Talk about taking something totally out of context. Fighting ones corner or fighting for what you believe in doesnt need to be done in an aggressive or nasty manner. I really hope that clears this up and that is why I said, seek legal advice. To avoid any more unpleasantness than there needs to be during a difficult time.

justme111

It's too late for that lol. Basically everybody agrees fighting is not good , legal advice is a must . Am I right ?