Existing, not living (Life)

duckeggblue

Ceebeeby , we will all try to help you, you are not alone.Some of the fears you have have been placed there by HIM. You know, "everybody hates you, your daughters, your family, my family, total strangers." And " youre the bully x said to me he thought that xyx "

I think your biggest fear is that he will turn your children against you, that must be confusing and frightening.


When you get some great support from professionals, like I did, you will be able to lean on them a little to take the pressure off you, I had floating support from womens aid, they met me in my lunch hour.Just someone to talk and offload to.

tayforth

justme111 wrote: »

SlimmingSusan wrote: »

No there's nothing like that in the divorce process, he has manufactured a situation now where I am scared to stop him coming in, as I would not be able to pay the bills without his maintenance (which he pays and always has, but it's 2 days wages for him).

He has me believing, and I really do, that I could not live without his help, which has to be begged for, and he is obviously passive aggressive, very hard to press his buttons and get any of his thoughts, always was. I am 48 and truly believe my life is over. Have also put on weight and find it impossible to lose.[/
I thought it must be a wind up. Either he HAS TO pay you maintenance and will go to court and be made to do so if he does not pay or he does not have to pay you maintenance and if he does not then you either budget without his maintenance or chose to accept money from him in exchange to whatever .

tayforth wrote: »

justme111 - probably best if you do stop commenting on 'threads like this', your comment above was a little abrupt and Susan deserves support xx

I see that you edited your post (above) after I pulled you up on your impolite comments.

duckeggblue

I've put on weight too, but it doesn't affect the person I am. So what.Again how dare he try to make you insecure , how nasty, is he Daniel Craig cross pierce brosnan - i think not. Idiot.

ceebeeby

Hi Everyone,

Thought I'd give you a quick 'not a lot' update.

After spending most of the weekend out of the house, life has been as calm as my life ever is.

Next week-end, I'll start preparing the house for sale / packing up all the clutter - and clear as much stuff through ebay as possible with the aim of making the £1000 towards the house sale fund. I have some jewellery to kick-start it all off with.

There's also some minor house repairs to do (painting / cleaning etc.) which I'll try to do during the evenings. OH won't really get involved in this, but girls will so will have plenty of help.

Am really excited about making this happen - although daunting, I'm ready and willing for whatever the next chapter will be.

RAS

SlimmingSusan wrote: »

I now feel like I live in an expensive prison of my own making.

This so resonated with me, I am in a similar position, but am actually divorced after 23 years married.

I got the equity, but have sunk into deep depression. It has all been too much. DD is nearly 20 and lives with me (just finished 2nd year uni), son is older and has his own place. I still live in family home and his name is still on the mortgage, but he comes in here, eats, uses my tv, living room, so I go elsewhere, treats me with disdain, but I am powerless to stop it and move on.

I really feel what you are saying.

susan

You probably need your own thread re this. It would help if we knew which country you live in as the law is different.

And can you explain why you get maintenance with no dependent children??

tayforth

Well done ceebeeby, you're doing great. Making positive plans and looking to the future. I'm proud of you and look forward to many more updates xxx

spirit

ceebeeby wrote: »

.

Am really excited about making this happen - although daunting, I'm ready and willing for whatever the next chapter will be.

:T and there are plenty of people on here who will support you with your transition.

ceebeeby

Thanks everyone for all your support.

All the furniture has been divvied up and we're both pleased with what we're getting. Haha, what would I do with a massive TV anyway :rotfl::rotfl: although DD was a little playfully disgruntled that I gave way so quickly with the TV and all its bits and bobs. We've got our bedroom TVs, but I'm determined we're only having one in the new home so we all sit together in the lounge rather than hiding away. He got the lounge, I got the dining room & conservatory furniture - everyone gets their own bedrooms (girls both have newly furnished rooms).

Wow, how cleansing is that!!

tayforth

Wow, well done! And I love your new sig, very determined!

spirit

ceebeeby wrote: »

Thanks everyone for all your support.

All the furniture has been divvied up and we're both pleased with what we're getting. Haha, what would I do with a massive TV anyway :rotfl::rotfl: although DD was a little playfully disgruntled that I gave way so quickly with the TV and all its bits and bobs. We've got our bedroom TVs, but I'm determined we're only having one in the new home so we all sit together in the lounge rather than hiding away. He got the lounge, I got the dining room & conservatory furniture - everyone gets their own bedrooms (girls both have newly furnished rooms).

Wow, how cleansing is that!!

This sounds like your DDs are in favour of the separation/house move, which is great news.