Existing, not living (Life)

ceebeeby

Well, tonight's scenario is Mr Charming. It's so upsy downsy living like this. I've been on the edge all day and its like I've walked into a concentrated "charm fest".

I appreciate so much all your comments, and even if I don't directly respond, I have read it and am grateful for your input.

The second house is one battle too far right now - I think getting out of this emotional and mentally damaging quagmire should be first priority. Once I've dealt with one, I can address the other.

ceebeeby

Rottensocks wrote: »

your children care so much for you

Take courage from their quiet support and slowly start making your exit plan...

They do. I am the luckiest mum in the world to have such fantastic children and I mean that with all my heart.

lostinrates

ceebeeby wrote: »

Thanks Barbara. It's helpful to hear that sometimes.

Because I grew up 'without' a family, I've always been so protective of them having one. I do wonder if that's clouded my judgement.

I think I just felt lucky that I was in "a secure" relationship, which was something I'd never had before. It took me a very very long time to realise that it wasn't normal or okay - I just accepted what I had.

I think this point people have made about your children is worth reiterating. This is NOT a healthy functional family. They do not deserve to have this as a pattern of what is bearable in a family situation.

ceebeeby

pmlindyloo wrote: »

Have just read your other thread on the Debtfree Wannabe board

With this money from the sale or money from the rent you could manage your debts after selling the house.

Because I'm so new to this whole SOA business I keep needing to fix it / update it to get it right, will post on DFW but selling just this house will be enough to clear all of my debts, as the equity after secure debt is all mine, not shared. I can then more than survive on my salary in rented accom for next two years, which will give time for the other house to sell - and that would be the new sole purchased house deposit.

spirit

ceebeeby wrote: »

Well, tonight's scenario is Mr Charming. It's so upsy downsy living like this. I've been on the edge all day and its like I've walked into a concentrated "charm fest".

I appreciate so much all your comments, and even if I don't directly respond, I have read it and am grateful for your input.

The second house is one battle too far right now - I think getting out of this emotional and mentally damaging quagmire should be first priority. Once I've dealt with one, I can address the other.

I agree, one thing at a time. None of us is sqeaky clean but you don't deserve to live like this, nor does it do the kids any good living in that atmosphere.

gizmo111

ceebeeby wrote: »

Because I'm so new to this whole SOA business I keep needing to fix it / update it to get it right, will post on DFW but selling just this house will be enough to clear all of my debts, as the equity after secure debt is all mine, not shared. I can then more than survive on my salary in rented accom for next two years, which will give time for the other house to sell - and that would be the new sole purchased house deposit.

Thats all good t this stage bt dont bank on him giving in when you actually make a move. Look at the worst case scenario and he will get 50% of the equity.

So is the equity 20 K or 40K?

ceebeeby

I worked it out to be between 35 and 40, depending on sale price. I've got it in writing, so hopefully that should be enough.

marisco_2

ceebeeby wrote: »

I think getting out of this emotional and mentally damaging quagmire should be first priority. Once I've dealt with one, I can address the other.

I agree with you 100% on this.

Free yourself from this negative person. You deserve to be with someone who is genuine, kind and loving and who would value you. Relationships should help you, not hurt you. My mantra in life is to surround myself with people who reflect the person I want to be.

The people you chose to have in your life and to be closest to you, should be ones that you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you - people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.

Life is to short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be you and being you is the only way to truly live

Mojisola

marisco wrote: »

Free yourself from this negative person.

You deserve to be with someone who is genuine, kind and loving and who would value you. Relationships should help you, not hurt you.

First you deserve time to learn how to be you again.

If you then find someone you would like to share your life with, that will be brilliant but give yourself some time first.

tayforth

marisco wrote: »

I agree with you 100% on this.

Free yourself from this negative person. You deserve to be with someone who is genuine, kind and loving and who would value you. Relationships should help you, not hurt you. My mantra in life is to surround myself with people who reflect the person I want to be.

The people you chose to have in your life and to be closest to you, should be ones that you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you - people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.

Life is to short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be you and being you is the only way to truly live

I love this post.