Are you happy on your own?

red_devil

i prefer to be with someone.

Mr_Toad

red_devil wrote: »

i prefer to be with someone.

I prefer to be with someone you can send home when you've had enough of them.

Hermia

166million wrote: »

I'm a bit pathetic, can't stand being on my own. Lived on my own for 6 months and it was horrible.

That's not pathetic because you clearly did manage on your own even if you didn't enjoy it. If someone really can't manage on their own then I think that is a problem. A colleague of mine almost had a breakdown when she had to live on her own for 6 months and grabbed the first bloke who was single!

Hermia

VestanPance wrote: »

This is something I've read many a time, mostly in post break-up the new exciting me isn't the single life awesome mindset that people take up to get over things, but in reality I've never understood this concept of I'd never have done x while with someone.

I honestly can't think of a single thing you can't do while coupled up in terms of hobbies and social life that you can as a single, other than go out on the pull. Although by various threads on here you can do that too! :eek:

It does make me wonder how many people who do this really buried parts of themselves to be with that other person, rather than being honest about who they really are.

I can understand people getting annoyed about being questioned about being single if that's what they decided they'd rather be, but not the I couldn't do x, y or z until I was single.

It depends how all-consuming your passions are though. Face it, partners do want to see you occasionally and don't take to kindly to you having a full diary for months ahead! Unless you find someone who shares all your interests or who doesn't mind spending lots of time on their own you will have to give up a lot of your passions.

The problem with me and relationships is that I am an introvert. I am around people all day so am absolutely desperate for some silence in the evening. Coming home to someone who jabbers away all evening has me reaching for the carving knife! I couldn't even flat share for this reason.

I know a lady in her 70s who has had a "gentlemen friend" for 40 years. Neither of them have ever wanted a full-time relationship with anyone or wanted kids. So, they meet up for dinner or the theatre or a holiday and then don't see each other for weeks. Absolute bliss.

razzie

I have been on my own(live with 12 year old son) for the past 14 months... And I LOVE it!!!like just now, woke up, stretched out in my king size bed and thought how happy I feel. Don't get me wrong if you re happy and compatible with someone then it's brilliant ... But if you are miserable with someone then its the loneliest place in the world. I feel less lonely since I got out! I have friends over all the time, go to friends. Have decorated my house just as I like it, cook what I want to eat, watch films I want to see. Can make plans without compromise and generally be in charge of ones life. It will take a very special person to make me give all this up!!

Sneezy

I've been on my own for nearly 12 months (after an 11 month relationship) and I couldn't be happier.

In the last few months I used to dread weekends and having to spend the whole day/days with him - best decision I made but I should have made it earlier.

In october last year I went on holiday for 2 weeks to Italy on my own (I'd only ever done long weekends) - which was extremely strange but it was amazing. The best bit was not having to compromise with anyone (selfish I know but when I went to New York in 2010 with my sisters they HAD to go to the zoo in Central Park which I hated!)

It will change at some point as one thing I do know is that I would love children.

Kayalana99

I don't mind being on my own or a relationship but I don't see myself as that independant and I enjoy the company.

I just don't see the point in say going out for a meal by myself...sitting thier bored whilst waiting for my meal to come etc. I couldn't do it personally and I care to much what people think to say take a book with me...

How life would be easier if I could flip a switch inside my head making me not care about what others thought

justme111

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I don't mind being on my own or a relationship but I don't see myself as that independant and I enjoy the company.

I just don't see the point in say going out for a meal by myself...sitting thier bored whilst waiting for my meal to come etc. I couldn't do it personally and I care to much what people think to say take a book with me...

How life would be easier if I could flip a switch inside my head making me not care about what others thought

Ah , about a month ago I had a couple of spare hours after daughter been picked up by ex / waiting for her to be dropped off. I had a lunch and coffee and a paper reading on my own , it was actually enjoyable. ! I have a suspicion after years of wanting to be part of a couple I may finally realise how good it is to be alone and then regret all those years I spent feeling sorry for myself .
Kajalana , once you yourself stop seeing it as deficient that you are having lunch alone you will not feel that others think anything but good about you doing it .

marisco_2

Hermia wrote: »

It depends how all-consuming your passions are though. Face it, partners do want to see you occasionally and don't take to kindly to you having a full diary for months ahead! Unless you find someone who shares all your interests or who doesn't mind spending lots of time on their own you will have to give up a lot of your passions.

In strong relationships you respect each other and come to agreement on finding a healthy balance between doing things together and seperately. There is absolutely no need for someone to give up alot of their passions, or to suppress who they are and what they enjoy doing from their life partner. I would seriously question what type of relationship someone was in, if they felt they couldn't be totally themselves. If that was happening it is highly likely they were with someone they were not compatible with.

This_Year

Hermia wrote: »

Unless you find someone who shares all your interests or who doesn't mind spending lots of time on their own you will have to give up a lot of your passions.

This is so true. This may sound wrong but if we're at home and I go to lay on the bed and read in the evening, my OH will be upstairs in 5 minutes to see why I'm not in the lounge. If I have a bath and relaxing he'll be knocking on the door every few minutes to see if I'm ok. Says it's because he cares. :wall: Hence why I usually shower and only have a bath when he's not around.

Hermia wrote: »

The problem with me and relationships is that I am an introvert. I am around people all day so am absolutely desperate for some silence in the evening. Coming home to someone who jabbers away all evening has me reaching for the carving knife!

I'm the same. I would get in from work, head absolutely spinning with work stuff and he would want to talk about the bath plug or the lawnmower not working properly and all I wanted is a few minutes peace! I got to the stage where I was seriously considering stopping off in the pub for a drink by myself every day just to get my head together, so I told him he must back off. Which he did.

Today though he's in post-argument SULK. And totally ignoring me. Nice for the bank holiday weekend, eh!