Are you happy on your own?

justme111

Ps. When I am 80 I do not intend to be in a rocking chair , I want to play squash with fellow octagenarians

Orlando_Virgin

Some of these posts are quality. Going to China and teaching English sounds like a dream you need to fulfil! And you're hardly thick as mince if you're passing those assignments, keep going!

My general outlook is to just be happy in my own life, enjoy what I have already rather than being unhappy about what I've lost/didn't work out.

I'm going out on a kind of "date" this weekend, she's 33 and I'm 29, it'll be the first ever date when I'm the younger of the two! Neither of us are looking for a relationship but it will be nice to share some company and have a laugh. Feel like I've made a good step even spending some time with another girl.

The only problem I feel about being on your own is being the target for nights out! Every time one of my mates "gets a pass" etc. I'm the first one they call, it's a good job I'm good with my money and have more aspirations than getting drunk!!

SandC

Someone on the last page mentioned it being selfish, or conceived as such.

Well, it is no such thing. Selfishness is about doing things for yourself to the detriment of others. If you are alone and happy it's not only not being detrimental to others (after all, they are not affected by you playing the same song over and over and over again or watching Homes Under the Hammer all weekend) but very often the complete opposite.

Aren't us happy and content people the ones who try to spread the positivity amongst others when they are not feeing so good about life? Of course we are!

That, of course, goes for whatever personal situation we are in. Those who know us best can tell if we are genuinely happy or not, just as we can often read through the lines with them in their particular circumstances.

Mr_Toad

ceebeeby wrote: »

I live a single persons existence within the confines of a marriage. The worst of both worlds as no freedom to enjoy any form of lunch!

That was my situation. You have all the disadvantages of being married but none of the advantages.

In my case we rubbed along quite nicely, we didn't argue we simply lived together. I thought I was quite happy, we had loads of disposable income and both the children had gone to Uni and on to their own lives.

To this day I'm not sure what happened but I had some sort of epiphany and decided I wanted out. It was the right choice and I've never been happier.

I realise now that the state of inertia brought on by the fact that living together wasn't actually a living hell wasn't as good as I thought at the time.

I'm still great friends with my ex in fact I went out with a group of our mutual friends last night and she was there as was my current girlfriend. We chatted about our son's wedding this Saturday and I bought her meal.

I would seriously look at getting out like I did, it's a revelation and I don't regret it at all.

tinkerbell73

I was with my ex husband from when i was 20 to 36 - the marriage was awful but i stayed because we had kids when we split i was so relieved the life i had on my own was a million times better than my married one. After 2 years on my own I met my last boyfriend wasn't looking but he appeared and we had a ball - life was how i had always imagined it could be but he had issues to sort and we split last September so I am on my own with the kids again. But i am not unhappy at all - its hard work with the kids but love that i can do what i want when i want.

Next week i am doing the moonwalk marathon in London and in June its my big birthday and have a week of celebrations planned with different people (last year was a bit of a damp squib with the ex ) I have joined a local meetup group and go out for all sorts of nights with different people and my social circle has widened, and i am taking the kids camping to west france later in the year and as they get older my plan is to downsize and start seeing the world a bit. If i meet some one again it will have to be special as I will not be prepared to jump in as I don't need anyone but sometimes a cuddle would be nice :-)

166million

I'm a bit pathetic, can't stand being on my own. Lived on my own for 6 months and it was horrible.

sweaty_betty

166million wrote: »

I'm a bit pathetic, can't stand being on my own. Lived on my own for 6 months and it was horrible.

That's not pathetic, different people like different things. I was single and lived alone for 5 years when I split up with my ex. It was a shock at first, but I soon learned to love the peace, having my own space, being able to do exactly what I wanted, when I wanted and not having to consider others in how I spent my time or money. The only thing I missed was having to make an effort when I wanted company - but that's done me good to be honest!

When I met my OH it took a bit of doing to get used to sharing my space and time again, but we're happy and rub along quite nicely . However if the worst happened and I was on my own again I know I could manage, or even enjoy it.

SandC

166million wrote: »

I'm a bit pathetic, can't stand being on my own. Lived on my own for 6 months and it was horrible.

It's not pathetic, we are all different and there's no one set way of living your life that suits all.

And I'm very glad about that too!

VJsmum

Steve059 wrote: »

Yes, I like being on my own.

Marlene Dietrich didn't say, "I want to be alone." She said, "I want to be on my own".

Sorry to contradict, but it was Garbo and she said "I want to be let alone".

I am happily married. I love to be with my OH and my kids. I also love to be on my own sometimes. I could live alone, holiday alone etc, but i choose to be with him. The compromises aren't that I have to do what he wants or vice versa but that we can enjoy our individual interests and then come together to talk later.

For example on a trip to Paris after a shared breakfast, he would do the organ recitals he loves and I can't stand, I go to the art galleries that bore him rigid. We would meet in the evening for dinner. Some things might be shared - a trip on the river, a walk in the park - but we aren't joined at the hip.

166million

sweaty_betty wrote: »

That's not pathetic, different people like different things. I was single and lived alone for 5 years when I split up with my ex. It was a shock at first, but I soon learned to love the peace, having my own space, being able to do exactly what I wanted, when I wanted and not having to consider others in how I spent my time or money. The only thing I missed was having to make an effort when I wanted company - but that's done me good to be honest!

When I met my OH it took a bit of doing to get used to sharing my space and time again, but we're happy and rub along quite nicely . However if the worst happened and I was on my own again I know I could manage, or even enjoy it.

I think its preferable to know you could manage happily on your own as you can never rely on always having someone.