Are you happy on your own?

alyth

Following a conversation I had at work last weekend, this has got me thinking.... I've been on my own for five years, after being in a relationship for 15 years. I've not been in one since and have no intentions of ever being in one ever again, I love being on my own, I can travel, I study, and the idea of being with someone ever again just doesn't interest me. However, someone said that I was strange, that people were meant to be in a relationship, and that I was viewed as odd because of my single-ness. I'm 42, no children, never wanted them, and I am totally happy with my life.

Am I that unusual? I truly never think about the fact that I am on my own, I'm too busy living my life and enjoying myself, I can take myself off for lunch, it really doesn't bother me the fact that I will go out for lunch on my own, or go and visit somewhere alone, I just wondered whether there was anyone else in my situation.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

No I loved it. It was a chance joke of joining an online dating agency to support my best chum that went wrong...or right depending on how you looked at it.

tayforth

Having become single again only last week, I love the positive tone of your post, alyth! And it's early days, but I am happier on my own than I was in my marriage.

tayforth

BTW, I don't think that there's anything whatsoever odd about being single. Marriage and kids isn't for everyone. In fact, my two happiest friends seem to be the two long-term single gals, they have a blast! And they love living alone. So nyah to the silly person who said that to you.

balletshoes

I think there are all sorts of people in the world, and we're all different. I don't believe all humans in the world these days (or ever) are meant to pair up and/or have kids .

duckeggblue

I think I would like to be viewed as self contained. I think that's an attractive quality, not there yet but it's still early days.

alyth

Thanks for your replies - I work weekends in a supermarket as I'm a mature student as I guess I tend to see the worst in people, by the time they get to my checkout couples are arguing and bickering with each other. It's just not an issue with me, but this person was adamant that I was odd. I've been on a dating website and had coffee with a few guys, but I just really love being on my own - last week I took myself up north for lunch, and was able to sit outside having lunch on my own and people watch, and I loved it. I travel on my own, I go out walking on my own, I have friends that I go to to the cinema and dinner with, but it was just a bit of an eye opener that this person viewed me as an oddity.

meritaten

I take the view that if you rely on other people to make you happy - then you are not a complete person.
You sound very complete to me - ignore those who think you need a partner.
seen too many people who stay with someone cos they are AFRAID of being alone...........You aren't - you are happy with yourself and some people don't understand that. That is THIER problem! you carry on hun - if you are happy and content then your life is right for you.

paulineb_2

Apart from a couple of short relationships Ive been single for about 8 years now. People who give me the hardest time about it dont know me too well, my family dont.

My mum has been on her own since her second marriage broke down and after what she went through with him she vowed never to live with anyone again and I really dont blame her.

Ive lived on my own more or less since I was 26, Im 44 now. Some people might think Im odd. I dont. Your life is the way it is, I never planned not to get married or live with anyone, but most of the relationships Ive been in, I wouldnt have wanted to live with that person or make a commitment to them anyway. It has to be right or its not worth having.

There are times where Ive been incredibly lonely, but I still wouldnt swap that for some of the relationships Ive been in and left.

tayforth

I agree with meritaten. You shouldn't have to justify yourself to anyone. You sound like a very interesting, adventurous, independent person.

I wouldn't be surprised if the person who said that to you is in an unhappy relationship. And there's nothing lonelier than that.

paulineb_2

I have cats as well which according to some people means I am doomed