Are you happy on your own?

Pixiechic

Nothing strange at all.

You sound happy and that is whats important. Other people's ignorant judgements are just not worth listening too.

Maybe they envy your freedom, your adventures and your happiness.

Hermia

I'm happy on my own. I'm very self-contained and need lots of time on my own. Plus I have loads of interests so not sure how I would fit a bloke in!

alyth wrote: »

However, someone said that I was strange, that people were meant to be in a relationship

Next time someone says this ask them what research they are basing this view on! Evolutionary biology? Anthropology? I'm sure there is plenty of evidence that people are not "meant to be in a relationship". Whenever people come up with meaningless ideas like this I love bamboozling them with annoying question asking for evidence!

I did once read an interesting book (sadly cannot remember the title) which put forward the idea that society needs a mixture of people. For example, you need a percentage of risk takers to move that society forward, but you also need a certain percentage of cautious planners who will stop stupid mistakes being made. I'm sure you can make an argument saying that it would not be beneficial for society for everyone to be in a relationship or for every woman to be absorbed in child-rearing.

Netwizard

Interesting topic because I have always been single & i'll be 30 rather soon!

Of course there are occasional times when I look at people in relationships and wish that was me. This isn't helped by the fact that ALL of my friends are in relationships, and most of my work colleagues are older than me and married (a lot of them with kids too).

But then there is the other side of it too, I get to hear colleagues moaning about their other halves, moaning about money, or how the this wasn't done and how so and so has been in a mard etc.

I'm probably 95% happy being single. The pro's of being single certainly outweigh then cons.

I already work pretty unsocial hours, and spend a fair bit of time on my own, so i'm used to that now. I think the best part about it is being able to do what I want, drive what I want, have a lazy weekend if I want one and generally I can do what I want, when I want without anyone checking up on me, and my money is mine to do what I want with!

Work colleagues and friends quite often say "We will have to find you a girlfriend", but nowadays my response to that is a simple "No thanks", but I do get the impression a lot of people think i'm strange staying single, and there is a certain pressure to find "The one", but its not really for me.

I also have absolutely no interest in marriage and certainly not kids, so another reason to be happy single!

maintenanceman

Netwizard you are 30 . That'ts still young in my book. You have plenty of time to find the right one and from what I have seen you are in the age bucket to find someone suitable. In ten years time it will be a different story. Lol in ten 5 years time you will be posting @I can't find anyone type '.

Richard53

Being happy with your own company is a great gift. You are not odd at all.

What is odd is people who insist that everybody must be just like them. Where did that idea come from? We're all different, and life would be very boring otherwise.

Netwizard

maintenanceman wrote: »

Netwizard you are 30 . That'ts still young in my book. You have plenty of time to find the right one and from what I have seen you are in the age bucket to find someone suitable.

Thanks, and your right. I'm not losing any sleep over it any more though, and I don't bother listening to work people who think I should be out on a Saturday night trying to pull the local drunken bikes or dating hundreds of women a week on POF.

If I meet someone, great. If not, I'm learning to love being on my own! :j

tealady

paulineb wrote: »

I have cats as well which according to some people means I am doomed

Then that makes two of us then!!
BTW I have lived alone for years (apart from the furry management of course) and I love it.

Mr_Toad

alyth wrote: »

Following a conversation I had at work last weekend, this has got me thinking.... I've been on my own for five years, after being in a relationship for 15 years. I've not been in one since and have no intentions of ever being in one ever again, I love being on my own, I can travel, I study, and the idea of being with someone ever again just doesn't interest me. However, someone said that I was strange, that people were meant to be in a relationship, and that I was viewed as odd because of my single-ness. I'm 42, no children, never wanted them, and I am totally happy with my life.

Am I that unusual? I truly never think about the fact that I am on my own, I'm too busy living my life and enjoying myself, I can take myself off for lunch, it really doesn't bother me the fact that I will go out for lunch on my own, or go and visit somewhere alone, I just wondered whether there was anyone else in my situation.

You are not odd.

In fact it looks to me like it's the other person that has the problem.

Many, many people need confirmation of their own choices, choices they either agonised over making or situations where they had no choice. They feel the need to constantly reassure themselves that they made the right, or best choice, and that anyone who makes a different choice is wrong or odd. Anything that casts doubt on their own decisions makes them insecure.

Seeing you happy doesn't reassure them, it makes them question their own situation, are you happier than them? Rather than accept that you can both be happy thinking you must be odd for choosing something different to them is how they rationalise it.

You see it all the time in those pointless arguments like the my car is the best car in the world, otherwise I wouldn't have bought it, and every other car is crap debate.

Look at the iPhone/Android mobile argument or the PC/Mac wars or the petrol diesel argument. It's an endless list and something people are happy to argue endlessly about.

They can't seem to grasp the it's right for me but may not be right for you concept.

I've been happily single for several years and some of my female friends can't stand it, they think it's a waste that someone with all his own hair and teeth, a good, well paid job etc. remains single. They are forever trying to pair me off with someone or other.

Lagoon

I was very happy with the single life. I loved living on my own, having that freedom and had a whole exciting life planned out without a partner in it (though it did feature fostering/adoption at some point).

Then, OH came along and turned that plan upside down, and of course now I wouldn't have it any other way. OH knew how happy I was being single, so sometimes jokes that I'm going to change my mind and run off and leave him, but knows full well that I now love being in a relationship, the family life and sharing my world with someone else.

That's not to say that when he goes away for the weekend I don't get that old rush of excitement, having the house to myself and time to do whatever I want. Still, most of the time nowadays I find that when that happens I end up buying a pizza, picking out a movie and going to bed an hour later than usual...rock and roll...

Orlando_Virgin

I think there is a false social expectation/pressure to "be with someone". I think it is safe to say that the majority of people want to be married/kids/family etc. so when they see someone who wants something different than that "social norm" they struggle to understand it.

Personally, I have been single for 5 weeks after a 2 year relationship and I am finally starting to adapt again. Whilst I miss the times I shared with my ex, I have also started to do things I would never have done had we still been together. joined a martial arts class where I have met a couple of friends, signed up for a half marathon and started training, rock climbing!

I'm not saying I couldn't have done all these things with my ex and I'm sure people do, but I guess I'm trying to say it gives you that extra charge to achieve things you would never normally consider.

I have always firmly believed that you and your partner should WANT to be with someone else, not NEED to be. As someone said earlier I don't think you are a totally complete person if you feel you cannot cope without someone else being there. I don't think there is anything wrong with what you are saying in your OP, I just think that you should also be more open to meeting someone, because its not impossible to be happy with someone else too, if you don't mind me saying.