Are you happy on your own?

This_Year

Lagoon wrote: »

That's not to say that when he goes away for the weekend I don't get that old rush of excitement, having the house to myself and time to do whatever I want. Still, most of the time nowadays I find that when that happens I end up buying a pizza, picking out a movie and going to bed an hour later than usual...rock and roll...

When my OH isn't here, I enjoy mooching around the house and doing a little bit here, little bit there as if he's here and I start washing up (or any other task) he'll say "I can do that, you go and sit down" which is a lovely sentiment but just sometimes I feel like doing something you don't need to think about :mad:

And in the evening I'll have a long hot bubble bath with a glass of wine and my book. Partay! :rotfl:

Orlando_Virgin

This_Year wrote: »

And in the evening I'll have a long hot bubble bath with a glass of wine and my book. Partay! :rotfl:

I'm a 29 year old bloke and I enjoy nothing more than a bath and a book. Haha, there's something tranquil about it all!

bugslet

After 19 years of living with Mr B ( and 7 years of dating - I don't rush into things:p), he went into hospital last October and afterthe first few weeks, I found I was really enjoying being on my own about 95% of the time.

Part of it was probably the relief of how easy life had become as he was very ill in 2012 and 'spare' time was spent looking after him and the rest of it worrying about him!

Every now and then, for some reason on a Saturday afternoon???, I'd like someone about a bit more, but other than that, it's good and I'm certainly in no rush to go and live with anyone else. I have plenty of friends to go out with and at home, the heating is how I like it, the telly has been ejected and my bedtimes are more in sync with my own bodyclock.

Takes all sorts to make the world tick!

PS for clarification - Mr B is still alive, but in full time nursing care.

VestanPance

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

... Whilst I miss the times I shared with my ex, I have also started to do things I would never have done had we still been together. joined a martial arts class where I have met a couple of friends, signed up for a half marathon and started training, rock climbing!

I'm not saying I couldn't have done all these things with my ex and I'm sure people do, but I guess I'm trying to say it gives you that extra charge to achieve things you would never normally consider.

This is something I've read many a time, mostly in post break-up the new exciting me isn't the single life awesome mindset that people take up to get over things, but in reality I've never understood this concept of I'd never have done x while with someone.

I honestly can't think of a single thing you can't do while coupled up in terms of hobbies and social life that you can as a single, other than go out on the pull. Although by various threads on here you can do that too! :eek:

It does make me wonder how many people who do this really buried parts of themselves to be with that other person, rather than being honest about who they really are.

I can understand people getting annoyed about being questioned about being single if that's what they decided they'd rather be, but not the I couldn't do x, y or z until I was single.

Orlando_Virgin

VestanPance wrote: »

This is something I've read many a time, mostly in post break-up the new exciting me isn't the single life awesome mindset that people take up to get over things, but in reality I've never understood this concept of I'd never have done x while with someone.

I honestly can't think of a single thing you can't do while coupled up in terms of hobbies and social life that you can as a single, other than go out on the pull. Although by various threads on here you can do that too! :eek:

It does make me wonder how many people who do this really buried parts of themselves to be with that other person, rather than being honest about who they really are.

I can understand people getting annoyed about being questioned about being single if that's what they decided they'd rather be, but not the I couldn't do x, y or z until I was single.

I agree, it is a strange one. I think it's a harsh realisation that if you start to do a million things you "could never find time to do" or never got round to doing, then there's a very good chance that person was never for you anyway.

I never viewed doing all those things as "awesome, new single life" more so that it was just trying to keep busy, go places and meet new friends and people, rather than sit and wallow.

SandC

Great post Vestanpance!

I am happy on my own, have never lived with anyone etc. Yet I do understand where people are coming from when they want me to meet someone, my friends would like that to happen because if it was the right person for me they know that my life could be even better.

But for someone to say or consider it an oddity, well they are just rude and insecure and that's their problem not yours.

There is nothing wrong with being content with what you have, looking for something you might never find may just cause disappointment and that will get in the way of your enjoyment of life.

I just say, go with the flow.

Scorpio33

I think in the main people learn their values from their parents.

Everyone who was born had parents, most of who attempt to bring up the child together. So most people look at their parents, and naturally think the normal set up for people is to have two people together with kids.

Obviously we are intellegent, so as we grow older we get to experience other set ups - such as being on your own with no kids, which we learn is acceptable. However, as what the majority of us experience when younger is two people having a kid, then naturally it seems strange to have otherwise.

Not trying to defend peoples views, but maybe that is where they stem from.

I would hope that as a society we are a tad more evolved than that and can understand that it is perfecly acceptable to be on your own and be happy. It is horses for courses - do what works for you, after all we only have one life and life is too short to worry about what other people "expect" of you.

bugslet

I took up new hobbies and went out regularly and away for weekends whilst Mr B was at home, but I can still do more now that he isn't at home.

A portion of life with anyone is doing things together and sometimes those things are active such as supporting a football team, having a meal out together, taking up ballroom dancing, others include just mooching companionably round the house and yes there are compromises. I certainly spent more time at race meetings ( though I enjoy them in a limted fashion), than I would have liked. I'm sure he spent more time doing things that I wanted than he would have liked.

affordmylife

I think that as long as you are happy - which you clearly are - then its perfect for you.

I enjoy my own company immensely but I also love socialising with my friends and I adore being married.

We do lots of things separately but having someone to come home to who loves me unconditionally with all my faults is a very cherished thing.

Having said that I would certainly not seek out a new relationship if for whatever reason we were no longer together. I would be perfectly content on my own (well with the dog) x

DUKE

Alyth I've heard that so many times in the past, that I could have almost written it myself. People would ask me the usual (1) Are you married? (2) Don't you like men? (3) Are you a lesbian? (4) You must have kids? (5) But you must have had kids? This really got to me because I got the feeling that they thought I'd had kids & had them adopted or worse! (6) Did you know you can have treatment these days? (7) I expect you live at home with your parents? Then I'd get told how strange I was. One day I just told them that I wasn't married, or engaged, had no kids ever, never been pregnant as I didn't want to be, didn't live with my parents, I was really happy, I didn't want the same life that my parents & their parents had, or the boring little life that they had, I wanted my life for myself & not to live it through a bunch of kids, I'd got my own home, a good job, & I wasn't the strange one, they were! They were left speechless. I'm married now & was only single for about a year, but apart from being questions by them strange people, living alone was great!