Are you happy on your own?

moneyistooshorttomention

I can quite see that it has suited Society as a whole for centuries for people to be coupled-up for a variety of reasons. I can see that resources would go further if people shared houses/flats (ie because they were a couple), rather than having one each (ie because they are single). It has been necessary - and I feel it still is necessary - for people to be married if they have children.

However, I have never wanted children and so one major reason for getting married hasn't existed.

I spent some years looking/hoping that Mr Right would turn up and would have married him if he had. However, he never did. These days I tend to wonder just how many people do find/marry their own Mr/Mrs Right and how many get fed-up waiting and marry someone else instead. My fear has always been that I would marry Mr Second Best (or worse) and then meet my Mr Right subsequently - with all the problems that would create whatever course of action I then took.

However, the "raging hormones" of earlier life are now either fast asleep or dead (for which I am only too thankful) and aren't driving my actions any longer and I've had many years of watching other peoples relationships from the sidelines. I first went into not being bothered about having a man in my life and have now found myself going into being actively glad that I don't.

I didn't need to be short of a boyfriend when I was younger and had several chances to get married, so I can't say I wasn't "wanted":D and that helps - to know I had the option, but chose not to take it.

These days, being single means being grateful that I can choose where to live/which house to buy/how to do up that house/which way to eat/etc/etc and am not at risk of a situation I have seen a friend going through (ie of finding my husband developed dementia and that, because he was my husband and I was honouring marriage vows, that I had to be a carer for years to someone who eventually didn't even recognise me etc).

I prefer being single even living in the area I currently do. That hasn't stopped me going and investigating another area that I suspected would be friendlier than my reserved/bigger and impersonal area. I went, I saw and I decided that I had actually underestimated just how much friendlier the area would be - much friendlier than my own:D and I could definitely make a life there for myself and will be moving there as soon as I am able to. So - to me - that's the last necessary thing for a good Single Life - to be in an area where people are friendlier/look out for each other than happens in my own area.

A lot of people would be happier in an environment that is more impersonal/etc - as they want to feel free to indulge in the casual or not so "casual" Bad Behaviour that is such an everyday occurrence in my area without incurring "community ire" for it and are prepared to put up with others doing so in return.

Either way - it is more important I feel for a Singlie to be living in an environment that suits them personally - be it a friendly one or a "casual Bad Behaviour is tolerated" or "who gives a darn at all" one.

barbarawright

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

It has been necessary - and I feel it still is necessary - for people to be married if they have children.

It may be preferable but it clearly isn't necessary to be married in order to have children.

lizziebabe

alyth - I wish you all the best with your results and plans to go to China.
It sounds like a great adventure and you will have fun. Like you say if it doesn't work out you can do something else.

I am on my own today and have enjoyed a lazy morning and then a lovely walk. I am catching up with stuff in the house and then plan to do a spot of gardening. I enjoy my own company and am free to make spontaneous decisions.

As I said before if someone came along I wouldn't mind a relationship but wouldn't want to live with anyone 24/7. You do what pleases you alyth and it is good to hear about your plans. Keep posting and let us know your results.

alyth

I have less than 40 hours to go until my final exam - I'm losing the will to live! I've never failed anything in four years but I don't want to tempt fate! It's been very interesting reading the posts, especially the recent post about your surroundings and location - I live in a very rural area and what don't know they make up - if my dad comes to visit in my mother's car I'll get at least one comment from someone asking if I have a new man in my life.

lizziebabe

alyth wrote: »

I have less than 40 hours to go until my final exam - I'm losing the will to live! I've never failed anything in four years but I don't want to tempt fate! It's been very interesting reading the posts, especially the recent post about your surroundings and location - I live in a very rural area and what don't know they make up - if my dad comes to visit in my mother's car I'll get at least one comment from someone asking if I have a new man in my life.

Honestly, some people obviously don't have anything better to do than gossip. I would go along with them and say he is one of many.....:rotfl:

All the best with your final exam. You have done so well so far so have confidence in yourself and go for it.

morganedge

I'm pretty sure that some people think i'm odd, as I've pretty much always been single. I'm in my late 20's. But to be honest, i'm really quite content with it. I really like my own company. I hate obligation, so it seems to suit me!
I've got some mates who, it seems, can't bare to be single. They break up with a girl they've been with for 3 years, and within a week, they're in another long term relationship!

I don't know how they do it, in fairness! If I could 'pull' like that, i'd put it to better use! lol

viv0147

The pleasure of living on your own
You have a bed to yourself, that you can get in and out of when you decide and you'll never be disturbed or woken up by someone else getting in an hour after you and bugging you, or who wants the lights off when you're reading a really good chapter, or who hogs the duvet, or who has annoyingly cold feet and wants to warm them up on yours, or who snores or kicks out or has terrible morning breath.

You can cook what you fancy when you're hungry and do the washing up whenever you're ready to. You don't have to avoid ingredients you love just because somebody else hates them, you don't get irritated when you've cooked three nights in a row and its not your turn but you'll have to do it again tonight because otherwise you'll go hungry or have to put up with a!!!! Sandwich.

You know that whatever was in the house when you left will be there when you get back. If the milk's gone its because you finished it, if there's hardly any loo roll left its because you haven't bought any new, you won't be taken by surprise!

You can keep the place as clean or as messy as you feel like depending on your mood, and you've only got your own washing in the basket to worry about.

You can decorate and furnish exactly how you want without having to compromise and without having to constantly defend your lovely home from assaults by horrible shelves, ugly paint colours and bad DIY that you are then expected to be grateful for.

You can use as much water, gas and electricity as you are comfortable with, you don't have to try and sneak around a skinflint who would rather see you get frostbite in January than turn a radiator on or someone who leaves every appliance in the house running at full power 24/7.

Person_one

^^ I recognise that! :rotfl:

sparrer

^^

and cuddle up on the sofa with the dog and/or cat without some jealous human throwing a hissy fit

Zekko

I like the freedom of being single, and having no one to answer to. I can spend my hard earned money how I like, when I like.
I wouldn't have it any other way. :beer:

You only get one life, so at the end of the day do whatever makes you happy, and sod what anyone else thinks.