My partner is always in a bad mood with me so sad

tayforth

Just a thought OP - if your avatar is a photo of you, best take it down xxx

minnie123

spamhater wrote: »

What sort of responsible parent stays out until 4am and then expects someone else to pick up the pieces the following day while they slob about recovering? I can only assume the OP is young and immature.

I'm not surprised her partner is suspicious - it doesn't seem above board to me either.

As for his "bullying" you need to grow up and deal with it (if it is as bad as you claim) instead of posting an attention seeking sympathy whine on an internet forum. Life is sh** sometimes but avoiding things won't ever solve it and nobody else is going to bail you out.

Anyone who lets a bully get away with it is as much part of the problem as the abuser. They are giving the person the right to repeat their behaviour ad infinitum

I didnt expect him to pick up the pieces the following day he was up and out the house before OUR son even woke up. And so what if I expected him to look after his son for one day he goes to the gym after work and every weekend morning for hours so I am expected to look after my little boy then which of course I dont resent as he is my son and it's my job - but it's also his job. I am either at work or with my son I rarely go out.

And why is not coming in until 4am above board?? I am 32 I dont go out much I was just letting my hair down.

minnie123

happybiker wrote: »

Well, I've read through the whole thread and think there is more to this than meets the eye!

Birth of her son, PND, major family problems , wanted to play on her phone and cuddle her son?

Yes, it sounds like the OP is depressed and the partner is getting resentfull as it appears he's been ignored or rejected for a long time.

Methinks that A doctors advice and a course of Relate counselling would be the best solution to get to the root of the problem, not a judgemental forum.

Sorry, that's my view, and i'm sticking to it

Trust me he is not rejected or ignored after 12 years he gets more than enough attention that way if thats what you are implying.

happybiker

I'm not implying anything other than I think you both need professional help. Sex isn't the be all and end all of a relationship, love , trust, and companionship makes a big contribution and if any of these are missing, the relationship needs mending or breaking

balletshoes

minnie123 wrote: »

I didnt expect him to pick up the pieces the following day he was up and out the house before OUR son even woke up. And so what if I expected him to look after his son for one day he goes to the gym after work and every weekend morning for hours so I am expected to look after my little boy then which of course I dont resent as he is my son and it's my job - but it's also his job. I am either at work or with my son I rarely go out.

And why is not coming in until 4am above board?? I am 32 I dont go out much I was just letting my hair down.

If you expected him to look after his son for one day, did you tell him in advance? See I think this might be what other posters are getting at, you and your OH aren't on the same page because neither of you are actually communicating your expectations to each other.

I'm not for one minute excusing the way he apparently speaks to you though as you described - thats completely out of order as far as I'm concerned.

paulineb_2

You arent happy. He doesnt sound happy. And all of this is going to have an impact on your wee one. You do have choices here.

1 Try and sort things out, be it on your own or with professional help
2 Leave and I appreciate its not easy just to walk out on a long relationship especially if you have kids
3 Keep things the way they are and hope they improve (or not as the case may be).

I think sometimes in relationships we get stuck in patterns that really arent good for us. Ive been there. And you argue so much you get to the point where everything ends up in an argument because thats the pattern of behaviour you've fallen into.

Resentment is a horrible emotion and it can kill the best relationship stone dead.

Now that you've vocalised that you arent happy, what are you going to do about it? Because hopefully if you decide right thats it, things need to change one way or another you might actually take some positive steps to change this situation, be it staying, leaving or having some time apart from one another.

flashnazia

"There are 3 sides to every story. Your side, their side and the TRUTH."

minnie123

balletshoes wrote: »

If you expected him to look after his son for one day, did you tell him in advance? See I think this might be what other posters are getting at, you and your OH aren't on the same page because neither of you are actually communicating your expectations to each other.

I'm not for one minute excusing the way he apparently speaks to you though as you described - thats completely out of order as far as I'm concerned.

No I didnt ask him as I knew he was going out Sat so I didnt expect him to either I was always planning to look after my son myself.

nerak_y

He sounds uncannily like my ex. Not saying this could be the case here at all, but i discovered he was using steroids which wasn't helping his aggressive nature. It just rang a bell then you mentioned he is a gym goer.

I hope you are OK, and I can assure you nobody should accept being spoken to this way, regardless of the situation. I am so glad I can breathe again and not walk on eggshells. Good luck and I hope this improves. xx

tiff

Maybe its because youre 12 years younger than me but if my husband goes out I would usually expect him to be home by 1am, or earlier if just going to a pub. He once came home at 4am and I was worried to death, as it was he was drunk, walked home and fell over but as he takes warfarin he bled a lot and first of all I thought hed been in a fight!

He wouldnt like me coming home at that time, but I would have let him know if I really wanted to be out that late.

Even so, your husband shouldnt behave like he did. My husband would say he was worried about me but there would be no sulking or tantrums!