My partner is always in a bad mood with me so sad

marisco_2

justme111 wrote: »

Mind , it coyld gappen that an affair would make her realise how good her husband is (as often we take things for granted) and realise she wants to be with him and change relationship dynamic in a positive way .

That is horrendous logic.

All relationships go through ups and downs and at times couples can find that they take each other for granted. The key to a happy and healthy relationship is to recognise when this begins to happen. A strong couple have a willingness to work through things together and take the time and effort to keep things great between them. No-one would go jumping into bed with someone new, if they had any intention of making positive changes to the dynamics of their current relationship.

A woman should be able to recognise and value what she has with her husband, without the need to have an affair, for it to become obvious to her. To go behind your husbands back and commit adultery is the ultimate betrayal.

Your comment smacks of someone having their cake and eating it. You are suggesting that it is okay to try out someone new, in some sordid cheap fashion, to see how they compare to the one who is suppose to be most special to you. To behave like this would mean a person would be treating their partner with utter contempt. It also means that the cheater would be letting their life partner live a lie and be in a farce of a relationship. You can bet your bottom dollar if the affair were discovered most innocent parties would walk away from someone who could do that to them. Affairs are cold and calculated decisions that cause so much upset and pain.

justme111

We all know and agree on how it should be. No disagreement there.
Pauline , I do not advocate zumba if she feels sick just hearing the words "fitness class " . It's like saying when a baby is crying one ought to feed it -
If baby does not want to eat one may try other things . I just listed what could help , does not mean it is bound to help always to everybody , the key like with a baby is to try different things and if nothing helps try them again ..

Wickedkitten

justme111 wrote: »

Of course. Counselling may teach her how to . No use to tell one she needs to do something if she does not know how to. Better or worse - I guess it would depend at what moments one would be assessing her wellbeing haha. Mind , it coyld gappen that an affair would make her realise how good her husband is (as often we take things for granted) and realise she wants to be with him and change relationship dynamic in a positive way .

Until he finds out about it

justme111

once he finds out about it the situation will be solved as either a)it would become far worse so that it will not be possible to leave together anymore
b) he would ask for separation

paulineb_2

justme111 wrote: »

once he finds out about it the situation will be solved as either a)it would become far worse so that it will not be possible to leave together anymore
b) he would ask for separation

Giving someone advice to have an affair is ridiculous.

Dont talk. Just sleep with someone else. Problem solved.

justme111

Nothing of what I say is an advice.
This particular comment was an ironic one , as some people know in every joke there is part of joke ..
I am retiring from this topic now .

FBaby

I do see your point justme, but having an affair is more than just making things happen one way or the other. Psychologically, it can do a lot of damage and don't forget that they have a child together. Not fair on an innocent child to end up with parents who hate each other and use him as a tool to hurt the other.

You are right that what needs to happen is either them realise that they have something worth fighting for, or they might has well separate. It doesn't need to involve an affair. They can act like grown up, and take decisions, because I think that's what it often comes down to it, people being to focus on moaning rather than acting. We constantly have to do things we don't want to do (or feel we can't because we don't want to), but we do them because we know they need to be done. Confronting one's partner when we are not happy is one of these. Gosh I remember the dread I felt having to bring up a subject with my partner knowing he would go off the handle. Still I knew it needed to be done, and yes, each time, it leaves us knackered emotionally, but... it's through these discussions that we evolve positively in our relationship.