My partner is always in a bad mood with me so sad

mrcow

FBaby wrote: »

If he told me he was going out for a few hours, didn't get home until 4am drunk (and likely to wake me up), was useless all day, and then still having a lay-in the following day playing on his phone whilst I had to do everything, I would also be giving my OH dirty looks.

Really? Even if it was something that happened say once or twice a year?

Mine would be getting cups of tea and attention.

I think it's quite unattractive to act so childishly because your partner feels the need for some time off. If you did a similar thing, would he be sulking around you in the same way?

It sounds like you both work hard. The world won't fall apart if the house doesn't get cleaned as well one weekend.

BitterAndTwisted

FBaby that is so much codswallop I don't know where to start!

The OP is being terrorised by implied and actual threats. Every single day. I feel the time to challenge and negotiate was over some time ago.

FBaby

Really? Even if it was something that happened say once or twice a year?

Yes, I think there is nothing more disrespectful than not coming back before 4am (when I assume it wasn't expected), totally drunk (so likely disruptive) and then doing nothing for the rest of the week-end because they need to recover. That to me that IS childish and selfish behaviour.

Yes, if my partner did this without telling me before hand on the basis it was a special night out, I would be very cross indeed, and so would he the other way around. Even more so if he hadn't bothered to contact me and I would be left worried sick. The fact that it might only happen once or twice a year would make no difference to that fact that THAT event would make me feel cross indeed.

And of course, we only have the OP's account of the event, as always, posters always respond in a black or white manner, assuming that there are never two sides to the story.

BitterAndTwisted

What two sides of "I'll deal with you later", "it seems everything I do is wrong", "every time I do something for myself he makes me feel worthless" and "he does this nearly every day" can you find? I can't fathom any.

He's a controlling bully, and I fear that should the OP challenge him now after tolerating this behaviour for so long, the consequences could be dire.

Mojisola

minnie123 wrote: »

It seems every thins I do is wrong and I feel so sad. I work 30hrs a week then go and collect my son I do the majority of the cooking all the clothes washing and majority of the cleaning but it's still not good enough.

Every time I do something for myself he makes me feel worthless. Does it really matter if the house was messy for 1 day or if we chill out for a bit on a sunday morning.

I want to go out and get away but i cant because we have a car and a he has a work van but the car is shared so he will be in a mood with me if I use the car and why should I always get to use it??

Forget about the night out and what's followed - if this is your daily life, why on earth are you still living with this man?

tayforth

FBaby, there's playing devil's advocate, and there's what you wrote.

The OP's partner is using threatening, abusive language towards her. There's no question that he is out of order. And that's putting it *very* mildly.


OP - these articles and others like them helped me to realise that my OH has been abusing me mentally and emotionally. If you recognise any of these signs, then please speak to Women's Aid, the Samaritans, a trusted friend, your doctor - ANYONE.


http://m.voices.yahoo.com/five-signs-abusive-relationship-280338.html?cat=41


http://m.voices.yahoo.com/forms-abuse-physical-mental-emotional-sexual-isolation-673115.html?cat=41


You don't have to go through this alone xx

justme111

I can bet 100:1 she will not be able to explain it in a calm collected adult manner and he will not see she means what she says but will see it as a stroppy kids outburst

thehappybutterfly

I wonder how long it will be before someone comes on here and suggests that Minnie's BF might be "depressed"?

balletshoes

justme111 wrote: »

I can bet 100:1 she will not be able to explain it in a calm collected adult manner and he will not see she means what she says but will see it as a stroppy kids outburst

do you think its worth a try? If not, how do you suggest OP deals with this?

meer53

OP, if you continue to accept this, it is your fault. Either talk to your OH and let him know how he makes you feel, or, if you can't do this, leave him. He sounds like a complete control freak, i know because my ex was the same. If you don't do anything about it, in years to come, you will deeply regret it. It will affect your son in a big way, do something for him if you can't do it for yourself.