Savings when seperating- scared I will lose it all

Mojisola

teawithmilk wrote: »

He seems to be agreeable to DD being with me for Christmas Eve and first part of Christmas day and then go to him to stay with him on Christmas Day evening.

It is going to be such a sad Christmas for me- I think I will really feel it this year, even though Ex never really got involved it will still feel wierd not having a family Christmas, but I guess that was the choice I made I- cant feel sorry for myself about it can I !

Don't do that! Life is going to be so much better for you and your DD because you have made these changes.

You could plan some treat for yourself on Christmas Day evening so that you're seeing it as something positive once your DD goes off to her Dad.

Don't forget though - it is normal to feel sad and upset at the changes. Letting the emotions out is usually a way to process them so that you can move on. If you want to sit in front of a sad film and bawl your eyes out, do that.

NAR

TWM think positive about Christmas Day. You are getting the best part of the day - present opening, hugs and cuddles and then Christmas meal together.

So what if he has read the diary and other papers; it should just make him realise what a plonker he was to ignore all the efforts you made and the chances he got to change things.

dawyldthing

there is a way on some e-mails to get a 'receipt' for when someone has read it. I can't find it on outlook but there is definately an option: http://support.microsoft.com/kb/192929 here it is so he won't have an excuse to say he hasn't read it.

I think Christmas is overrated. I've worked the last 2 and recogn i'll be working this year, but its important to make the most of it even if its sitting down watching a good movie with a glass of wine

rpc

dawyldthing wrote: »

there is a way on some e-mails to get a 'receipt' for when someone has read it. I can't find it on outlook but there is definately an option: http://support.microsoft.com/kb/192929 here it is so he won't have an excuse to say he hasn't read it.

And you can set up your account never to send the receipt back to the sender. Little annoys me more than "I saw you read my email, why haven't you done anything yet?"

stripey1969

I'd think of Christmas night as some "me" time. Your favourite dinner, glass of wine, bubble bath, cheesy movie on the telly. Bliss!

You've had a very tough year, but I think it's safe to say you've impressed us all with your determination and resolve. xxx

Rosemary7391

teawithmilk wrote: »

I think my ex is a liar and can never stop lying. He is getting emails- because I sent him one this morning about access arrangements over Christmas and he has just responded. So he was lying about not getting e mails....I think it just suits him to say he doesnt get my e mails. My phone only stores text messages for about a month so I have lost all his older text messages. From now on I will forward on his texts to my e mail address so I have copies. Its just so time consuming having to keep copies of everything! He seems to be agreeable to DD being with me for Christmas Eve and first part of Christmas day and then go to him to stay with him on Christmas Day evening.

It is going to be such a sad Christmas for me- I think I will really feel it this year, even though Ex never really got involved it will still feel wierd not having a family Christmas, but I guess that was the choice I made I- cant feel sorry for myself about it can I !

I don't know what sort of phone you have, but if it's an android then there is an app (sms backup) that will automatically do this with a gmail account. I'd imagine there's something similar for other smartphones as well. Hope that helps a little.

tayforth

((((Hugs)))) TWM. I've just caught up on the last couple of pages. You're doing so well, and I like your positive attitude - you're right, you get all the exciting build up to Christmas with DD and then Christmas morning itself. Magical

You say that you did this so you can't complain - but I bet you don't even want to complain! You wouldn't go back to your ex for the sake of Christmas Day, would you? No. So relax and look forward to a great Christmas.

When I think about how miserable I was last year, and how happy and contented I am now, I'm amazed. I don't recognise that sad, lonely person. I was lonelier in my marriage than I am on my own!

Chin up - plan some Christmas shopping (and decorating) with your DD and look forward to your first Christmas in your new home.

NAR

TWM any update for us? It's been nearly 3 weeks since last news, hope things are steadily improving.

teawithmilk

Hello! Firstly I wanted to wish all my friends on MSE a very Merry Christmas- you have been so brilliant this year in giving me support and help. I am so grateful for all the advice and moral support.....

....secondly I apologise for not updating for a few weeks. I can't believe time has flown so quickly...Its my busiest time of year at work- 3 members of my team are off sick and my boss is in a foul mood. This afternoon I am the only person in my office apart from my boss - everyone else is either off sick or on holiday already. So I am having to man/woman the reception area as well as doing my own job. They have also changed the internet policy at work and are closely monitoring intenet useage so I have to be careful and I still haven't had time to sort out a landline or broadband at home!

My ex is still being awkward. He is still refusing to talk to me except by text message. Quite often if I send him a businesslike but polite text he will answer back with some sort of sarky childish response like "see you are still using business speak" I try and ignore this but it does wind me up...I think he hated it becuase I got a solicitor to manage my side of the divorce.....he also still hasn't offered or given me a penny towards DD. My good friend at work thinks that I should leave this issue until after the holidays, plus I am dreading the looming battle of trying to get him out of the rented house.

I am mamaging surprisingly well though. We are eating OK (I was worried that as I was a rubbish cook we would be living on convenience meals and junk) and comfy in the new house. DD sees my ex a couple of days per week after school but only really stays over 1 night per week with him.

I am not really looking forward to Christmas- DD is upset that we are not spending it as a family. I just dont know how to make her christmas special....we have a nice tree and are going to have a birthday party for one of her pets on Christmas Eve!!!

She is with me on Christmas Eve but has to go see her dad at lunchtime on Christmas day and will be staying with him on boxing day...thats what we agreed. I usually take her to the sales on boxing day and we spend my boots points...a bit like a girly tradition for the two of us but sadly we wont be able to do it this year.

what a year! I hope 2014 is better for me/us.

Any last minute suggestions for how I can make DDs Christmas a bit more "normal" and fun?? its going to be wierd for her having to split it between houses. And I will be so sad on Christmas day when I have to drop her off, although I shouldnt be feeling sorry for myself, I'm a grown up, I should be able to cope!!

girlatplay

Hi TWM

Thank you for updating us.

It's amazing just how much you learn to cook when you have to. I used to be a rubbish cook too but I learned as I went along and now I am not bad!

I don't have to share my DD with her dad as we have no contact with him so I can't really relate to that side of things but like others have said, make your time special for you when DD is not there. It will be lovely to have a birthday party on Christmas Eve for her pet. Do all the party stuff then settle down with a Christmas movie and a hot chocolate. Get up nice and early on Christmas morning to open presents together. Do you have crackers? You don't say if DD is going to her dad's for lunch or after lunch but if she is going for lunch then pull your crackers with your breakfast! Put the cracker hats on and tell the jokes. Set the table up the night before so that you can have Christmas breakfast at a Christmassy table. If it is after lunch she is going then do all that for lunch.

Go to the sales on 27th. There will still be stuff left and that means you will still get the tradition, just a day later. Unless you are back at work then, if so, do it on the Saturday.

Big hugs to you and DD. Make the best of the Christmas you will have. Don't worry too much about the dates. x