Savings when seperating- scared I will lose it all

paulineb_2

Does your landlord know you have split up with your ex and moved out (Im sure its been mentioned previously). I do think you need to either get the lease transferred into his name asap or give up the lease and hes responsible for where he goes from here, as someone else said, you could be in for problems later on, if he stopped paying the rent for example, leaving you liable

And dont wait to get the CSA involved, if hes not paying enough child support, he needs to stand on his own two feet and get on with life and that includes money management and paying for your daughter.

RAS

Mojisola wrote: »

Will that letter go to the old address?

Have you set up mail re-direct?

The problems with the situation is that the only ways you can terminate your tenancy are

1. To provide vacant possession at the end of the fixed term. Which requires ex to move out. NOTE: you are not required to give any notice to leave at the end of a fixed term, as long as you are out by 11.59pm on the last day.

2. To give notice that you are leaving; which means you have to be able to provide vacant possession and requires ex to move out. If he does not then you will be charged the penalty rent (double the normal).

So you need to be pro-active.

Either nudge ex enough to get him to seek the tenancy (which requires that the LL gives you two months' notice so has to be done early in the New Year and waiting for the LL is dangerous).

Or ask the LL to kindly serve you notice so that ex can start the process of taking the tenancy over. The LL may be glad for a new let with little work to do.

If you wait until the LL writes to you you are almost certainly going to find it is too late for the LL to let ex take over the tenancy in March.

teawithmilk

There is always the possibility that the LL might not want to continue renting it out. A few houses in that street have sold rencelty at good prices (its a popular area- I know because my new house is just around the corner literally- you can almost see my house from the old house's bedroom window!) so I know prices have been shooting up.

LL might want to sell- just a possibility! so yes my ex does need to get his act together. He was irritated that back in Sept when I renewed lease I didnt do it for 12 months. But I felt uneasy enough just doing it for 6 months never mind tying myself into it for 12!

When_the_going_gets_tough

teawithmilk you have done so well and like other posters I am concerned that you don't get left with a problem with the tenancy. RAS has given you some helpful advice and I would second their suggestions. You need to approach either the LL direct or your ex. I would give him a chance to take over the tenancy - perhaps a joint meeting with the LL would be the way forward, but if he rejects this talk to the LL direct about issuing a s21 notice. As a tenant without much practical control you are vulnerable, there are legal remedies but they are time consuming and expensive, so I think you do need to micro manage this. I think there is an argument for leaving the child maintenance until the tenancy situation is resolved, as you could run into a lot of costs here if it is not handled carefully. Good luck you will sort this out.

triple_choc_chip

teawithmilk wrote: »

Felt bad for not even mentioning that there was a parents evening to ex, but he had already told DD he couldnt see her last night anyway as he had a late meeting at work.

I just couldnt face having to give him a lift to school and listening to him moaning in the car, or being critical of her teachers.

I know I'm nagging and I apologise in advance, but notifying him of a meeting does NOT equate to giving him a lift ANYWHERE or at ANYTIME.
"Not my problem" would be an appropriate response to any requests for favours. He's on his own now, stop mothering him. x

Also you can ask school to inform him separately, it's no longer your responsibility to keep him in the loop.

teawithmilk

Hi is anyone around today to give me a second opinion i have just had big row with ex (by text msg)
basically DD stayed at her friends house last night as a treat (sleepover). Friday is usually when she goes to her Dads. I told him earler in the week about the sleepover and he was a bit grumpy about it. He never mentioned her staying with him on Saturday. So i just got a text asking when was I dropping her off. He was obviously assuming that as he had missed out on his Friday with her I would forfeit Saturday and drop her off for 24 hrs with him. She is tired and grumpy and told me she just wants to stay with me tonight (I told her that her dad wanted to see her) so now he is furiuos and ranting at me by text message threatening to take the phone her gave her off her or not top it up (the only financial thing he does for her- he tops it up by a fiver or so per month) because "she never keeps in contact with him"

I know he cant physically do anything to me but whenever he gets like this i get a sick butterfly feeling as if im scared of him. . .its stupid really but I cant help it. He is furious. I didnt help things as I also lost my temper and sent a text saying right dont pay for her phone then pay me some proper child maintenance and I will top her up. I know it souns ridiculous but Im still scared of him.

19lottie82

TWM, my partner (who is the RP for his two girls), has had similar problems with his ex when the kids want to attend sleepovers / parties on her nights. He has explained to her that he is not going to tell the kids that they can't go, if she wants to then that's her responsibility as it is during the time that she has them.

Also, as young girls get older, these sleepovers will become more frequent, so your ex will need to understand that.

But as some immediate advice.... Ignore his texts, switch off your phone if need be and enjoy your time with your DD.

teawithmilk

thanks lottie, I have gone out of my way, especially in the early stages of break up, to get her to maintain contact but sometimes she is just out of sorts and doesnt want to go (esp when he is clearly in a bad mood) Im just so angry with myself that I can still get scared and unsettled by his bad reaction to things- he will think I have done it on purpose. I have already agreed that she can go stay over with him for the WHOLE of his birtday weekend which is mid -Dec so he is clearly forgetting I have already been reasobable myself there. And she was at her friends last night- not jollying it up with me, so I didnt get to see her either!

19lottie82

If your ex sounded like a reasonable chap and you have set access nights, I would tell your DD that as the sleepover is on daddy's night, she will need to ask him if it's ok to go. But he doesn't, so I won't.

As I tell my OH when it comes to his unreasonable ex, she can shout and tamp her feet as much as she likes, that doesn't mean she is in the right, or he has to give in.

Let your ex rant and rave, as long as you know you have done the best thing for your DD, just ignore him. He will soon get fed up when he sees he's not getting a reaction.

teawithmilk

well I was quite happy to take her round first thing to his place so she could spebd all day with him. . . but he wouldnt accept that. I dont have official residency order or anything but I know by instinct she would rather have me as her main home- she loves her Dad but she wouldnt want to stay with him full time. She is so much more secure in every way with me.