Savings when seperating- scared I will lose it all

teawithmilk

Im not angry, just a wee bit envious!! My colleagues can be really awful sometimes gloating about things....they are nice people but not very nice when they all get together as a "pack" and start showing off.

I'd like to be in a position in a few months to start saving and making plans for DD in case she needs support with uni fees or whatever else she needs. Just wished I could have done it sooner rather than later but I need to just keep telling myself I cant do everything at once.

LannieDuck

There's no need to apologise. You're just a bit overwhelmed at the moment, and no wonder.

Try to ignore the things you can't do anything about, and deal with those you can one at a time.

Mojisola

teawithmilk wrote: »

I
I'd like to be in a position in a few months to start saving and making plans for DD in case she needs support with uni fees or whatever else she needs. Just wished I could have done it sooner rather than later but I need to just keep telling myself I cant do everything at once.

I would concentrate on the present - you'll have a lot of demands on your money in the short term. Youngsters can manage to get through uni without parental savings if they have to.

Build up some good memories with your daughter now rather than saying no to lots of things now just so she'll have some money later on.

DigForVictory

We won't be able to send our lads off to Uni with much money, but my word the memories & skills they'll take with them.
Cooking, cleaning, using a Launderette, and your lass will be up there with painting, decorating, practical interior design on a budget and the absolute certainty her mum loves her. That latter is priceless!

Where you've a bit of garden that you see regularly, plant a handful of bulbs? They're the promise of good things.

NAR

Hi TWM well done on getting the keys.
How many people walk into a perfect house? Very few, so you are in the same boat as most.
With regards smacking daughter, you know you went too far and apologised - hopefully she realises the same!
Mum is a situation you could do without at this time, as others have said try and get your siblings to take a bigger role until you get yourself sorted.
Royal Mail, no point crying over spilt milk. Yes the money would have been useful, but you missed out so forget about it.
Concentrate on your presentation and do your best.
Moving in on Friday will start you realising you have your own "castle."
DD's future education can wait a year or so, until you get your house into the state you want it to be.

I agree with others, there is a heck of a lot all going on at once in your life, you do need to sit down and prioritise and time manage how you are going to move forward.
I won't even comment on your ex :mad:

Good luck with everything TWM - I think you are a star! :T Look back at your first few posts and remind yourself how far you have come.

Treevo

teawithmilk - can you afford to pay professional cleaners to go over the new house? It might cost £100-200 maybe but it'll probably be so worth it just to avoid the stress of it. Plus, it'll help for when you show the house to your daughter.

teawithmilk

I did buy a groupon for a full houseclean a month or two ago with this in mind! but I was going to use it to clean the rented house when imove out or my mums flat...the new house isnt really dirty (the vendors were nice people and left it tidy) its just looking sorry for itself with no furniture or washing machine etc. And its a bit dusty which is inevitable.

Ive been to Home Bs and bought loads of air fresheners this lunchtime and I'm going to blitz the new house with the vacuum tomorrow. Also taking DD to a well known DIY store tomorrow after school (!) to choose some paint. She has two bedrooms to choose from..both approximately same size .Im having the biggest room and Im sticking to that...Im not taking any emotional blackmail from her to blag the master bedroom from me!!!

Sounds silly but I dont have time to take her to see the house tonight. I Will be working until after 5pm to get this presentation done...then I have to pick up DD, get some groceries and cook and then it will be getting dark.

I have booked Friday off for THE BIG MOVE!!!

Rooibos

My “castle” is an end terrace ex-council house so perhapsnot that dissimilar to yours!

Like you my garden is much smaller than I would have liked.This summer was my second summer here – I’ve lifted patio flags, dug up graveland heaped in bags of compost. I’ve had cuttings from family, grown from seedand bought from B & Q where they sell off sad plants for 50p or £1 thatneed some love and attention. I painted my shed seaside blue and draped it indaisy solar lights. I had my birthday family party in the garden this year –everyone loved it!

I think someone mentioned planting some bulbs? That’s abrilliant idea and every spring will remind you how far you will have come.

Something I wonder that might help your daughter as you movein is to buy her a biggish (MSE) picture frame and if you have any old family photos,including those with dad in, make acollage with her to put in her room. On my son’s 13th birthday, afew weeks after the split, in temper (understandable) he smashed up some oldphotos. The next day I kept him off school, took him to boy shops and made a collage,which he still has in his room.

Meanwhile – did you take any photos of the two of you,either together or separate, while you were away in the summer? Get themprinted and stuck up on the kitchen wall – use blu tac if you have to! Takesome of you moving in, and get them up there too - time to make some newmemories!

And if you can do take some time off work – you deserve it.

PS - buy a couple of those trendy word things with "Love" and "Home" on them! :T
PPS – hope your mum is ok.

teawithmilk

Thank you, you are all so kind, I wish I could hug you all.

Had another panic attack this morning as I have about six bunches of keys to manage at the moment (including work ones) and lost my car keys so didnt think I could come to work!

Got my presentation in about half an Hour so just having a tea break.

I am so much happier, it may be a temporary feeling, but DD has seen the house and loves it!!

I picked her up yesterday, she seemed in a better mood and we had a cuddle and made up about the argument we had and she asked me if I had the keys ....I took a deep breath and took her round. All the things that I thought she would hate she actually likes and she was even getting excited about having a compost bin (??!!) She is even saying he is not bothered about painting her room (as it has been recently reecorated by the vendors so its clean and fresh) and its a nice pale blue anyway. I wish that could tell her we own it, but will have to keep quiet about it for the moment so she doesnt tell her dad.

She seems more bothered about buying curtains instead! so panic over for the moment, just have to worry about juggling the move out and keeping sane.

Thanks everyone xx

neneromanova

Now the house is in your name, I really would make arrangements for your ex to start paying you CSA. Just the little bit of extra money could help you feel less stressed about everything

Well done for getting so far on your own. You're a lot tougher than you think you are, I know that I for one wouldn't be able to do what you have. We all may talk big on this forum but when it actually comes to the crunch, most of us would fail but you haven't.