Savings when seperating- scared I will lose it all

NAR

Excellent news about the house. :beer:

He expected you to pay for his house contents insurance! Perhaps you should have told him you were cancelling/not renewing, but at the end of the day it is his responsibility. Losing the bike is his own stupidity, you do right not to get involved.

Just keep snipping away at the "ties" between you and you will be completely rid soon.

thorsoak

Have you told him, TWM, that he now has to pay for
(1) electricity;
(2) water rates;
(3) council tax (and he can claim a 25% discount);
(4) his own insurances???????

teawithmilk

Yes I am not subsidising him anymore. He grumbled like mad about the cost but I worked it all out and e mailled it to him. Basically the agreement I have is that the bills stay in my name FOR NOW....I dont want the electricity being cut off and the landlord going ballistic....and he transfers a set amount at the start of each month to cover all utilities- ie gas/leccy, water, council tax and BT. Ive told him if he doesnt pay it I will completely embarrass him by phoning his mum and boss to tell them. It has been a culture shock to him to see how much it costs. I have said categorically that the lease is until March and he has to make arrangements by then. He had the cheek to say he wasnt too happy with that and he wanted a 12 month lease! I have had no thank you or gratitude from him, just bolshyness but I have come to expect that. He just expected and assumed I would do it but it is the last favour I am EVER doing for him unless it involves the welfare of DD- he is going to have to stand on his own two feet- I have "carried" him and sorted out his problems for 20 years and wont do it any more.

I think I am being incredibly fair (and stupid- its so risky) but DD was distraught that he might disapear and she wouldnt know where he is. And from a cynical point of view if and when I go to the CSA I know where he is. Plus I would have had to have ALL stuff out of the house (including his stuff) by now and I just didnt have the energy to deal with all that conflict when things are so stressful in my job, at home and with the house purchase.

stripey1969

Blimey, he's so outrageous! You'd think him finding out how much you've paid and organised over the years might open his eyes to how unfair he was being, but it just seems to make him more convinced that YOU'RE the one being unfair! He's behaving like a toddler. You're well-shot of him. Roll on moving in day! xx

RAS

twm

Make sure that you do not let on to DD that you own the house (or the mortgage rather) until after that tenancy ends.

That means not leaving letters lying around where DD can see them or find as well. You need him to pay up the rent to the end and the utilities. Insist that you get a reading every month and adjust the charges.

It might however be a good idea to get your name off the Council Tax because then you are no longer liable and you are educucating him on paying bills.

Remember as well that CT and water rates usually have "free months" in February and March so take your name off the accounts then.

teawithmilk

Well my husband still isnt speaking to me so the routine of dropping DD off without going into the old house continues!

I have instructed solicitor to exchange contracts so tats it- once they have exchanged today I am committed to buying now!

I revisited the house last Friday and everything seeemed fine, no walls knocked down or anything untoward so I have left it as long as poss to exchange ...

Am now just worrying about the risk of such a big financial committment without a clean break agreement. But then I cant keep my life on hold forever.

DD is sad about moving out of the little house we have been renting, she was in tears yesterday, she loves living there. But the landlord has put it on the market (I think they always wanted to sell it anyway rather than rent it out) so i was tyring to explain to her that the landlord might have sold it anyway/ I havent told her I am buying the house yet.

A week to go now before I get the keys!! I feel excited now, but slightly queasy.

thorsoak

Does DD know anything about the new house yet? If not, take her to see it, and reassure her that this house will be a "forever" home, where she can put her pictures on the walls of her room, without having to worry about the landlord, that her new bedroom furniture can be put in there in whatever arrangement she likes.

You don't have to tell her that you have actually bought it - you can tell her that you have it for X no of years (the length of the mortgage, if you like) and maybe even longer. You won't be lying to her, just not dotting all the "i"s and crossing all the "t"'s!

You really have come such a long way!

RAS

twm

I think you need to start by explaining to DD that you have to move again because the LL is selling. And that you wll be able to live in the new house for years.

Keep the info re buying quiet for now, she does not need to know.

You need to get your stuff out of the old house by the end of October? In which case after that is done, and you are in the new house, you need to start thinking about the clean break.

If nothing else try to e-mail the ex and ask him to agree to the following? Even better get something in writing.

However, I think you mentioned that he had a good pension pot? If so you would be entitled to some of that.

I am surprised your lawyer has allowed this to go on.

NAR

Sorry but I disagree with above posters. Wait until you have exchanged contracts and have keys, in case there is a last minute disaster, that way there will be no further disappointment for daughter.
Keep calm you are nearly there.

Errata

RAS wrote: »

twm


I am surprised your lawyer has allowed this to go on.

Why? Solicitors advise and inform clients and take instruction. They don't 'allow' anything.