Savings when seperating- scared I will lose it all

Kayalana99

I don't know why your getting on your high horse about it. I am only trying to help, and I havn't been though it but I do know one person in particular with kids who managed it just fine (But then they were both fair about it). Obvouisly every situation is differernt and if OP feels the need which since she has already looked into pricing then she is most likey going down the solictor route but I was only giving my opinion.

I am still sticking to my guns, as I see it as a waste of money unless he is unwilling to see reason.

Feel free to tell me twice but it won't change my point of view

paulineb_2

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I don't know why your getting on your high horse about it. I am only trying to help, and I havn't been though it but I do know one person in particular with kids who managed it just fine (But then they were both fair about it). Obvouisly every situation is differernt and if OP feels the need which since she has already looked into pricing then she is most likey going down the solictor route but I was only giving my opinion.

I am still sticking to my guns, as I see it as a waste of money unless he is unwilling to see reason.

Feel free to tell me twice but it won't change my point of view

Maybe because shes a retired lawyer and might know a bit about legal matters?

teawithmilk

Thanks Im just here briefly as things have kicked off a bit at home.

Got good advice from solicitor I will feedback when i can.

stupid stupid me was rushing out house this morning and left my list of questions by the kettle. He got in before me and has obviously read it. At the bottom of the page it said I had 30k savings and I had written the question.....can he take them from me...gotta go as I dont want him to see me typing...and now he is being unnaturally nice to me....offering to take me out for dinner....

LannieDuck

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carefullycautious

oh dear sounds like something I would do.

I could not live with someone who had so little disregard for our finances today and for the future.

I would just tell him that I was leaving, pack up and go to your little bungalow and let the divorce courts sort it out.

I know I would rather leave with the clothes I stood up in for peace of mind than carry this waster.

Treevo

Valli wrote: »

Unfortunately, yes. (because you're married)

It's not as simple as that.

teawithmilk

He's not stupid. I wouldnt be surprised if he has taken note of exactly what i had written. The one thing i didnt want him to know! Why am I such an idiot. I've just had too much on my mind I was rushing out this am, trying to get my DD out to school.... I had to think on my feet v quickly and say that my mum was considering lending me 30k as a house deposit, then he said "why does it say CAN HE TAKE MY SAVINGS FROM ME?" on the bottom of the page. Ive hidden the piece of paper now. It did have all the details on it, about his debts and house transactions etc even deatils about pensions..so much for being organised, ive given it all away now.

Its my birthday tmorrow so I wasnt intending any disruption over the weekend (for my daughters sake more than mine as I know she has planned to give me presents tomorrow and breakfast in bed) there is no furniture yet in the bungalow. I was also going to wait a week until I had got basic furniture from gumtree and also my DD has her SATS in a week- she is already anxious about them. I quickly texted my friend and she said I should come clean but I just wanted to wait a wk or two until i had my facts 100% straight.

What a mess. He is being unnaturally nice, offering me cups of tea, to go out to dinner, he says he has booked a trip away to seaside tomorrow so I feel like a complete lady dog at the moment. What a stupid stupid thing to do.

LannieDuck

Accidents happen, especially when you're so busy. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Nothing's changed except now he definitely knows about the savings (he probably would have found out about them at some time anyway), and if he can read between the lines, he knows you're considering separating. Again, that's something you would have had to tell him soon anyway.

All this does is force your hand a little... and I can see why that makes you anxious if you hadn't completely decided to leave him.

I think you're right to wait until after your daughter's SATS before you do anything. Gives you time to get some basic furniture for the flat.

Was the finance phonecall helpful?

teawithmilk

Yes, but the girl I spoke to sounded v young (showing my age!)

she said that if i bought a house in the next 6 months but he didnt move into it, so it never became the marital home, he would have less of a claim on it. She is sending me an e mail summarising what she said. I might get a 2nd opinion from my brothers solicitor. Just want to be crystal clear as this house/security of knowing where we are living issue is so important to me.

its all down to how the courts view assets anyway she said so she couldnt give me a definative answer. I will wait and see what the e mail says. I came home in a good mood until I found out what an idiot I had been leaving info lying around.

I could get a nice 2 bed house round here, nothing fancy, for 135k...so with 5k (approx) set aside for costs I could put down a 35k deposit and borrow 100k which would be a repayment I could afford over 25yrs repayment mortgage....especially if I fixed it for a few yrs but Id need to put aside money for divorce solicitors

Mrs_Imp

The optimist in me says that maybe he saw the piece of paper and it suddenly occurred to him what he is potentially about to lose and it's given him a kick up the bum to try and resolve things.