Savings when seperating- scared I will lose it all

tayforth

Let us know how you get on. Big hugs xxx

teawithmilk

I have my appointment by telephone this afternoon, I feel sick, can't concentrate, Im not able to do anything at work because I can't concentrate just so worried about what to do.

I'm trying to put together a list of questions ready for this afternoon. I have looked at the Forn E online and it looks awful. If I lied and didnt declare an ISA I suppose I would be in contempt of court? Stupid question, I know the answer.

Ok heres a scenario......if I put every penny of my savings into the deposit for a house, bought it and moved in with DD I wouldnt have anything to declare savings-wise other than ownership of the house.

Would he then be able to force me to sell it if we were living in it and she was less than 18? or would they just go:

Ok, her house is worth 140,000 the mortgage is 110,000 she owes him half of 30k "equity" (ie 20k) and I'd have to pay up 15k to him somehow...this wouldnt be practical as I would have blown my savings on the house! and I wouldn't be able to afford to get into debt to give him the 15k.

Or am I just being stupid?? I feel like just giving him 15k cheque right now and telling him to sod off. But he wouldnt pay his debts off and I'd still be at square one. I found an old statement of his from CCCS last night (by conincidence) when I was tidying up. It looks like he still had his DMP last year - he owes 47k and is paying 70 pounds per month towards it...I had to laugh because it said his debt free day would be 2043!!!!! he would be 75!!!!

He is just crusing along at the moment because he is getting good wage but not declared this to CCCS so he has no incentive to clear his debts when they are only taking £70 per month from him and the debt is slowly going down as interest has been frozen. Even if I gav him money he wouldnt use it for debts, Ive already cleared his debts for him twice in the past.

gizmo111

Stop worrying about it.
Buy the house and if the court decide that he is entitled to some of your deposit then he cant force you to sell the house whilst your daughter is in education, and until there is likely to be a restriction on the house for his share which is not likely to be 50% maybe much less. You both have an duty o provide a home for your child. How old is the child?

teawithmilk

She is 10 (eleven in June)

All I ever wanted was a bit of security for her......preferably in the shape of a house that we wouldnt be forced to move out of! Im Sick of moving house and having to deal with all bills and tenancy agreements on my own and be paying £100 every six months just to renew tenancies and have house inspections and the worry that houses might get sold by the landlord. Just want a peaceful life, my DD keeps saying she wants a little house that we can call "peace and quiet cottage" ...where we can just bake and make things and have a happy, simple life...she hates the arguing. My friend at work said that if I ever manage to get out of this situation I'm in and DO get a little house she will have a sign saying just that made for me to hang over the door!! And DD is getting old enough to realise and understand a bit of what is being said between us when we have arguments now, and I hate that. He doesn't seem to care what he says in front of her.

gizmo111

Then you have years before he can have a share of any money.
Move into your rented house
Give notice on this one
Go and buy a property
Then when you are settled start divorce proceedings.

Kayalana99

Unless it turns out she has to share the debt which she may be stuck with £XXk worth to pay off and no savings as its all in a house...but yes they can't force you to sell.

This is why your having this phone call hun don't stress about it !!

Just make sure you get as much information as possible before doing anything hasty X

NAR

Ask your solicitor's advice about sinking £30k into a house for you and your daughter now (as you will have nowhere else to live when you leave him). As you are just separating this will take quite a time to come to court for the divorce and division of marital assets anyway.

Get/keep as much evidence as you can regarding your OH's debts and financial affairs (though he will be expected to disclose these anyway). The more practical ammunition you have for your solicitor the better; then they can ask your OH the awkward questions.

Ask your solicitor for some indication of timescales for each stage from now to the divorce comes to court.

Unfortunately your pension will be classed as a marital asset and you probably will lose a portion of it, unless you can "buy him out" of it. Your solicitor will advise you of your options.

LannieDuck

Good luck with it today. Try not to worry too much beforehand - it's all the 'unknowns' that are stressing you out, and that's why you're seeking advice.

Personally, I would be totally honest with the solicitors - they can't give you accurate guidance if they don't know the whole picture. What you need from them is advice on how to manage your finances so that you maximise your chances of keeping the savings, and minimise your chances of adopting the debt. There may not be a perfect solution, so you need to figure out the best possible position.

iamashoppingaddict

As you think of things write them down like you are doing. Even if you think they are totally stupid. You'll kick yourself after you've put the phone down otherwise!!

zzzLazyDaisy

You are right, this is complicated and you do need advice from a solicitor.

The base line when divorcing is that all pensions, assets, and debts are put into the pot and shared out 50/50 BUT that is only the starting point.

The courts have the power to re-adjust shares according to what is just and equitable. Some things that they take into account are who has responsibility for taking care of the child(ren) and providing a home, whether the NRP is paying maintenance, who has incurred the debts and what the money went on (ie are they matrimonial debts, or his personal debts - your OH can be ordered to produce copies of his credit card statements to show how the money has been spent).

If you leave and buy a home for yourself and your child, you will use some of the money to set up home and furnish it. That money will be gone and as it is a legitimate expense it is unlikely to be taken into account. So probably your best bet is not to rush into divorce, but to get yourself and your daughter settled and give him time to show his true colours re maintenance, and also re incurring further debt after you have left (which will be an indicator of whether it is you or he who has run the debts up). You should also make the solicitor/court aware that you have already paid his debts off once - one way to do this is to petition on 'unreasonable behaviour' grounds, and include details of his behaviour with money as part of the reason that you find it unreasonable to continue living with him.

Hopefully you will be able to keep the money invested in the house. My cousin, in very similar circumstances, got most of the proceeds of sale of the matrimonial home because she had to provide a home for the children and he had already remortgaged twice to buy expensive cars, for himself and he got stuck with his huge credit card debts because he refused to comply with a court order to produce the statements. But even if the court says he is entitled to a share of the house, it is unlikely that you would have to sell the house and more likely that you would have until your daughter is 18 to find the money to pay him off.

Please, whatever you do, don't be tempted to hide or dispose of the money. You will both have to give full disclosure of your income and assets on oath as part of the divorce. It sounds like he is likely to be difficult and you need to make sure that you are whiter than white, in case you need to complain to the court about his conduct in the divorce.