Savings when seperating- scared I will lose it all

zzzLazyDaisy

teawithmilk wrote: »

Since 2010 I have been saving like mad and with the money I got fro the equity from the house I have savings which he doesnt know about of around 35k..

This is from OP's first post.

She says that her savings of £35K include money she got from the equity, which has since been topped up by savings.

This may very well be relevant, as the money was split in terms that were agreeable to them at the time. He squandered his share and she saved her share. There is a very good argument that he should not get a share of that part of the savings that comprises the balance of the equity from the previous house on just and equitable grounds.

Or am I just completely missing the point somewhere?

teawithmilk

Thanks, so that clarifies that what went before is irrelevant. His arguing that he should have got half the equity is just pointless. He did actually get nearly half the equity if you add up what I paid back to his mum plus what I gave him once I had paid my debts off (which he then squandered over the period of 18 months) and if i cant even remember what happened as it was so complicated at the time then he wont be able t figure it out.

So the savings I have now dont relate to the house we sold at all.

I feel like just saying to him- heres 10k now "P" off.

teawithmilk

sorry you are correct, around 6k of what I have now was remaining from the equity as I shoved it in an ISA

LannieDuck

teawithmilk wrote: »

I feel like just saying to him- heres 10k now "P" off.

You might eventually get to that stage, but make sure that if you do it goes along with a signed and sealed final divorce.

NAR

TWM don't be overconcerning yourself with this now. The Financial Consent Order is a long way away at this stage. By the time you come to discuss the terms for this you will have sunk your lump sum into your new house.

Your solicitor will advise and negotiate on your behalf at that time. The fact that your solicitor has said your costs will be higher you will need to factor that in to your finances. I think you definitely need to lodge a claim with CSA, use that money to look after DD and then pay solicitor with money saved.

rpc

Even if you don't need it (and I suspect you do), if you put in the CSA claim then you can shove it in savings and use that to pay him off for any of "your" assets that he gets a share of. It might not make a massive difference, but why not?

Errata

She aslo ssaid that because I have ben asking her lots of questions my estimated costs/her quote will go up!

You've mentioned in previous posts that you will both have a pension on retirement - has the solicitor already explained pension splitting? If she hasn't, do some research yourself before you discuss it with her.

teawithmilk

yes, i will have a much bigger pension pot than him too.

carefullycautious

I would be using the information you have given above as reason for you wanting a divorce. He cannot expect to not work and have 50/50split on everything you have saved surely.

How you can feel any sadness for him is beyond me he sounds as if he is a calculating so and so if he is still trying to take your hard earned money from you. STOP supporting him now and make him behave like a responsible adult.

And you are strong even if you don't feel like it. Big cyber hugs to you.

teawithmilk

Thanks, well another two days has passed and he is still not communicating with me (except by text message about DD) He is being a bit childish now- e.g. the other day I turned up to pick up DD and I was half an hour early as I had forgotten I had told him 8pm and not 7.30pm and he made me go away for half an hour and wait exactly until 8pm!

I asked if he wanted her to go round on Friday as usual and stay over and he texted back yes, and she should stay until teatime. So that means I wil have another Saturday on my own to ponder.

Survey has come back with a few minor points- its so long since I bought a house I dont know if they are worth trying to get money knocked off agreed purchase price or not, or getting vendor to sort them out. I will go over to housebuying forum and ask!

Just feeling exhausted all the time at the moment...DD keeps saying she wants to go home...meaning us move back in with her Dad.

Maybe I have rushed into buying this house too quickly, maybe I should've just seperated from him instead of going for full divorce but Im feeling like Ive got so into the process now that it would be stupid to draw it to a close.

I've realised how much i already do as a single parent- Im having to get DD ready for high school, parents evenings, thinkng about scool buses, uniform etc...all on my own... im not complaining but it is hard work when you are on your own and working full time. I just need to sit back and get more energy. Im trying to avoid doing unneccesary things and just concentrate on whats important at the moment.

I want to crawl under a stone for a few days!