Savings when seperating- scared I will lose it all

Errata

I just need to keep plodding on because no one else is going to do it for me.

That's right, you're now responsible for everything so head down and sleeves rolled up and do what you must do, but make sure you're doing everything in the right order and not charging here, there and everywhere at the same time. Make a list, prioritise, and things will be more in control and easier to achieve.

teawithmilk

Errata- in some respects I do feel like backing out of the offer I made on that house. But all the reasons I wanted it in the first place are still there: ongoing stability for DD, Im not getting any younger so getting a mortgage in another 12 months might be even more difficult, I have had everything approved and have paid all survey fees etc, plus its a really nice house, in a brilliant convenient location, and its the right price for me....the only thing it doesnt have which was on my wish list was a garage....and completion of the conveyancing ties in nicely with a bit of overlap with the end of the tenancy on house number 2 (my nice little bungalow) that I'm renting. So I could get all stuff from house 1 that he is in, into the garage at house 2 which i'm currently living in with DD (or rent an extra store unit if necessary for a month or two) then have an overlap of a couple, of weeks to get all my stuff from house 2 into my new (bought) house ...its a massive job but it must be possible.......and it means that myself and DD could hopefully be in our nice new (bought) house by the end of October ready to settle in for the winter. And hopefully I wouldnt have to move again until they put me in an old folks home- Im hoping its going to be my "forever" house and I never need to move house again.

Errata

OK, I hope everything goes smoothly and good luck.

zzzLazyDaisy

teawithmilk wrote: »

I just need to keep plodding on because no one else is going to do it for me.

So not much has changed there, then?

Oh, no, wait! At least now you have no-one else sabotaging you either...

Hugs x

kelpie35

Good luck OP with everything you are trying to achieve.

You are a strong person and a devoted mum.

You and your DD deserve happiness and it looks as if you are on the long road to discovering it.

As suggested by many people who have been in your position, make a list, beginning with the CSA, and tick each one as you go along.

Please take care of yourself x

Mojisola

teawithmilk wrote: »

I shouldnt feel sorry for myself but just feel like Im so alone.

Don't be so hard on yourself! I think you're fully entitled to feel sorry for yourself - just don't let it stop you moving ahead.

Plan a few feel-good sessions for yourself - whatever will help you relax - a day walking in the country, a night in with a favourite film and a take away, whatever's right for you.

tattycath

teawithmilk wrote: »

Errata- in some respects I do feel like backing out of the offer I made on that house. But all the reasons I wanted it in the first place are still there: ongoing stability for DD, Im not getting any younger so getting a mortgage in another 12 months might be even more difficult, I have had everything approved and have paid all survey fees etc, plus its a really nice house, in a brilliant convenient location, and its the right price for me....the only thing it doesnt have which was on my wish list was a garage....and completion of the conveyancing ties in nicely with a bit of overlap with the end of the tenancy on house number 2 (my nice little bungalow) that I'm renting. So I could get all stuff from house 1 that he is in, into the garage at house 2 which i'm currently living in with DD (or rent an extra store unit if necessary for a month or two) then have an overlap of a couple, of weeks to get all my stuff from house 2 into my new (bought) house ...its a massive job but it must be possible.......and it means that myself and DD could hopefully be in our nice new (bought) house by the end of October ready to settle in for the winter. And hopefully I wouldnt have to move again until they put me in an old folks home- Im hoping its going to be my "forever" house and I never need to move house again.

I'm sure it will be doable hun. As you say,you are doing it for stability for your DD etc. I think you should continue with the purchase as it sounds like it ticks nearly all the boxes-and you have spent the money for the surveys etc and should be more settled once its all sorted.

LannieDuck

teawithmilk wrote: »

Errata- in some respects I do feel like backing out of the offer I made on that house. But all the reasons I wanted it in the first place are still there: ongoing stability for DD, Im not getting any younger so getting a mortgage in another 12 months might be even more difficult, I have had everything approved and have paid all survey fees etc, plus its a really nice house, in a brilliant convenient location, and its the right price for me....the only thing it doesnt have which was on my wish list was a garage....and completion of the conveyancing ties in nicely with a bit of overlap with the end of the tenancy on house number 2 (my nice little bungalow) that I'm renting. So I could get all stuff from house 1 that he is in, into the garage at house 2 which i'm currently living in with DD (or rent an extra store unit if necessary for a month or two) then have an overlap of a couple, of weeks to get all my stuff from house 2 into my new (bought) house ...its a massive job but it must be possible.......and it means that myself and DD could hopefully be in our nice new (bought) house by the end of October ready to settle in for the winter. And hopefully I wouldnt have to move again until they put me in an old folks home- Im hoping its going to be my "forever" house and I never need to move house again.

This paragraph summarises exactly why this is such a positive move for you. Do you think you'll be happy there once you're in? If so, go for it.

But I understand that's easy to say when it's not me that has to do all the running around and hard work....:rotfl:

teawithmilk

Thank you all so much for your kind words, it means so much to have a bit of encouragement. I dont have a crystal ball so it might all go pear shaped with this house purchase but I know how difficult it might be to get a mortgage in 12 months time for me- the mortgage advisor at the building society was already saying I was at a disadvantage due to my age- I've had to go for a 21 yr mortgage which puts the payments up rather than a 25 as it is so difficult apparently to get a mortgage beyond retirement age without proving income (pension) etc

It may well not end up being the perfect house for me and maybe I was a bit overemotional when I went to view it but it had an nice atmosphere and felt like a well loved house- its also got lots of nice features like a sunny back garden, brand new roof, newly plastered and redecorated, newish kitchen, boiler not brand new but they have records to show its been regularly maintained etc nice plain bathroom so I hopefully wouldnt have to spend any money on it apart from a bit of paint for DDs bedroom.

I really like the bungalow that I'm currently renting- its in a lovely little house in a "posh" street in the best bit of the suberb where we live but as it was recently on the market for offers over £225,000 I couldnt afford that in a million years!!!!!!

I could continue renting it but then it would never be "mine".... DD could never feel like it was her own or paint her room and you always have the ongoing uncertaincy about the landlord putting it on the market again, and also those horrible "inspections" from the lettig agency every 3-6 months where you have to tidy up (hate tidying up!!!) and declutter. I want a happy messy house of my own where we can just relax and not worry about being inspected or putting marks on the wallpaper. Im constantly having to bark at DD to not put marks on carpet or trail mud in etc

paulineb_2

My mum didnt buy her house until she was 46 and she got a 17 year mortgage. She also bought it on her wage.

Dont let people put you off if you really want this house and you can afford it.