Savings when seperating- scared I will lose it all

neneromanova

As for your EX seeing the list, did you actually put how much savings you had down? If not, he's not really going to think it's enough for a house deposit. He'll probably think it's like £5-6k or something.

If you feel you can't keep up with everything, just think of your daughter. That you're doing it all for her and how happy she'll be painting her room in the colour she wants, being able to have friends over all the time and not worrying if anything gets messed up and you losing your rent deposit.

If it helps, why not write a to do list and put it on here so we can help/encourage you and maybe suggest things you hadn't thought of to make things easier for you

You're doing really well Tea. Just remember that

NAR

Post divorce and aged 50 I bought my current property with a 15 year mortgage. Thankfully interest rates have been so low as to allow me to comfortably afford to pay my mortgage.

TWM you will adjust your finances to accomodate your mortgage and in a year or so you will be telling yourself what a fuss you made about nothing.

teawithmilk

Thanks so much...well got through the morning OK without bursting into tears.

Just got a letter via e mail from solicitor stating that the court have served the papers on him, and that she is away on leave for a couple of weeks. I suppose its just a waiting game now. She aslo ssaid that because I have ben asking her lots of questions my estimated costs/her quote will go up!

And the quote she gave me was just for divorce- not for the financial settlement side of things.

Unfortumately he must have seen how much I had written down for savings. I recall the sheet of paper I left lying around clearly said 30k savings but I fobbed him off and said that I was borrowing from my mum. In his e mail to me he said that he had seen my financial notes 9I wouldnt be surprised if he had photographed it with his iphone or something) and he is angry that he feels that I have been planning this for some time. He says he knows I fobbed him off with an excuse about borrowing off my mum...he is now saying I got 20k more than him off the house sale in 2010 (which is true but I had bigger debts from supporting him and buying all building materials) and that we had agreed to split it 50/50 (actually we didnt agree that at the time) so he is obviously clued up enough to know about the financial side of things. 2010 is such a long way off I cant even remember exactly how we split the money, but I did get more than him out of the equity...but I had been paying the mortgage for 4 years on my own with no financial support from him as he was unemployed!

I wonder if he can go back as far as 2010 and force me to give him what he thinks he is "owed" - surely that would at the most be half of the 20k that he thinks I got more than him...

the joke is that if I added up all the money I have spent supporting him over the years while he has messed about it would be way way more than that.

thorsoak

Whack in that CSA claim, PDQ!! That will soften his cough!

If he can afford to pay £200 for an Ipad for a birthday present, he can afford to pay maintenance for DD.

Treevo

He can afford to buy her an iPad because he's not supporting even himself! You earn the same but you're running two households! You're bloody fantastic, frankly and he's a waste of space.

Errata

Just got a letter via e mail from solicitor stating that the court have served the papers on him, and that she is away on leave for a couple of weeks. I suppose its just a waiting game now. She aslo ssaid that because I have ben asking her lots of questions my estimated costs/her quote will go up!

It might be a good idea to ask any questions on the Wikivorce site first before asking the solicitor. Wiki is free, but solicitors costs are often eye watering even for the most straightforward divorce work. My friend's totalled £5k in the end, and there was little argy bargy to sort out.
Your old bank statements will indicate how much you got from the sale of the house. If you haven't kept them, you can easily get copies from the bank.

LannieDuck

I don't really understand how you worked your finances in the past, tea. Why did you split the proceeds of the house when you were married? Surely building materials etc were joint costs, and the proceeds were joint profit? Obviously you'd split any remaining profits now you're divorcing, but the reckoning depends on the situation now (and that would be the whole situation, not just the profits in isolation of any other savings accounts, pensions etc), not what the situation was in 2010 when the house was sold.

Hopefully someone like LazyDaisy can give you the legal view on it.

zzzLazyDaisy

LannieDuck wrote: »

Hopefully someone like LazyDaisy can give you the legal view on it.

I gave my view way back. Which is that the situation will be looked at as it stands today. So ALL assets, savings, etc go into one matrimonial assets pot. The starting point from there is that everything is split 50/50. Then adjustments are made for what is considered to be just and equitable in all the circumstances.

It was my recollection that when the house was sold he got his half to pay off is debts and OP saved her half, which is how she now she has enough money to put down as a deposit on the new house. Must be my misunderstanding.

Since that is not the case, it will depend in part where those savings did come from, but in general, savings accrued during the course of the marriage are joint assets, regardless of who's name is on the account, and regardless of who earned the money in the first place.

So starting from a 50/50 split the main thing to be taken into account is who is the PWC, and responsible for keeping a roof over the child's head. Depending on the age of the child the PWC is likely to get a larger slice of the joint assets.

If OP buys a house with her savings it is unlikely the courts will order it to be sold so she can give him his share (if any) but it is possible that an order for sale may be made when DD reaches 18. In which case OP could buy him out at that stage.

All the more reason for claiming CSA now!

But ultimately only OP's solicitor can advise as only the solicitor has all the facts. But there is no point in constantly pestering the solicitor with odd thoughts and questions as they pop up because every phone call and e-mail costs money.

teawithmilk

So when I got the payment (equity) off the house I had to think about how to prioritse the money. I paid back our respective families first- he owed his mum a lot of money so I paid her, then I paid my mum back what I owed her.

the remainder of the money I used to pay off my debts and once they were clear I gave him the remainder of the equity.

We had always agreed that i would pay my debts off as a priority because I was the only one who was creditworthy at the time.

Maybe I screwed up doing this, but morally I had paid the mortgage, supported the family for nigh on 5 years on my own and i felt like the least I could get out of it was to be completely debt free. So thats why we divvied up the equity instead of sticking into into a joint account.

neneromanova

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

I gave my view way back. Which is that the situation will be looked at as it stands today. So ALL assets, savings, etc go into one matrimonial assets pot. The starting point from there is that everything is split 50/50. Then adjustments are made for what is considered to be just and equitable in all the circumstances.

It was my recollection that when the house was sold he got his half to pay off is debts and OP saved her half, which is how she now she has enough money to put down as a deposit on the new house. Must be my misunderstanding.

Since that is not the case, it will depend in part where those savings did come from, but in general, savings accrued during the course of the marriage are joint assets, regardless of who's name is on the account, and regardless of who earned the money in the first place.

So starting from a 50/50 split the main thing to be taken into account is who is the PWC, and responsible for keeping a roof over the child's head. Depending on the age of the child the PWC is likely to get a larger slice of the joint assets.

If OP buys a house with her savings it is unlikely the courts will order it to be sold so she can give him his share (if any) but it is possible that an order for sale may be made when DD reaches 18. In which case OP could buy him out at that stage.

All the more reason for claiming CSA now!

But ultimately only OP's solicitor can advise as only the solicitor has all the facts. But there is no point in constantly pestering the solicitor with odd thoughts and questions as they pop up because every phone call and e-mail costs money.

OP stated that they split the proceeds and she got more as she had put the house DIY stuff on a credit card and she cleared that and her debts. He was meant to use the money to clear his debts but he paid his mum back and not the other debts and just squandered the rest.

EDIT:sorry, cross posted with OP