Savings when seperating- scared I will lose it all

tayforth

It's not nice having to involve the police, but nobody needs to know at this stage. If the worst doesn't happen, nobody ever needs to know. But if he does play silly beggars, you'll be glad that you logged each incident with them.

It doesn't matter that your ex is only making an effort with your DD now. Let him get on with it, better that than upsetting her. If she suggests that you move back in as Dad has changed now, perhaps explain that things would likely go back to the way they were if you did that, and reassure her that you will all be happier with the new arrangement.

I agree with LannieDuck - have a nice peaceful evening and do what YOU want - a bath, glass of wine, takeaway, read a book, watch a DVD, listen to music, phone a friend for a chat, do your nails, put on a face mask - whatever takes your fancy. And give yourself a pat on the back and say, "I finally did it!"

teawithmilk

I will, thank you, it will give me an opportunity to do some more unpacking. I might have a glass or two of wine- although not too much- my friend at work pointed out that I might just possibly get a phone call from DD in the middle of the night if she is missing me or if husband starts quizzing her or saying nasty things about me....I hope not, but its always a slight possibility. Its only 20 mins "staggering" distance by foot though (5 mins by car!) from new rented house to old one so even if I was over the limit I could walk and go and bring her home if she is unsettled. Hopefully she will have a pleasant evening with her Dad- I genuinely hope she does, for her sake.

NAR

Well done Teawithmilk, more good progress today.

Referring to your previous post, "Joint Debt" is extremely hard to prove, unless receipts have been kept to prove it. I couldn't even get cost of family holidays taken into consideration! So I think you are on completely safe ground regarding his debt.

Rest & Relaxation for you tonight - you deserve it :beer:

teawithmilk

well I took DD to stay with him last night. He didnt really say anything and I left quickly. This morning when I picked her up he still didnt really say anything but he muttered something about he thought I was only going to be away for a few nights. I still dont think he understands what is going on I suppose this is my fault as when I texted him the other day I said I was going away for a few days. Im taking Dd around again tomorrow (he didnt ask me to but it Is fathers day) she said that Daddy seemed sad when she gotback this morning and said that she thought he must be missing me. I have to stay strong and remember all the awful things he has said/done before I start feeling ssorry for him.

carefullycautious

It is cruel to send mixed messages so you really need to tell the truth that it is over and also inform him of the timescale for him to leave or take over the property. Do you have anyone who you can take with you for safety reasons.

I believe in a previous post you said that there is not much time for him to find another property.

Take care of yourself as you and your daughter are in a vulnerable position if he is at all unstable in his reactions to the end of the relationship.

teawithmilk

thanks, I dont want to send mixed messages either but the other day when I was desperate to get away I Just had to text him as I had to tell him something. Bearing in mind that he hasnt called or texted or emailled me since Wednesday (apart from to ask me why I had changed my paypal password)

tayforth

teawithmilk wrote: »

well I took DD to stay with him last night. He didnt really say anything and I left quickly. This morning when I picked her up he still didnt really say anything but he muttered something about he thought I was only going to be away for a few nights. I still dont think he understands what is going on I suppose this is my fault as when I texted him the other day I said I was going away for a few days. Im taking Dd around again tomorrow (he didnt ask me to but it Is fathers day) she said that Daddy seemed sad when she gotback this morning and said that she thought he must be missing me. I have to stay strong and remember all the awful things he has said/done before I start feeling ssorry for him.

Do what I do, play it back in your mind like scenes from a film.

I don't feel at all sorry or regretful about dumping my ex, but I can recall his behaviour and words any time I like. It helps to remind me why I did it. Not that I do it often - but it's very helpful.

Good for you bringing your daughter round tomorrow for FD - you're being the bigger person. Tell him straight that you're finished, and I agree with carefullycautious - bring someone with you if you can.

Telling that he was so concerned about your PayPal password!!

teawithmilk

I am so very grateful for all the support and advice that I am getting from you all. At least I can get on the internet here via my smartphone now.

This little house is just perfect for me and Dd at the moment-she seems happy here. It is so peaceful here without him. I didnt realise what a negative person he was until we get away from him-he complains about everything from his journey to work right through to the end of the day when he sits complaining about his laptop or what is on TV.

DD seems much happier here already. My mum is ill again so we spent a bit of time with her yesterday but we (Dd and I) had a fun evening.

The other day when I Was so scared and loading the bare essentials into the car I just did not know how to tell him. I did try and phone him but he had his phone switched off so I had to text and then I spoke to him on the phone later in the evening so by that time he has furious that we had gone. Since then he has refused to talk to me. Today my family are around so I was thinking of dropping DD off for an hour then when I pick her up I can say that this move is permanent.

I dont think I have behaved badly Im just trying to protect DD. I shouldstop feeling guilty otherwise his mind games of calling me names will start to work.

thaks again to everyone,I so,so, appreciate your help.

spirit

I'm glad you and your daughter are happy in your house.

I don't think you handled it badly at all. You did what you thought best and had the time for on the day.

Beware, he will try every trick in the book and a few more he's thought of besides in an attempt to regain control.

I'm sorry your mum is ill, have a lovely day today with your dad.

kelpie35

TWS you can only do what is best for you and DD. We are not the ones walking in your shoes.

Have a good day and take care x