Savings when seperating- scared I will lose it all

January20

egoode wrote: »

You are right people do read things different ways I guess I read it that you felt she couldn't make decisions for herself and was using us to make them. However I think she generally knows what she wants to do and just wants to know if others also think it's the right thing or if there's something else she could do she hasn't thought of.

And I am not the best at expressing myself
I didn't mean that she couldn't make decisions for herself. I think really I'm remembering how difficult it was in the first years of being in her situation (sorry TWM talking about you like you're not here lol) and how people try and influence you - sometimes with the best intentions. Perhaps, I'm projecting too much of my own experience? I remember so vividly how difficult it was to have to make decisions alone after so many years of making them as a couple!

I think she does know what she wants - indeed you are right - but needs reassurance and support. Understandable!

Brighton_belle

teawithmilk wrote: »

The dating site thing HAS been a bit of a disaster to be honest so Im going to sit back for a while and not try to be proactive. Im going to just ignore this strange bloke, not even reply.

TWM, you're catastrophising - the dating hasn't been a disaster at all -

• you met quickly - right thing to do, txts are meaningless with out reality
• You didn't leap into bed with him or or mega disclose
• you checked him out quite quickly
• you trusted your gut instinct and effectively withdrew - normal healthy behaviour.
• The statistical chance if 1st date = happy ever after is very rare - so what has happened is entirely within the bounds of normality.
• You had practice at a little flirting and learned loads for next time when ever that is.

Stop catastrophising! No it isn't nice when you realise someone's 'niceness' is a false front. But he's the one who's feeling a fool, if his angry shouting at you by text is anything to go by. Don't get sucked into a conversation with him now.

thorsoak

:eek:TWM: Like you I am .....very tentatively ....dipping my toes in the internet dating scene. Unlike you, I'm well over the hill, agewise - and I'm remembering very basic advice that I gave my daughter and now my grand-daughters ....you have to kiss an awful lot of frogs before you meet a prince - so look carefully before you kiss!

You've done the right things, you took what he told you with a pinch of salt, you checked out his profile, found he was telling porkies - now all you have to do is to block his number so you don't receive his silly texts!

Me? I'm having a second date this afternoon :eek:

Brighton_belle

Oh Thorsoak! Good luck with that. I find that inspiring.

BigAunty

teawithmilk wrote: »

I havent replied to the texts. Do you think he does sound like a nutter? The joke is I havent ignored him for 2 days I was in contact with him on Thursday evening...he seemed to have forgotten that!

He seems like a bit of a control freak and I dont need that!

Yes, to the control freak situation - he is being aggressive and trying to make you justify yourself where no justification is required. He appears to believe that you have to provide an account for yourself when none is due.

He is feigning amnesia about the contact you made. He doesn't have a 'what is good for the goose, is good for the gander' belief in equality when it comes to active profiles. He is lying either about his name or his employment status yet even though he has detected that you've sussed him out, he is still feeling bold.

He is trying to intimidate you. Do switch off that politeness chip. Block him on the site, ignore his texts, move onto the next profile.

Errata

Do you think he does sound like a nutter?

Yep! If you have a spare hour or so, have a look at a lot of other cheap dating websites. I bet he's on a lot of them!

msb5262

What I find amazing is that HE is clearly looking at the dating website if he's seen your new photo...and he criticises YOU for uploading the photo and not texting him. He has shown himself up beautifully...move on!

spirit

msb5262 wrote: »

What I find amazing is that HE is clearly looking at the dating website if he's seen your new photo...and he criticises YOU for uploading the photo and not texting him. He has shown himself up beautifully...move on!

^^ this

and what right does he think he has by telling/asking you to close your account down. How downright arrogant, who the h3ll does he think he is!

jobbingmusician

:spam: reported (the post by divorcesocalledexpert )

NAR

Any more news TWM? Has CSA been in touch with him?