Savings when seperating- scared I will lose it all

Errata

Just dont know what to think/do

Can you afford any type of holiday given the outstanding bills that are hanging over your head?
Haven't you just had a holiday with your DD?

Mojisola

teawithmilk wrote: »

I had a conversation with DD the other day where she said that her dad had suggested we all go away on holiday together.

I thought she had just got the wrong end of the stick until I got a text from him about half an hour ago saying that he would like to take her away but she wasnt keen on going without me and would I like to come along (Im paraphrasing what he said as it was quite a long text)

he ended it by saying "let me know as i will have to get booking something one way or another"

I wouldn't go on holiday with him. Don't blur the lines - you're separated and leading separate lives.

teawithmilk

Hi errata...no you are absolutely right I cant afford another holiday. Its hard enough paying my car bill (although the money from him this month will help towards that) I dont know what hes thinking of, maybe camping which would be quite cheap but even still....

Its just a crazy crazy idea....but yet again its just another problem to sort out. sometimes I really think he is totally delusional.

purpleshoes_2

Mojisola wrote: »

I wouldn't go on holiday with him. Don't blur the lines - you're separated and leading separate lives.

Agree

I also think some time out of dating till you feel strong enough to deal with any rejection after a short time of dating would be a good idea.

teawithmilk

Yup, I'm fed up trying to please everyone at once.

I am feeling a bit better about being dumped...I never stay down for long.

egoode

I don't think it's a good idea to go on holidays with him and DD. I think it could make your DD think there's a chance you will get back together which would not be good to encourage as it seems clear you don't want that to happen. Neither of you have reached a friendship relationship with each other as yet. That may happen further down the line or may never happen but unless you have a good 'friendship' relationship I would just say no, but you probably need to explain to DD why you can't do it.

I think it's also a bit of a game of his to talk to DD about it first before even mentioning it to you.

RAS

"Dear ex

Thanks for the thought but I have just been on holiday with DD and cannot take any more leave at this time."

Errata

teawithmilk wrote: »

Hi errata...no you are absolutely right I cant afford another holiday. Its hard enough paying my car bill (although the money from him this month will help towards that) I dont know what hes thinking of, maybe camping which would be quite cheap but even still....

Its just a crazy crazy idea....but yet again its just another problem to sort out. sometimes I really think he is totally delusional.

To quote Jeremy Kyle "Just say no". Your DD is old enough to understand that in the last few weeks you've had a very nice holiday with her on your own, so her dad can have one with her on his own. If she doesn't want to go without you, then she's old enough to make that choice.

purpleshoes_2

teawithmilk wrote: »

Yup, I'm fed up trying to please everyone at once.

I am feeling a bit better about being dumped...I never stay down for long.

I think a site where you make new friends of both sexes might be better for you. Im sure its been discussed before and Im aware that groups are different from area to area, but consider joining meet up. I am in a few groups and I organise one for single folks from 20s to 50 pluses, one thing its not is a cattle market, people can pair off if they like, but if people dont hit it off, its a social evening.

teawithmilk

Yes to all of the above!!

He knows I can take SOME leave off though as I did say that I wasnt just going to have him doing all the childcare over the summer. I want to spend time with DD and have a bit of a summer myself! the odd day trip and lazy day off.

But it just puts the onus on me now to have to say no. Which Im angry about...DD will be upset and he shouldnt have even put me in that position to start with.

I could carry on as I was before in a bit of a state of limbo...Or I could just pick myself up yet again, and get over this rejection, and move on....which I'm going to do I'm sure. Ive dealt with way worse.

I just need a few days to lick my wounds, have a few more long walks, listen to some loud music and feel sorry for myself... Everyone around me is too busy and quite rightly so. My counsellor is going to be earning her money this afternoon, poor woman!

Any motivational stuff would be very helpful if anyone has any ideas. I'll be over this in a day or two Im sure. I dont have time to sit still and mope about. Ive learnt a few lessons yet again.