Separated, how much should I provide?

kelpie35

Jack I can understand that your daughter feels a" bit caught in the middle"
of all of this, but you have to remember that she is a very clever young lady and she will understand your situation very well.

I would be a bit worried about renting out your FH in case you get tenants that might destroy it. I am sure you would pick someone who would respect your property. Would you have to spend a lot on making it ready for renting?

Is there any more news re court case?

I can only give you virtual support but I do so wish this whole episode in your life would come to an early conclusion.

Take care.

justme111

So how did you reply to the question why can mot you pay for everything as before.

victory

Surely though if it is felt you should pay for everything as you did before that is incorrect because there are no children living there anymore, you are no longer there, there is one person in the house, all the utilities for eg should be cheaper, food should be cheaper, all outgoings in fact ...

victory

Also when the inheritences come in your ex will be living a vastly financial difference to yourself then, will your daughter and son then think that is completely unfair then?

GobbledyGook

Who is telling your ex-wife that everything stays the same?

Because I'd put £50 on it being well-meaning, but ultimately unhelpful friends.

I had the same when I divorced. Friends who thought I should get the house, half his pension, my car, more than half of our savings and a tonne and a half of maintenance every month.

If I was bitter over the split, as your ex seems to be, I can see how easy it would be to get caught up in the whole 'his choice so he should pay' type mentality. I was the opposite (before things got really bad), I went down a very stubborn 'I want nothing' route and thankfully my sensible friends made me realise that there was a midway point.

Tbh Jack it sounds to me like both you and your ex have duff legal help. Hers is obviously happy for the case to go on and on and on and fill her mind with unreasonable suggestions (probably partly because you have been more than gracious so far). Yours doesn't seem to have any teeth whatsoever and also seems set on letting things rumble on and on.

I'd be deeply concerned about a plan to rent out the FMH. What happens about the costs for that? Being a landlord can be lucrative, but it can also be expensive to start with with gas certificates, agents or vetting plus any repairs that need done. Even assuming you get good, reliable, long term tenants you are still making an agreement with her on the basis of something unstable - even good tenants get made redundant or get sick.

justme111

I don't think I would rent the house out and give her proceeds while you yourself have.nowhere to live as in doing it you would be implying that ex is entitled to the money she gets as a "voluntary" support.
I also think renting is is bad as she will end up having the proceeds while you will be running arranging everything and paying.for.everything.

Ames

justme111 wrote: »

I don't think I would rent the house out and give her proceeds while you yourself have.nowhere to live as in doing it you would be implying that ex is entitled to the money she gets as a "voluntary" support.
I also think renting is is bad as she will end up having the proceeds while you will be running arranging everything and paying.for.everything.

And Jack will have to pay tax on thevrental income.

JackRS

kelpie35 wrote: »

Jack I can understand that your daughter feels a" bit caught in the middle"
of all of this, but you have to remember that she is a very clever young lady and she will understand your situation very well.

I would be a bit worried about renting out your FH in case you get tenants that might destroy it. I am sure you would pick someone who would respect your property. Would you have to spend a lot on making it ready for renting?

Is there any more news re court case?

I can only give you virtual support but I do so wish this whole episode in your life would come to an early conclusion.

Take care.

Thanks well it's already too late for an early conclusion....

No no dates

Yes I too didn't want to rent out for those reasons and boiler is probably not up to standard, so there would be some large set up costs which is another reason I was against it. However I was considering it as a compromise for reducing the voluntary payments to CSA level and to encourage her to seelk employment in her chosen location. I'm taking a bank loan to clear my credit card debt so would need to reduce the monthly payments.

BigAunty

Ames wrote: »

And Jack will have to pay tax on thevrental income.

And possibly capital gains tax when it sells.

The housing forum is choc full of horror stories from both landlords and tenants that come from accidental and inexperienced landlords.

It also postpones the final settlement, just dragging things out longer.

Houses don't sell when they are over-priced.

Marisco

Why are you giving her anything?? There are no small kids, you're separated, i.e different lives, it's up to her to take care of herself, and you to take care of yourself. Why do folk think that a lifestyle will stay the same after separation, it's totally unrealistic to even expect that!

You shouldn't have been a "soft lad" when you first split up, she should have been paying all her own bills from day one! And if she cannot afford the upkeep on the house, then she'll just have to move to somewhere she can afford. God, I hate women who turn into leeches, they give us all a bad name!