Too late to back out? (Meeting a guy from Facebook)

Wilma33

Just don't do it.

tigercubx

I know if I do back out though he will get really annoyed because I already have done once before and my worst nightmare is him blocking me on Skype, not awnsering my calls etc, the only time I feel happy is when I'm talking to him. I have got a guy who keeps flirting with me at work but I feel like I'd be ruining my chances with nick (guy from New Zealand) if I talk to him and he doesnt compare to nick at all even though he is similar looking and nice personality. I know my logic is messed up but I'm a messed up person lol

Macca83_2

Your sister, id imagine, would be appalled. I can't think she would have envisaged this when she passed on his details. She probably hoped that he would in some way help not take advantage.
If you were an outsider looking in, how would you see this situation? To me it looks like a manipulative, calculating person taking advantage of an emotionally vulnerable one.

heartbreak_star

So he gets annoyed. So what?

Being "messed up" is not an excuse for wrecking your own life and possibly that of a woman and 4 small children.

At the risk of being harsh, you're probably one of many girls he Skypes like this. To him, you are his "bit in England".

Read your posts back as if a friend was asking your advice. Then advise yourself.

Delete him.

HBS x

balletshoes

tigercubx wrote: »

I know if I do back out though he will get really annoyed because I already have done once before and my worst nightmare is him blocking me on Skype, not awnsering my calls etc, the only time I feel happy is when I'm talking to him. I have got a guy who keeps flirting with me at work but I feel like I'd be ruining my chances with nick (guy from New Zealand) if I talk to him and he doesnt compare to nick at all even though he is similar looking and nice personality. I know my logic is messed up but I'm a messed up person lol

do you realise how truly messed up your version of logic is? Its not remotely funny either.

suki1001

tigercubx wrote: »

He's not a psychologist, he studied it as he works with emotionally damaged children who refuse to speak as well as kids who've had strokes and stuff. x

This just makes it all the worse - he works with very vunerable people and he is exactly aware of how vunerable you are and is still willing to risk hurting you. That's just not even someone looking for a shag - I'd go so far to say he is a very cruel person who really, really does not care about anyone except himself. The fact he's willing to hurt everyone else around him for one night is just so sick. This is someone who is willing to sink to pretty low standards - you want someone like this?

I agree about the grooming comments.

What advice are you looking for exactly?

Goldiegirl

You've built him up into some sort of dream man, but the reality of meeting him could be very different.

He sounds manipulative and I think he's basically been grooming you for sex. He doesn't love you, he won't leave his wife, he'll use you for a meaningless sh4g and then will throw you aside. Once he's got what he wants I expect he'll delete your name from his Facebook.

Imagine how bad all that will feel.

It might hurt to say that you don't want to see him when he visits, and to stop chatting to him. But in the long run you'll be saving yourself even more hurt.

victory

You undervalue yourself so much you see yourself as just worthy of as you call it 'a shag?'

You need to work on your self esteem, how do you know that his photo is really him? How does he feel that he has 4 children and does not give them a moments thought to them or to his wife when he is skyping you and falsely promising you the earth?

Not even worth a thought.

thehappybutterfly

Oh my god tigercub you are like so immature it's like unbelievable. Like.

You're setting yourself up for a world of pain. This is not going to end well at all whatever decision you make. Seriously, get yourself some real people to be friends with.

And what does your sister have to say about this? Was this her plan?

I'm with Rubyroo - I think this is a wind up. You're quite chatty for a troll though.

Tropez

Sounds like a practitioner of the Four F's to me...

Find 'em, flirt with 'em, f*** 'em, forget 'em.

He'll come over. He'll use you and you'll never see him again.

Very safe for him, what with being in another country and all. He'd have already left his wife if this was going anywhere. He hasn't. You'll be a bit of fun one afternoon and that's it.

Nice dream guy you've got there, really.