Oh well I saved money on not having to buy a new outfit or a present!

Saturnalia

It sounds like it's that stupid thing people do (goodness knows why because I have never once known this tactic to work) of lying, or lying by omission, in an attempt to spare your feelings or save you embarrassment.

The reason it doesn't work is because the truth always comes out at a later date and in an uncontrolled manner and the conspiracy of silence causes more upset and embarrassment and feelings of exclusion than a quiet "did you hear we're getting married next month, just a small ceremony, don't want the fuss, haven't invited many people..." would have done!

LEJC

Saturnalia wrote: »

"did you hear we're getting married next month, just a small ceremony, don't want the fuss, haven't invited many people..." would have done!

Thats a lovely phrase....

Robisere

Storm in a Champagne Glass, get over it.

Don't let it show when you meet any of the attendees, just carry it off if they mention it. Why not send the happy couple a Congratulations card, maybe embarrass them? But write a normal message, no "WHY WAS I NOT INVITED, YOU ______ !

view

Why can't you just say 'I overheard on the radio the lovely dedication to you guys for your wedding day. Congrats! lovely news!' if they all know you aren't the type of person who would be worried about not being invited then there will be not a trace of anything untoward in your voice or expression and that'll be that, done and dusted, job done. Simples :huh:

burnoutbabe

does seem odd that none of your immediate family didn't know about it? maybe parents if your cousins were invited them probably your parents siblings also?

Saying "we are having a quiet one" seems far far more polite, than not mentioning it at all. I'd text your cousin and suggest meeting up anyway, may as well.

LEJC

burnoutbabe wrote: »

does seem odd that none of your immediate family didn't know about it? maybe parents if your cousins were invited them probably your parents siblings also?
.

the 2 of us and her siblings are the last of a branch of an extended family tree where many of the o older relations have now passed away...so we dont get to meet up at family gatherings that often....but previously theres been no problem with her accepting invites from my now side of the family or me accepting invites from theirs in fact we can go 6 months without seeing eachother and theirs never an awakwardness when we finally catch up that sometimes you get when you dont see someone for a while...and it was a lovely celebratory day that we met up for 4 weeks ago,instigated by my side of the family so the only thing we can think of is that everyone thought everyone else would mention it.

Mojisola

Saturnalia wrote: »

The reason it doesn't work is because the truth always comes out at a later date and in an uncontrolled manner and the conspiracy of silence causes more upset and embarrassment and feelings of exclusion than a quiet "did you hear we're getting married next month, just a small ceremony, don't want the fuss, haven't invited many people..." would have done!

This is why is seems so strange that they didn't mention it.

Are they going to pretend they're not married the next time you all meet up? If not, isn't it going to be difficult to say "We got married a couple of months ago".

I would have thought it easier to say in advance what Saturnalia says.

Justicia

Saturnalia wrote: »

I'm her elder son's godmother and I'd been assuming that siblings have the same godparents so I would be to the younger boy too. But I'd assumed wrong, my mistake

My two brothers, my sister and I all had different godparents.

**professor~yaffle**

LEJC wrote: »

Its got me thinking though...anyone else ever felt that they have been forgotten to be told something?

It's happened quite a bit with me, but usually with more distant relatives. I didn't know my uncle was getting re-married, for example and I wasn't invited to the wedding. I was studying on my year abroad at the time and I suspect the family thought I wouldn't have the money for the plane fares back so they didn't invite me.

It does sound a bit odd that they didn't mention it to you, yet they broadcast it on the radio. Did they not think you might be listening?

floss2

LEJC wrote: »

the 2 of us and her siblings are the last of a branch of an extended family tree where many of the o older relations have now passed away...so we dont get to meet up at family gatherings that often.......

In relation to this: my aunt (my mum's only sister) died quite a few years ago. My mum died in 2005. Her brother-in-law (my uncle) did not tell any of his 3 nephews & 1 neice on his wife's side that their middle son had died. We found out by chance when an aunt on my dads side mentioned it in a Christmas phone call about 3 months later. He also didn't tell us when his youngest son got married.

We just figured that he thought there was no connection between us all any more, which was very sad as both me & my younger brother were in regular contact with the cousin who died, and the one who got married.